Just venting
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I don't know why I'm posting this here.
I live in an expensive city with my mother, I pay rent. We share an apartment where we have lived for 24 years. She has a decent job but the city is expensive so she doesn't have much in savings, and my parents divorced when I was little and she has no spouse.
I've been living with her to save money to move to another city for work, but her memory is starting to go already which is scary because she's only mid 60's. If I leave, she will wind up in some shitty low income retirement home, so I'd rather stay, and continue to split rent with her. If this is the case though that's basically my life for the next 30 years. I will have to give up on my career I already have a degree in and go back to school to become a dental hygienist or something. But to do that and pay the rent I will have to take out another round of student loans. Just feeling very desperate right now.
Don't punish yourself for the mistakes of your parents.
You need to do as much as you can without fucking yourself over. If she is getting senile as you claim she will at some point need professional help, so you will have to put her in a home despite how amazing you may think you can be at managing the mentally deranged.
>>16616813
do you have friends/a girlfriend/other family?
You shouldnt go through this alone, because taking care of your aging mother can be a big burden.
Why do you feel you have to get a different degree?
>>16616843
I'm going to be crucified for this...I went to a prestigious art program at a good university. If I stay in my city I am too far away from the industry to make a career of it.
I have friends. Haven't had a girlfriend in 4 years. Went bald in the last 9 months; girls 3 years younger than me think I'm ancient and girls my age are starting to get married. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself now but I'm terrified of this impending isolation closing in on multiple fronts. I can't let my mom be senile in a strange nursing home.
I should mention that my dad is pretty well off but none of his money will be going my mom's way.
Thanks for listening and replying.
>>16616865
breathe and relax. I assume you're 24 from saying youve been living there for 24 years? thats extremely young. I am about to start my life over from scratch at 26.
you take those friends, and you value the fuck out of those friendships. do not neglect them, no matter how granted they seem to be. try to meet even more friends through the friends you have right now. it turns out, if you show you care about people, at least some of them will care about you, too.
you may not know this yet, but you need emotional support from others to get through this.
do you think you could support your mother if you sold the apartment and went with her to go live somewhere where you can find a job?
getting a whole new degree, and even more debt, would be, I think, extremely stressful for someone in your situation
>>16616914
>sold the apartment
I'm 26. My friends are great but all very wealthy. I imagine we will soon have some real lifestyle differences.
And I wouldn't move my mom to the hellhole that is Los Angeles. There's no such thing as affordable housing there.
>>16616923
well, OP. in the end you have to realize that you have a life to live. If your mom can not take care of herself, you should not feel bad for having to let someone else take care of her. I know you love her, but like >>16616833
said, only do as much as you can without fucking yourself over.
When she starts getting to health point where taking care of her is starting to fuck you over, you need to stop and remember whats good for yourself.
>>16616813
Get her a trustworthy roommate.
I like video games. Why because they are either paradies or action movies of our times with principles and values that we hold dear.
Video games are the creators way of saying I want it this way and its us for the players to decide how we play the game.
Now with that said, if you want to read between the lines. You must free your mind and take the leap.
"I can only show you to the door. Its up to you to follow through neo."
>>16617017
rewatching matrix tonight desu
