How do you know when you've truly moved on and are ready to try love again, and how do you start down that path?
>>16811848
>how do you know
ask yourself "have i moved on?"
if the answer isn't yes, than its no.
>ready to love again
this isnt something you should think about unless there is someone specific to love.
>and how do you start down that path
i dont believe in doing anything more than 'putting yourself out there'. sure you dont meet people as often, but you tend to meet people you actually connect with, not people you force yourself to meet.
I think I'm about to experience this.
girl I deeply care about has been doing careless things that have been pushing me away. I just can't handle this anymore and I think I'm going to end this. Just thinking about it HURTS so fucking bad.
How do you move on? Like once I end this. What do I do? before I met her I was really depressed all of the time. Not looking for anyone or love but was just bored and depressed. But she picked me up emotionally. And really was mentally healthy for me. she put my head on the right track and was just amazing to me. now that's over. But what the fuck do I do now? I'm just working my job. With no motivation for anything
>>16811848
Important people in your life will always have an effect on you, but you move on by going out and having fun and meeting people, both friends and love interests.
>>16812025
>how do i move on
keep your daily routine as it was, but replace the time spent with her with a new creative hobby. not a leisure activity, a hobby.
its hte difference between doodling, and making a comic. the difference between reading a book, and writing one. the difference between sittingi n a chair, and building one.
if you dont have (m)any other contacts, start making some, and try to hang out with people at least twice a week. once during the week, once on the weekend. this will stop you from going crazy in your house. 2 is just the minimum. go crazy. especially at first.
>she made me better
if she made you better, than you are still better and will continue to be so without her.
unless you meant to say she MAKES you better, in which case shes still not doing you any favors, and you need to learn how to be better on your own.
its okay to grow and change thanks to a relationship wiht someone. its not okay to revert back cuz their not there forcing you to do something.
>>16812053
>but you move on by going out and having fun and meeting people, both friends and love interests
That just seems so much easier said than done. I just don't know how to do that. and, I'm done with love. I'm never going to get Involved with anyone ever again.
I was always comfortable with the thought of dying alone. But then I met that girl, and it changed my thought process. But she hurt me, so I can't go through these feelings ever again.
>>16812058
This was me as well>>16812062
But to add. I'll try finding something as a hobby. typically all I do when I'm off work is sit at home, watch Cops all day, workout for 40minutes at home, watch the news, eat, sleep, and MAYBE play video games.
that's my routine. with her, we would talk all day. And she would give me a drive I've never had. so time would go faster, I was happier, more positive and would even workout harder. now I'm just really unmotivated and don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
>>16812062
>go outside and meet people and have fun
>Easier said than done
jesus fucking christ. sure, on a literal level its easier said than done. but how hard is it to call up a friend and say 'lets go play lasertag?' than go out and fucking do it? or any activity.
>BUT I DONT HAVE FRIENDS-
make some
>EASIER SAID THAN DONE-
yes, on a literal level, but people make new friends all the time from all walks of life at different stages of life. there are millions of people just like oyu trying to make friends for the exact same reasons. and the internet lets you find them if all else fails. go to meetup.com. check oyur local hobby shops.
>im never goign to get involved wiht anyone ever again
said literally every teenager ever after a big braek up. you know how many people actually stick with that? like 2... in the history of the world.
>i was comfortable with the thought of dying alone
not a bad idea. when you die you wont notice if ur in a relationship anyways you'll just be sitting there thikning 'fuck how did i not see that car coming?' or some other such nonsense. even if you get cancer and ur wife stands by you. you'll be too busy being sad about dying and other shit you didnt get to do to say 'boy im grateful im not dying single'.
>so i cant go through these feelings ever again
you can, and you will. they will be more numbed over time generally. time heals all wounds. you are not the first break up ever. sounds to me like its one of your first, if not the first you've gone through.
but eventually someone else makes you go 'HURR DURR MAYBE I CAN BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN ITS TRUE THIS TIME'
>>16812087
I'm 26 years old, and yeah this was my first and only.
ive made it through all of my years no problem without girls. Then last year I got bored and decided to be proactive and ended up meeting a girl. The only reason it happened was because I was proactive. I could have gotten a girlfriend years and years ago. But I didn't give a shit. now, after I learned how love can be hell, I'm really never going to be proactive again.
>>16812105
you'll get bored and lonely again. dont get me wrong, im pro single, independence, been willingly single myself for 4 years (save for one particular qt i wanted to get with) but swearing off something is a pretty sure fire way to show how bad you need it.
its why addicts swear off drugs.
>>16812115
>but swearing off something is a pretty sure fire way to show how bad yo
That's not true in all cases, I got sick from Taco Bell before, and after that I said I would NEVER eat there again. It's been 10 years and I still haven't been to Taco Bell and never plan to. In a matter of speaking, I tried love, and in the end it got me really sick. So I never want to deal with it again.
