I need help figuring out what the fuck to do in my situation
>diagnosed with more severe assburger's
>doctor doesn't want me working until I get therapy and some type of social training
>already fucked up under some job coach programs, I generally tend to break down during extended stress
>insurance runs out, move with parents far away
>try to make friends
>fail at this
>get some temp event jobs, I end up getting admonished every few hours during these and all but crying in the bathroom due to the (meager) work load
>know I can't do college, tried my hardest and got a 2.3 GPA in highschool and I'd probably just go thousands into debt because the workload was too high
>push myself to work again
>end up getting talked to about my supervisor about my performance despite how hard I tried
>do 5 jobs over the course of a year and a half
>still no friends
>no job, god knows I couldn't handle an actual job yet
>no insurance so no doctor
>refuse to take autismbux
I feel confused as to what I can do, and if I can actually do it. It seems no matter how hard I try, I still fuck everything up, especially job related things. What do with life?
How old are you, Anon? I'm 19 and have Autism too. I do attend Uni and have a part-time job, but even that can get stressful for me. I still feel like a fucking 10 year old too.
>>16856687
Sounds like you should move back in with your parents and find a way to get more therapy, bro.
Mental stuff is really tough because it feels like there's no way out, but there is. Granted, there are no simple fixes, but if you work with a professional, over time, you'll be able to live a normal and fulfilling life.
And honestly, there's no shame in taking autismbux if you're putting them toward getting help. That's literally what they're there for.
>end up getting talked to about my supervisor about my performance despite how hard I tried
>despite how hard I tried
What happens when I go to the bank, but the teller can't figure out how to count cash. "I tried!" Not good enough.
... and that's a hard lesson, anon, but a good one. Most of the time, you don't get points for trying. You tried and failed, and that's a hard lesson, but an important one. I know that spergs have a hard time understanding what the rest of us take for granted, but you'll have to just do something else.
I tried out for the hockey team in college. Didn't make it. Didn't get to get drafted into the NHL. I moved on. You will too.
>>16856724
I do live with my parents. I've thought of saving up for it, but I only have four hundred dollars saved up and I fucked up learning how to drive because muh emotional issues so I'd need a way other than my parents to attend anything.
I wouldn't consider myself depressed, although others have before. I feel as if there isn't much I can do though. My parents are somewhat supportive but not financially stable by any means, and never have been.
I feel like I've gotten shitty luck, coming into all of this.
>>16856742
I understand this, but it was
>anon pick up the slack
>anon stop being whatever
>anon what's wrong
Then a more-than-stern talking to.I just have no idea how the fuck it's done, despite doing this around 5 times now. I just don't "get" it.
>>16856758
I don't mean therapy for depression, I mean for your autism. Counseling can teach you how to handle stressful situations better and how to relate to people better. It's definitely worth it.
>>16856767
But what exactly was said during this 'stern talking to'. Surely at SOME point your boss must have at least HINTED how you were failing.
I expect you were just being too slow and aloof, and not proactive enough, but that may not be the case.
>>16856773
This, I know. I just included that bit as to maybe explain my heightened idiocy.
My biggest issues stem from the fact there's a large disconnect from what my hands do and what my mind says. My hands are anything but coordinated, as it even took me until I was 11 to learn how to tie a shoe.
Second biggest issue is task management. I'll be given multiple tasks but have no idea how to prioritize them in meaningful ways.
Third biggest issue is that I can't handle confrontation. I worked as a ticket checker and buckled under the stress of dozens of people coming through the door, a good deal quite upset or generally confrontational.
>>16856767
Boy this sounds a lot like my Senior year of HS. I had been homeschooled for 10th-12th grade and my social skills had plummeted. I also needed help writing by hand and doing some basic tasks. The special ed department treated me like a fucking 7 year old. It was so humiliating.
>>16856779
It was "What's wrong? Why are you doing it this way? Is there anything you need to tell me? If you don't straighten up I don't think I could include you in future assignments etc"
There's no shame in taking the autismbux, bro.
Take it, put it towards therapy sessions and over time you'll learn to handle the stress.
There's no shame in accepting help, especially when you honestly want to improve.
It might not be overnight, but it will happen.
>>16856799
Nah. There is a lot of mental illness in my family. My severely mentally ill family members get very little money, and being something as light as a sperg shouldn't be accepted. A lot more people far worse off than me should receive those funds.
I'm saving up for some stuff currently, but I've only about $400 to my name in total, $150 of which is an emergency fund.
>>16856716
Oh, I never answered this. I'm recently 20 years old.
>>16856834
I turn 20 in a few months. I still have a lot of problems being independent. Can't cook well, paying rent would stress me out, taxes are still a blur(tho my accounting class is helping on this front) What about you? Do you have any of these problems?
