>>16636204
I think she gave some effort to you. It should be appreciated.

I think the concept of gifting for the sake of it being christmas or holidays is a joke, and people who think that way should re-evaluate their situation.

You should gift because you WANT to, when you want to, not because a day says you should, she probably felt the same way, and after recieving something, felt she should return the favour y'know?

The time spent together should be more valuable than any material you can give each other.

I mean i'm incredibly depressed and pessimistic, so take my words with a grain of salt, but holidays are just a way of making people spend more. People are bound to be a lot more surprised/happy to recieve something out of the bloom than on a 'special day'.

I guess the one thing exempt from that is anniversaries, since it's to signify the day you got together.

>>16636204
As long as you guys like each other, does getting a present really matter? Drop the materialism. I'don't rather a nice letter than some bought present.

>>16636228
Fucking auto-correct.
>I'd rather

>>16636223
And I share your opinion.
I gave her a gift just because I wanted to, I just felt like it and I didn't expected something in return.

I just wanted to hear some opinions.
Felt weird, because I was talking with her last week, and she told me that she got this and that for some friends, she bought gifts to them.

I don't get mad, it just felt weird, she had time to look for a gift for her friend, but it feels like with me she just made it because I gave her something, not because she wanted to. That's why i'm asking and wondering that I might be doing something wrong...

Not really, not mad, but dissapointed that he either didn't listen to my wishes or desires, or that I was dating somebody so broke/stupid that they couldn't surprise me with even the smallest something like my favorite dessert.

>>16636228
You're right, maybe I didn't explained it well.
I always give her letters, and a present if I can and I want to. I'm just wondering if i'm doing it wrong and I should give gifts less often, so she doesn't feel compromised.

Basically what I said in >>16636243

>>16636243
>wondering that I might be doing something wrong...
Care to post a transcript of the letter? Maybe we could find something in it to alleviate your fears?

>>16636263
"I wanted to tell you all this when I come back from my trip but you really blew my mind with your present and the letter."

The other parts she say that she loves me and that she'll miss me lot, and stuff that only we understand haja

Also she said: "Excuse my writing, this wasn't planned"

So yeah, I don't want to make her feel compromised desu.

After 6 months, I wouldn't expect a gift beyond some token or candy or whatever.

>>16636299
Fair enough. Doesn't sound to me like you have anything to worry about.
I do agree that it would be a little off-putting knowing that she got something for a friend and nothing for you.
Had she gotten you gifts in the past? Even little things?

>>16636334
Gifts, not so much, almost none.
But little details yes, but rarely.

I'm sorry all this sounds stupid, she's still on her trip, I haven't talked with her in like 4-5 days. And I miss her a lot. It's the first time I miss someone in this way and it just sucks.

>>16636378
I getcha bro, no worries. Missing a love sucks vinegary balls.
For me, it's those little things, not gifts or grand gestures, that really pluck at my heart.
I gotta ask though... when it comes to effort... are you the one doing all the work? Does she reciprocate?

>>16636416
Like pay when we date and that stuff? Yeah, i'm used to that. We had a kinda argue about "reciprocity" some time ago.

She complained about being jelous of a very, very distant friend that I rarely speak with (1-2 times a month), while she's a very close friend with guys that used to like her. And he's very, very close with her ex. And i'm totally cool with that and I don't get mad about it. One day, we were on a party, I asked her if she wanted to dance with me, and she told me "no, I don't want to" 2 times. Later I saw her dancing with lots of energy with her ex, and other friends. That didn't annoyed me, but I told her "Hey, you would be very mad if I did the same". And she kinda got angry, and well, we had a rough time. But we moved on apparently.

I feel like she's trying to protect herself, she had very, very scumbag boyfriends before that treated her really bad. So maybe she's being like that just for protection, I told her that and she kinda agreed.

>>16636204

Don't worry about it. Christmas isn't really about the gifts anyway.

>I got my lady the following:

GUESS Watch
Michael Kors Watch
Michael Kors Bracelet (Looks like huge diamonds but really crystals)
Michael Kors Ring
Diamond Ring with some swirls of blue diamonds.
FCUK Perfume.

I gave her a list of recommendations from 11-15 bucks, 15-40 bucks and one item of 80 bucks.

I'm also pretty into Watches so it's a safe bet to buy me a watch from my eBay list (eg)

>She got me:

Diesel cologne.

We never know the whole story. Maybe she didn't have the time or money lol.

>>16637467

all of those suggested gift items I listed were on amazing sales of more than 50 percent off!!!

the MK bracelet alone was 300 bucks!

oh well, I'm the one who fell for the consumer(ism) holiday when that's not what it's there for.

>>16637467
Jesus Christ, I couldn't accept those gifts if I was your girlfriend

>>16636204
I think you're both emotionally immature and learning how relationships work. At the moment you're more mature than her.

>>16637480

well they gifts for you would be tailor made so that you WOULD accept them.

Plus, there was a progression from previous xmases of singular items like watch or a necklace (and all the other stuff) here and there.

This time it just happened to be more like 4-5 big gifts and a few small ones.

Chill dude, I had this issue with my gf. Don't start with expensive standards in gift giving. Sentimentals are always far more appreciated than big splashouts. She was probably not sure what to do( or didn't have the time to as she's going away) herself and so just wrote the letter. Remember that time is the best gift.

>>16637522
No, I mean I couldn't accept such expensive gifts. At least, not if all I was giving in return was cologne. That's just not how I was raised

>>16636204
Gifts should be given freely, with no expectation. If you never talked to her about exchanging gifts you shouldn't have expected one.
Her letter made it clear she wasn't expecting one, which means she really appreciated it.

That means your gift was thoughtful and made her happy, which in theory should be the reason you gave it in the first place.

>>16637575
Yes, and i'm glad she liked it. I'm not complaining about the gift she gave me. It just made me think that maybe i'm doing something wrong and I should stop doing stuff like that.

Sometimes I just feel like giving her a letter, or some flowers, without any special reason. She doesn't do that and that's fine, but what I don't want is to make her feel uncomfortable or compromised, like what she did with the letters this time.

I guess I'll talk with her about this when she comes back. Thank you for your advice .

>>16637490
Thank you for your opinion. It's the first time we both have a more than 3-4 months relationship, so this is new for both of us.

I took her previous relationship as a reference point, since she told me that he used to give her a lot of cool stuff, even a dog with pedigree. And she also got her nice things like paying full $60 for a videogame. Of course i'm not like him, and while I like to give things because I want to, i'm not going to spend all my money on her.

Any advice to improve and be more mature? Like I said, this is new to me. My friends don't take me seriously since they never had a serious relationship and I have been just guessing what to do. I know I can make big mistakes, and maybe I made some already, so I want to learn and work on my weaknesses

>>16637490
"She also got him". I hate this cellphone.

>>16637531
Thank you :) I'm used to also give letters and all that "sentimental stuff" but like you say, maybe i'm screwing it up because of those standards. I will talk with her, and probably stop doing that because it seems that it's making her feel compromised or uncomfortable.