Did I over react?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Be me Dating girl for 2 years.
Lived together for 1.5 years.
Talked about marriage and kids in future.
Had gone ring shopping.
Find out my dad needs heart surgery.
My dad asks me to come home for 6 months to help him pre and post surgury. I would be gone for 6 months helping my dad.
Dad lived 8 hours away
Tell girl that I needed to help my dad.
She freaks out about who would pay bills because I would be taking some time off work.
Next morning super awkward.
While taking her to work she said we would be on a break while I would be gone. Girl couldn't promise that there would be anything to come back too when I came back.
Packed my shit and left that morning.
Did I over react?
>>16791465
ehhhh. i mean you were going to leave. so its not an over reaction. or even a reaction. sure you did it in spite and sooner than you thought but...
there is no right or wrong person here. You guys have a life together and she didnt want to either A) lose you or B) run off to take care of an ill person for 6 months.
its big of you to choose your father over your girlfriend. there isnt much you could do about this. it does suck that your gfs response was 'ugh who's gonna pay the bills'.
but there isnt anything you can do to fix this. why wait to see if shes going to be around? shes decided that after 2 years you guys arent serious enough to make serious life changes for one another. leaving for six month wont exactly help that.
time to move on.
OP
Too me it was a wait till I have to leave and count down the days or rip the bandaid kinda situation
>>16791465
>Yo, my father has no one else to help him with his heart surgery
> OMG, who will pay the bills? If you go, we're on a break.
Fuck her. She either ridiculously self-centered or just wanted an excuse to jump ship already.
Sounds like you did the right thing. At least she was honest about it...
So I'm guessing she's unemployed?
>>16791502
>honest
She had a job but I was making about double of what she would in a pay period
>>16791465
I think you made the right choice OP.
Family is everything, and if your gfs first reaction is that she might be financially inconvenienced, she doesn't sound too special anyway.
>>16791509
So she thought that hey, why should i work when you do it so much better?
And you agreed? Idiot.
>2 years
>100% legitimate, reason (good on you for being there for your dad dude)
>her only concern is how this will impact her
>if you're not going to pay for her, she's dumping you and finding someone else who will
No, if anything it sounds like you're calmer than you should be. It looks like the entire basis of the relationship was what she could get from your wallet. But man, aren't you glad you found this shit out BEFORE you married her? You dodged a hell of a bullet, dude.
I wish I new this before I paid for us to go for a vacation to Mexico. This was 6 months into the relationship. I feel like an idiot for not seeing it back then. At least I didn't have to pay for the cruise that we were planning to go on in august.
>>16791775
man thats a bummer. i mean dont get me wrong im sure there was a level of affection in there, its never just black and white... but it sucks that you literally told her she didnt have to work... then as soon as your dad needs help she backs out. i mean fuark, itsn ot even like one of those situations where a sick relative moves in forever. its just six months.
>tfw no qt OP to go on a cruise with
>>16791775
did you have fun in Mexico? Because it's not a waste if you enjoy it yourself. Stop "investing" in women; that makes you a sucker. Relationships have to have a balance sheet in the 'now', not the future - if you're putting in time/money/effort to a girl and you're not getting an equivalent out of it right then and there, stop, because you're getting taken advantage of.
>>16791465
Basically you were asking for a long distance relationship for 6 months.
It doesnt actually feel that long as long as you are guaranteed to return. but she doesnt know that. Long distance relationships suck and everyone knows that. So you were asking for a lot. But from being in one I can tell you 6 months is no time as long as you keep in contact and visit like 2 days a month.
Now her response is a little tricky. She is overracting because she doesnt want the ldr and so she has tunnel vision and cant see that you really do need to help with your father.
That being said do not go on break. Thats just asking to get cucked. LDR is all about trust and love and if you dont commit to it and give it your all its not going to work.
Do not accept going on break and especially not that bs about not being sure if there will be something to return to.
>>16791857
I had told her that I would come back for 4-7 days a month as long as I could arrange for a caregiver to be present while I was gone.
>>16791946
sounds like shes just upset that her jobless lifestyle would be interrupted. off to find the netx money bags. didnt want to close the door entirely on you cuz shed rather have you back then keep searching for another money bag after six months.
>>16791465
She's upset that you have a family emergency and need to go be a good son to your father? Just break it off now. She obviously doesn't care about your feelings or your family.
nah that sounds sick. id be happy that that is what i just left. fuck that girl if she aint bout you breh,. thats your dad...
And what else did she talk about when you brought this up? There has to be more than this story about her worried about paying bills. It just seems like your leaving something out OP
I would have done the exact same thing.
>>16792153
Pretty much this. I guess you're renting together and she'll have to pay for the whole thing.
>>16792153
One of the other things she brought up was that when my parents needed anything I would always try to do make it happen. She was concerned the 6 months could turn into 1 year. It is true that if recovery took longer I would have had to extend my visit.
>>16792231
We are renting together. Lease is up in April. I paid the land lord half the rent for the remaining time like me and her had been doing.
>>16791491
This OP no doubt about it
Thanks to everyone who has responded. I'm glad I left before there was any tiny people to take care of.
I know my father is happier now that I am home. Just gotta get myself back to the happy place now.
>>16793311
Good luck man.
I wish you nothing but happiness.
I'm currently with a money grabbing girl but cant leave, she'll be homeless. I wish I had your spirit and balls to leave.
Does she have a job? How can you expect a stay-at-home wife to bring in an income?
>>16791465
Family is forever, pussy ain't
Keep on doing what your doing fuck the hoe
>>16791465
Good family is everything. She should have been fully supportive. By the same token you made a big decision without considering the impact of how it would effect your SO who you were planning to marry. Does she have a reason to not trust you? That is a long time. And without a ring, it's a lot to ask of her to stay committed. A break is a little selfish with what you're going through it might just be a ploy but she also has to look out for her own interests. Be on break but if she won't support you emotionally through this then don't go back to her.
If you're who I think you might be, you're a great dude and I hope you are well.
Lol no your girlfriend is crazy and not marriage material this is a huge red flag that should make you one step closer to realizing women are shit and not worth marrying.
>>16794043
Dude he's not the only person that has LDRed with a girlfriend.