>>16856847
I don't have a job, nor am I in any education programs, so no. Although I can assume I'd have these issues, when I get to that point.The only thing that stresses me out is the prospect of working and my hectic household.
Probably the hardest thing is seeing my old "normal" friends back in my hometown far surpassing me in social and economic fronts, telling me "don't worry it's easy", when it's quite not. I don't think I talk to more than 4 people on average a week, anyways. My living situation hasn't been good on my social skills, either.
Highschool was utter hell for me. I got pity passed on some classes, and I don't think I ever got above a B in anything whatsoever, mostly due to me being a stupid motherfucker. I do not mind admitting that I am anything but bright. I looked at a CC beginning syllabus, and knew I couldn't handle the stress. Plus, I don't feel comfortable taking loans out with no income.
I consider a $50 purchase to be a very large investment nowadays. I'm sorry, I can't really relate to you when it comes to anything finance
>>16856859
$50 purchase would be a lot for me too. I have, at most, about $300 to my name. The part-time job I do pays like shit and I use most of that money for school supplies.
>>16856873
That blows man, sorry to hear it. You've already gotten into university and a job though, I'm sure you'll make it. I need to learn how to get on your level, honestly.
And this all happen because you didn't get direct t.v.
My gf's has two autistic cousins. One is wearing a crash helmet and staring off into the middle distance while making random parrot noises and glottal stops tier. The other is isn't he a bit different/I'm not sure about him tier. Both live with their respective parents and are in their 30's.
The first is basically going to need lifelong care. He attends endless courses and events and stuff, but it is basically to give his parents a rest. He isn't going to do anything.
The second has a full time job and while his life wouldn't exactly be called varied and exciting he is a functional member of his community. He works in a warehouse, he gets up early, makes family breakfast, opens the place up, checks the rat traps, moves his deliveries around. etc. He complains about how nobody really likes him and he thinks the boss is mean to him and he has to get his father to go down and negotiate on his behalf if there is a confrontation, but he still gets paid and does a worthwhile job.
We employed a guy with ass burgers. He has gotten a lot better over the years, but basically he started off as a compulsive liar, attention seeker, massive self esteem problems seeking validation, no social filter butting into conversations and stating his opinion as hard facts, getting really butt hurt and anxious and having melt downs, being unable to take feedback or anything which could be slightly critical.
He is actually a lot better now. But it has taken years and he had counselling. Also at times he is just as bad as when he started and this can snowball as he starts to make mistake after mistake and his judgement goes.
>>16856893
>mistake after mistake
Ugh don't get me started on this. I fuck up once, I try to correct myself, fuck up harder, get admonished, get lost, try to dig myself out, either succeed or utterly break down.
I'd consider myself extremely passive, to pushover levels. I'm a stuttering, tries-to-compensate-for-social-skills-by-talking type. I try to be everyone's friend, which I know isn't a very good thing.
>>16856901
I bet you could have a job. I don't know what type. I'd say it should be suited to you and have a working culture which understands and tolerates you and proper management, but I bet you could have a job.
You've awareness of your issues and your flaws and that is half the battle already. If you were oblivious then it'd be much more difficult to work it out and show improvement.
Some managers I've known are not exactly very nice people. They seemed to gain job satisfaction by focusing on easy targets and pointing out the obvious and obscuring it behind procedure, process, bullshit buzzwords and ultimately ineffective working.
You don't want a manager like that because you'll always be the easy target. They'll be convinced that they need to 'bring you up to speed' or 'take you to task' or 'support your training and development' when really what they'll be doing is getting a slight kick out of exercising the most basic of managerial muscles.
That shit ruins our guy. Much better for him is to be assigned a task and left to do it and given feedback at the end and then left to do another task. I can always find something for him to do, he might at times be a liability, but that is my failing. He wants to work, I need people to work for me, I can't do everything so cool, no problem.
Another guy at work will spend a week dissecting the task he did and patronisingly offering training for everything which wasn't as he would have done it while moving the goalposts constantly on him and generally managing to put across this "I don't actually give a shit and won't be offering or delivering any of this training anyway, my interest ends at the stating the obvious stentorian angle" attitude. Good use of time dude, 10/10.
>>16856932
>it should be suited for you
I've always been told you adapt for a job, not it for you. My family has relatively conservative views on working due to being working or lower middle class. I had to turn down my mother telling me about a position open at a McDonald's as a cashier. I know I couldn't do it, as money working went awful in job training. Finding something for me will definitely be the hardest part, in that case. I honestly find it shameful to not be working or in education at my age, minor mental illness or no, and it's the biggest thing I hate about myself.
But being aware of your flaws and setting hard limits isn't enough. If you can't thrive with your issues, you aren't worth anything. I'm trying to get to that point.
