If you can't take a burn from left field then your portrayal of joke/diss affection banter shouldn't have entered the workplace. Your boss is gonna call you a baby if you cry about it. You brought this upon yourself and you know how you have to get out by playing back.

>>16636295
I can take banter, but he's just downright insulting sometimes and it pisses me off. Another example:

I'm tutoring a group of students trying to get them situated, and he butts in continuing some earlier conversation we just had about personality differences. In front of the whole group he goes "You just don't really have an approachable personality. Actually you're not that intimidating either."

He then proceeds to question the entire group (wasting time, btw) to see if they thought I was approachable. None of them answered because they thought it was rude, and I was pissed so I kept helping the students with their work. His "banter" is just petty, mean comments. And most of the time it's only me and him or another co-worker doing anything, so it isn't as if I make a scene every time I'm in there.

>>16636266
>"haha you're single"
This is not what has upset you.
>my boss is just a cunt
This is what has upset you.

>and you wonder why you don't have a girlfriend.
Belittling you in every way possible. Calling you unattractive, immature, stupid, and basically accusing you of trying AND failing to hit on girls.
>I know why you're single, actually me and Anon (my best friend) know why you're single.
He's trying to single you out by including your friend on his side, essentially saying "yeah, these guys agree with me, so don't tell me I'm wrong."
>Apparently all my work to teach you charm has failed.
He's claiming he's smarter than you, and he's expressing disappointment. It's very insulting. He's also saying that you have no charm whatsoever, and implies heavily that this is in spite of a long time of practice.

In doing all of this he implies that you have do actually care about charming girls and put as much time into it as he thinks of himself. He's trying to make himself look better than you even at a subject that has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's projecting his priorities and interests onto you to help himself to think he's good.

It wasn't funny and he didn't provide any credible reasons. Any response other than laughter would be counted by him as "you getting defensive," which is probably just as untrue as the original joke but in his mind it just makes him more credible. He's not really presenting much of an argument but he's right just because he says so, and you aren't allowed to disagree. It's smug and it's really not clever, it just makes an ass out of everybody. You're right to be annoyed but there's no responding to something like this, he'll use any response as evidence for his claims because he never had any to begin with.

He's an asshole with a fragile ego.

>>16636336
Yes, and there's nothing I can do. The few times I have thrown it back at him, the response I get is "OH WELL YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE A JOB HERE YOU KNOW"

I'm a very forward, direct person. Non-combativeness is not in my nature, but it's like every time I get into it with him I have to back down and that is not easy for me to do. The only bargaining chip I have is I could leave, but the money is great and I like working with the students. But that man is just a cunt.

>>16636331

Well pussy either stand up for yourself like a man or stfu. What good is seething in anger when you aren't going to do a damn thing. The only reason your boss does this is because he sees how much of a wimp you are.

If it was me, I would have asked to talk to him privately and then told him to never disrespect me like that again. That what he is doing is childish and him trying to one up me in front of the student doesn't help anyone.

It doesn't matter if is your boss dude, you need have some fucking backbone

>>16636350
The problem is that OP does this with his other pansy friends as a joke, so his boss thinks he's being friendly with him. But Opansy is too afraid to play back and possibly get fired for going as far as his boss man.

>>16636350
Read >>16636349

I am not a wimp. I will take on anybody, but unfortunately he has leverage on me that I can't counter with. I have been a little more aggressive just to test the boundaries. Maybe next time I will do what you say and just pull him aside and tell him to stop.

>>16636362
Okay, so how should I approach the situation next time he goes in on me without blowing up?

>>16636349
He doesn't have any legitimate points. He's operating under the assumption that he's right at all times and being right is funny and rewarding to him, so it's imperative that he finds a reason to declare himself right.

This is not an issue of banter, it's an issue of an adult child. His goal is not to be funny, his goal is to find reasons to think he's better than you. He WILL fire you if you stand up for yourself because it does not even occur to him that he could be wrong and he will take as a personal attack out of spite and nothing more.

A lot of people will confuse this with just regular friendly behavior and banter but it is not even close. This man is not trying to be your friend, he's a glorified schoolyard bully. There is no logical response for anything he says because they are not logical, and they only serve to make you look bad. If you do say anything he uses it as evidence to make you look bad. Just look at how anons respond when they hear his accusations, they immediately turn on you and call you a wimpy faggot nerd who can't take a joke. This is EXACTLY what he is setting you up for and this is EXACTLY why he does it.

As soon as you leave he's going to find another target. There is nothing you can do, everyone always supports the bully and he is legitimately your boss so he WILL actually try to punish you for reacting to him. Either fuck him up or just leave, he will act completely innocent in any case and use it as an excuse to dismiss any complaints you may have. You are FUCKED.

>>16636365

I mean for the love of God, do you hear yourself? Just tell the prick to stop doing that and have a face to face with you staring at him right in that eyes.