Figure out what you're missing, what keeps you from being self-sufficient.
>>16812127
sure sweetie. believe that if you want to.
frankly im glad you are open minded about independence, even if its with a woe is me edgy attitude. but when the time comes, loves gonna hit you again. it always does. thats how humans work.
and it'll hurt again. it alwys does. thats how humans work.
like that stupid guy from the avengers said though 'something isn't beautiful because it lasts'
>>16812127
This isn't Demolition Man, not every restaurant is Taco Bell and not every girl is the horrible skank that hurt you.
>>16812142
But love doesn't always happen. There are many people who live their entire lives without love. I know a guy who is 45 years old and has never had a girlfriend and has never even kissed a girl before. It happens
>>16812143
I know. But I never want to experience this feeling ever again. I've never felt so unmotivated in my life.
>>16812165
then go ahead and operate under the assumption that you'll never love again. thats realistic.
we get it, ur sad, ur whiny, but ur not asking for advice. ur just sitting here whining about how your first relationship is truly so unique that you WONT be like literally ever other person in the world.
>>16812165
Yeah yeah, life is tough. But you'll get over it and move on like everyone else does.
>>16812170
I know I'll move on eventually. Just not with another person.
>>16812200
you have been in love one whole time. you certainly no better than us. why even ask for advice?
>>16812204
I never said I'm Better than anyone else here
>>16812214
meant to say 'know' as in 'you know better than us'.
>>16811848
when you stop asking yourself that question before trying to feel something, you're ready
>>16812219
I know my personality. And I know when I say I will do something, I do it. so when I say I will never be proactive with girls ever again, I know that's what will happen
>>16812241
>i have never been wrong about myself before
uh huh. that sounds real.
>>16812243
You're right. I have on things in the past. But if it's something I feel strongly about. I stick to it.
>>16812247
im sure you do.
>>16812258
yea I actually do. I said I would be successful without going to college. Well, I never went to college but got a job making $25/hr.
>>16812283
i never claimed that you never did anything you said. just that you dont do everything you say.
you are very very young. and as far as relationships go, even younger. you just had your first break up. i know i know, you are so wise beyond your years despite having zero experience with it...
go ahead and believe that if you want. i aint even upset about it. yeah im being a smug bitch, but if you were here id just rub your head while you cry it out and play video games.
but you will love again. its hilarious that you think you wont. you sound like every single middle schooler who had a break up. literally all of them. and when you tell them they will love again, they say the same shit you do.
>>16812294
>who had a break up. literally all of them. and when you tell them they will love again, they say the same shit you do
I'm a lot older than them though. Most of them had a girlfriend the next week
>>16812326
>I'm a lot older then them though
phsyically, sure. but you are romantically the same fuckin age. yes, you are a little more level headed, but if it walks like a 12 year old and talks like a 12 year old, then its a 12 year old (romantically). being older doesn't make your grand claim any more realistic.
an adult saying they are going to be a power ranger doesn't sound any more realistic than a 4 year old saying it. it just sounds sadder.
>>16812326
>>16812351
anywho OP, sorry for being a douche, but you know... had to. one day you'll look back at this affirmation and laugh (though no one ever wants to hear that as its happening).
hopefully you get passed the gf drama and just focus on having a fun life on your own again. good luck
Taking my first post virginity.
If you're here asking then obviously you want an answer that's different than the one you're telling yourself.
You never get over your first love. Never. They hold someplace special in your heart. Accept that. It is nothing bad. & It will take about as long as your relationship was for the scar to heal. (Unless you're constantly ripping it open.)
It personally took me the 3rd try to find my love. He was hidden as my best friend. (I mean I loved him all those years but I had a lot of growing up to do before I was ready for him.)
I had to combat codependency, drugs, anger issues, Abandonment issues.
Now I honestly Hate being around people.
You do what you want. Love does hurt. But its also the only thing that feels good too. (Whether friendship love, family love, etc.)
You know you've truly moved on when you're happy. When you don't harbor hurt. When looking at the girl who hurt you doesn't bring back painful memories but happy ones you had. When you dont have to ask yourself if you moved on. If love comes to you then it comes to you.
Sorry, Im quite the prolove.
I had a great first love, an abusive 2nd love, & now my life partner.
But you have to make yourself 'perfect' before you get into a relationship otherwise youll spend your relationship fixing. & No one likes fixers.
Sorry trying to stop ranting. x_x)
>>16812070
I'd say that's normal life lol.
My "hobby" is to find things to do. Do it until it gets boring and search for the next thing.
>>16812394
That's not OP that you've been talking to.
>>16812105
>>16812127
>>16812165
thanks for hijacking my thread you whiny jackass.
