I need some help
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I will give some backstory to help you guys and girls out.
>I've been with five women in my life.
>Straight but I have always said to myself I'd be happy with either gender.
>Met a guy back in October at a Halloween party.
>Think he's pretty cool we start to hang out a lot.
>Couple of days before Thanksgiving he comes out to me and tells me he's gay.
>"W/e no big deal". I tell him.
>On Thanksgiving he texts me he's grateful for me being in his life.
>"O-oh ok"
>Couple of weeks pass and he tells me he is a virgin. I again don't honestly view this badly.
>Also during this time he has been sending me pics of him hitting certain milestones at the gym and stuff (maxing at 315lb on bench, etc.)
>Again no problems and still continually hang out with him and stuff.
>Go to a new years party together with a few other friends.
>About a half hour after the ball drops I see him outside by the cars by himself decide to go see whats up.
>"Hey what's up Ric--"
>Pushes me up against a car and starts kissing me.
>Push him off me pretty quickly and kinda yell out "THE FUCK"
>Go get in my car and drive off with him saying "oh my god I'm so sorry" the whole time.
>Be about a week after we haven't talked I think to myself that it wasn't actually that bad, actually kinda nice.
>Decide to text him.
>We both agree to meet up at a coffee shop.
>Tell him how I felt.
>See the biggest smile on his face.
>But then he tells me he has to go to Europe for three weeks for stuff with his job.
>We talk and text twice a day usually.
>Actually am really liking this at this point.
>Comes back the beginning of this week.
>I was busy with classes and he had work.
>Both free Thursday decide to hang out.
>We both started to drink a bit and well we ended up having sex.
>Some of the best I have ever had actually.
>Today comes and I begin to realize some problems I might have.
Too long part 2 coming with my concerns.
Yes you're gay.
Part 2
One of my concerns is that he is or was now a virgin and he might become too attached to me. My second being is just because I am ok with being with whoever I want to be with doesn't mean my family will be. As a matter in fact I know they won't be. I know they also will never drop this, I could basically cure cancer and solve world hunger and I'd still be their "their gay son". So I guess my question is to you /adv/ is do I come clean with my parents in a couple of weeks after I see how this goes with (Richard is his name btw), or do I tell Richard that this won't really be long term or I don't know...
>>16773833
>One of my concerns is that he is or was now a virgin and he might become too attached to me
Well, don't lead him on if you're just playing around. He seems like a great person.
>just because I am ok with being with whoever I want to be with doesn't mean my family will be
It's not their business, and so you should keep it to yourself until you feel comfortable talking to them about it. Most people don't come out to their families until many years later, and some, never speak a word of it. They just let the family guess. If you're dependent on these people, and they're very judgmental, keep silent.
>>16773833
Thats the problem I have I am worried he might though. I want to tell him I want to take it slow and privately without making it come off that I am ashamed of him or what we did.
Yea I am really close to my parents. Also my mom is going through some rough stuff right now. Shes going through a divorce and she moved pretty far out of state and she's basically all alone there and my dad has a mid-life crisis thing going on right now.
>>16773866
Keeps giving me a connection error when I try to quickreply and fucked up my reply.
Meant to add on that I am not ashamed of what we did.
>>16773820
You could be bisexual
Or gay who found 5 women he likes
Or straight who found a man he likes
And that last thing about Not long relationship is depressing and you shouldnt ____until you try
It doesnt matter if he gets too attached
Eventually hell lose his attachness( i dont know if that word exists)
If hes too attached you could try trying to make mutual boy friends
>>16773886
Sorry bad english
>>16773886
Thanks anon I kinda already knew I was bi though :P . My concern is literally just how do I tell him I want to take things slow and privately without making is seem like I am ashamed of him or what were doing. Which I am not. Then if and when do I come out to my parents and rest of my if things are going well between us.
>>16773904
>My concern is literally just how do I tell him I want to take things slow and privately without making is seem like I am ashamed of him or what were doing.
By just being upfront and telling him about your situation. That you'll tell them if/when the time is right.
>>16773820
Understand that we shouldn't live for other people. Who gives a shit about what your parents, brother and friend's sister's third cousin thinks? This is not an easy decision for you no doubt, and like many situations they have advantages, and disadvantages. It seems like you have a general idea of the dilemma of choosing one option over another. YOU need to make a decision.
If YOU value family, and all that they offer OVER personal happiness (this depends if you are happy in the current situation or not) then you might choose not to pursue.
if YOU are happy in the current situation and YOU think that he might be the right person for you, and YOU value that at the expense of family, this might be the option for you.
Understand that most people make a decision because of something or someone else. "I was going to do that, But Steve said it wasn't a good idea"
Listen, if you can think objectively, without emotion, or the influence of other people's opinions, and make a decision, whatever that decision may be, that will be your best option. Good luck.
>>16773911
I guess I've been overthinking it. Thanks anon.
>>16773915
Thanks anon :)
But this isn't going to be easy though
OP here
I think I am just going to ask/tell him if we can go slowly and privately. When I see him again in person on Sunday. Then if he's ok with this and we work out I might tell my family later this year or early next year maybe.
Err...does anyone by chance have some infograpics or tips on. Well. Pleasuring a guy or on anal? Things could have gone a little smoother for us on Thursday lol
>>16773820
Well ur a fag breh
>>16773965
You must be ashamed of yourself. Imagine your parents suddenly realize you are gay. Pathetic.
>>16773970
Not at all. However I am not going to throw everything I have with my family over somebody who is not right for me and over the course of a few months and a year I think I'll figure that out.
>>16773980
Think about it. Your gonna be gay forever because you took it in the ass.
>>16774012
Bad bait.
>>16773965
Anyone?
>>16774174
Bump out of interest
>>16773833
Don't make any serious plans either way.
See where the relationship goes. Have fun with it.
If things do get serious, deal with coming out then.
And your family might surprise you. Either way, it's your life and you only get so many opportunities at happiness.
>>16774321
Thanks :)
You got anything for the second part in >>16773965 though?