The level of disrespect and digust he shows you is insane and all you do is ignore it. He bullies you anon and you are the victim. Guy sees a guy who doesn't stand up for himself and come up with a nice banter and so he just flat out insults you. He probably tested you early to see how far you would let him go and you let him without so much of giving him a fight.

Fuck all that "I will take on anybody" you are spewing and actually have some fucking self respect you faggot.

>>16636374
By not blowing up and quietly staring at him like the rest of your coworkers have seemingly organized into the default reaction to him trying to be a rude buddy. Then you go in and try to actually be buddy-buddy with him in understandable terms and teach him the ways of your pansy-diss-talk manners so he's not just airing out his asshole infront of his peers.

>>16636266
>insults others
>but can't take the heat when it's on him
fucking faggot

>>16636385
Here's some more context:

My major is in Economics and Finance (dual-degree, honors, yadda yadda) I do this because it's good money for spending and I like it. He was alos a financial guy so he thinks we "gel" on this subject.

He got fired from his financial career because he made comments about one of his bosses in an anonymous peer review (in his words, his review was detailed enough so people would know it was him) his boss fired him, but apparently he didn't have the authority so the company wanted him back. He refused to go back because he felt like he was fired for refusing to sell terrible mutual funds (though according to him, he made great returns for the company even without selling sub-par funds). He constantly re-iterates this is why he got fired.

He was also a frat boy in college and constantly goes on about his "glory days". Constantly. Never-ending.

I know complaining is wimpy but this is really the first time I've ever backed down this hard from someone. It's really tough for me to keep it down and not counterattack, which is what I want to do all the time.

>>16636388
Can you not fucking read? When I have gone at him (and believe me, we've gotten into yelling matches) it inevitably boils down to "well you can always get another job!!!"

>>16636412
He's going out of his way to make outrageous insinuations about you and he uses ANY reaction you give as evidence of them.

The only thing I've seen that ever works is loudly and aggressively declaring defeat and leaving. It's not funny, it's not banter, it's passive-aggressive, there's no valid response to it, and it makes everybody look bad, but it brings him back down to your level. It's the only thing I've ever seen work because it does basically the same thing.

It will probably make him hate you though, but he'll leave you alone.

>>16636433

Well there if your fucking answer you spineless faggot lipped pansy. Find a job where you don't get bullied like a child.

Or what you are going to continue this job getting bullied by an adult? Kek.

>>16636447
His wife runs the other location for our business, and she's a real sweetheart and apparently he does the same thing to her. The difference is, she can pull him aside and threaten to leave with major repercussions.

She and I joke all the time about how unbearable he is, and she often talks about how she can only deal with him through alcohol and Xanax. I have to run all my business-improving ideas through her because she is very meticulous and organized, while my boss is just not.

They apparently have a huge budget for weed because if he doesn't smoke at least twice per day he gets really moody. I could care less about the weed but I can't imagine him more moody.

He likes to tell some of the girls in our program that they should break up with their boyfriends so they start college fresh. While I understand his point, there are a few girls who come in and he flat-out asks them every single time "have you broken up with you boyfriend yet?" and they look to me to shut it down, so I have to tell him to stop and put them to work quickly before he talks their ear off for an hour about how they should rid themselves of their relationship. It's seriously bothered a few of them.

>>16636501
The obvious choice is to just act like him, but I don't think you would really want to do that.

Does his wife know he's been aggressively hitting on every girl that walks in the door? That must be his "charm."

>>16636522
I've told her what he does becuase it creeps them out, but idk if she did anything about it. We only discuss it when I get a chance to go over there and it's nice because I feel like I'm not going crazy or being hypersensitive, and my boss really is just an asshole. She laughs about it and whatnot.

But basically any change I want to make I have to go through her because otherwise it will not get done. Here's an example:

I want to re-do our company website because it looks like shit. So I texted his wife for the password, but she didn't have it so she had to get it from him. He told her "I don't want to work on that right now." But I needed it so I could work on it while I was on break from school. Has the website gotten updated? No. Do I have the password, months later? No.

Talk to your boss one on one and tell him why the things he says make you feel the way they do.

This is the best and most reasonable solution? What else can you do? Some passive aggressive petty shit? Kill him? Quit your job?

It's a shame that your boss is fucking up what otherwise would have been a great job. What worries me though is that it sounds like you really could lose your job at any moment.

>>16636578
One of the reasons why I'm so frustrated is he was going to leave to start a new branch and I was to take over this one, but that plan is done. Now I have to deal with it all over again.

>>16636591
That's why I don't want to just quit. It pays really well for the work I have to do, we get really good kids who like to learn and they're constantly seeking my advice and mentorship, I help some of them get into college and it's very rewarding. People saying "get a spine" don't understand that this is a nice job doing something that really fulfills me and allows me to have a really good lifestyle while I'm in college. I don't just give up on things either.

My boss doesn't believe in tenure (neither do I) and we agree that employees should be kept based on performance. But he uses the "I'll fire you" typically as a last-resort shut-down argument so he can win by default because I can either walk out or move on.

>>16636613
Way to completely ignore my suggestion you pussy idiot

>>16636621
Then give better advice you dumb shit. Learn to read:

>That's why I don't want to just quit. It pays really well for the work I have to do, we get really good kids who like to learn and they're constantly seeking my advice and mentorship, I help some of them get into college and it's very rewarding. People saying "get a spine" don't understand that this is a nice job doing something that really fulfills me and allows me to have a really good lifestyle while I'm in college.

>>16636613
You care a lot about your work and I think it's safe to assume that everyone else knows that you care about your work. So it doesn't make sense for him to fire you if you've been performing so well.

>>16636657
I'm not a fucking wizard. If talking to your boss about your feels will get you fired there is nothing that can be done. Other than letting him fire you and filing a wrongful termination lawsuit, which, to me, sounds like you would have an incredible chance of winning.

>>16636659
I don't really have any qualms about being fired, if he gets rid of me has to pick from a long list of dumb people (I know, I interviewed most of them). I just don't want to deal with his man-child antics and constant berating of my character despite the fact that I am doing way better than he did in college and my job prospects will be much better once I graduate.

He tries to "buy" me and my co-worker's loyalty. He often overpays us because he thinks it will ensure we stick around for the "long-term", but my friend and I both talked about it and she agrees we would leave if something much better came about. Thing is, there isn't much better until I graduate. This is my last semester anyways, so hopefully I'll get myself into a decent investment company or start my own.

OP you keep bringing up that your boss keeps dropping "if you don't like it you can leave or I can toss you" like it's not fair and somehow this validates your dislike of him.

It isn't but you are probably giving off a vibe that he picks up on. If he bothers you but you like the job, professionally do the job and don't let him bother you.

>BUT I CAAAAAAAAAN'T I really hate him

We all have had bosses that seem to exist only to destroy our morale and inconvenience us dude. How you handle that is a test on your part, not his.

>>16636662
If I rationally talked it out, I doubt he would fire me, but he would assume like some people in the thread that I am a whiny baby and this shit would continue. If I express any firmness in shutting him up, he lords his status over my head. So it isn't like I am dealing with a rational person.

>>16636675
It's not validating my dislike, I'm saying the option to defend myself or even fire back smart doesn't get me anywhere but that dead-end. That's probably what I was going to do anyways, just bow my head down and do my job and have fun doing it. But it's a small business and we work in close proximity so being distant isn't always an option.

I can work around it, I mainly wanted advice to see how people think I could/should deal with this. I want this job, and I really wanted to take over this branch and let him handle something else, but it didn't work out.

>>16636689
Are you worried about what will happen to the tutoring business once you leave?

>>16636733
I joined because I was a student of his long ago, when I was graduating high school. Our main business is ACT prep, but we do some other stuff now. The reason he brought me on is because he knew me and I went up 8 points on my ACT after being in the program, so I know its benefits. And his methods are antiquated. I don't believe he can unlock the value in the company.

For example, he makes us do these post-card mailouts as our main form of advertising. They cost him thousands, and yes they do bring people in, but we have to hand-stamp around 14,000 when I feel like we could just use social media for free. And we do this every other month. And it's not horrible, but it's annoying and he insists "this is a simple equation that translates to dollars for us"

But his end-goal is to franchise to other places. Other schools are not going to want to do fucking mailcards every few months.

>>16636775
Okay, so what you're saying is that the business is not going to do very well once you leave. Makes sense. I guess what I'm asking is, does that upset you?

Why is it when you call someone a retard it's a joke, and when he calls you single it's mean?

>>16636905
Sort of. I want ti to succeed because I do think it has great potential, but not under his management. It's very carefree, and standards are poorly implemented.

I can always do other things, I am well-qualified. I can always emotionally detach and say fuck it, but it is a great thing for students.

>>16637039
>complete ignoring the context of the situation

good job

>>16636266
A dumb ass bro is your boss and you're jealous of that he has a girlfriend. Both of these can be remedied.

>>16637663
He has a wife, and I'm not jealous. I'm pissed cause he disrespects me

>>16638579
If you weren't jealous of hom being in a relationship you wouldn't be so offended when he laughed at you for bekng single.

>>16636266

well 2 things:

1) sounds like you don't like your boss and this is a key problem in a job, that could and should lead to quitting/firing. Liking your boss is key to a good job experience.

2) Work is not social hour. You keep the banter light, nothing you wouldn't say at church. So calling your boss a retard, especially in front of his GF is way too far. Sounds like your idea of work is a little out of whack. I work for my brother's company, and even with him (who I have known my entire life) I still keep it professional while at work.

>>16638777
It's not my bosses GF, it's my best friend who also works with me. My boss overheard one comment and literally felt the need to white-knight for her. He's one of those "we must practice southern chivalry" types. I am not outright rude to women. His gf is my friend, we've known each other for years, that type of language is common between us and it was really only us there. It's not like I called her dumb in front of students or anything, which he has done to me before.