I can understand it bother you. First of all I don't think it's a good idea demanding him to delete it. Him deleting it doesn't mean he doesn't still want to have it. Ask him why he has it in a non-confrontational manner and discuss it and if he would get rid of it because it bothers you. If he's not willing to delete it that does suggest that he at some level values her/her picture more than you. that being said you'd be smart to find someone who values you a bit more than that or stick with him and resent him at your expense.

but now if he deletes it after you've seen it, then you know he deletes things off his phone...

>>16608427
I wasn't necessarily considering demanding that he delete it, I just really have no idea why he wouldn't. I don't keep my ex's picture just sitting around on my phone...that would be weird to me.

I've never actually mentioned it to him past that first time, always just saw it and passed over it while we were looking through those pictures together. It's always just struck me as weird that it's always still there even now up to a year later.

I'll probably just have to ask him about it. It's just bizarre to me.

I have no perspective on anything but here it goes.

Even if you are no longer intimate with some one, it doesn't invalidate the feelings you felt, the memories you shared, or the idea that they made a significant impact on your life. If it was a photo of an old friend would it upset you? Probably not. Does it being of an ex change things? I guess, but still, if you aren't confident enough in your relationship for him to keep a picture of some one who was (presumably) important to him at some point in his life then there are bigger issues.

That being said I don't think it's weird that you'd be bothered about it. If it would make you feel better than you should talk to him about it. Just try not to turn it into a "JUST GET RID OF DA PICTURE OR ELSE U DONT LOVE ME" deal.

>>16608429
Everybody deletes things off their phone eventually. Doesn't bug me. I assume there were lots of worse pictures on there when they were actually together and I refuse to go snooping so...I have no way of knowing what he does or does not delete anyway except for when we look through it together.

>>16608435

honestly some people are fucking stupid. When I met my now wife I had a picture of a girl I was flirting with on my computer. She kept bringing it up and I didn't see what the big deal was. Now I guess I kind of understand how inconsiderate it was of me to have that picture at all.

>>16608444

I wasn't flirting with this girl while I was with my wife I might add. I was flirting with this girl just before I got with my wife.

>>16608438
Actually it wouldn't bug me at all if it weren't obviously a picture FOR him, not just a picture of someone. Nobody sends pictures showing off their cleavage to a good platonic friend. The only pictures I have of my exes are group photos with our old friends on my computer.

>>16608451

Are you assuming she sent this pic recently and before you guys got together? check a time stamp on the picture to see when it was recieved. That's important. He has no business getting those types of pictures from anyone while he's with you. That's my perspective.

>>16608456
I'm assuming it's an old photo, at the MOST recent when we were still dating but not official, so that's not what I'm worried about. It's just weird to me to still have a sexy photo of an ex sitting around on your phone and just casually pass over it every so often. It if were something casual and just a regular picture it wouldn't be that odd to me.

>>16608460

He might assume you see it as no big deal if he himself doesn't see it as a big deal. How would he react if the situation were reversed?

>>16608465
I have no idea honestly. I've never given him a chance to react to a situation like that, I don't keep that stuff around.

The only situation somewhat similar on my end is I still talk to one of my exes who is a very old friend but told him I'd be okay with him coming along if we were to ever meet up again when they were in town and even not see the ex at all if he didn't want me to, but he didn't really react at all. He doesn't seem to really want to acknowledge that I still casually talk to someone I used to date, so honestly it's weird that on his end he feels comfortable keeping those types of pictures around.

>>16608471

>I'd be okay with him coming along if we were to ever meet up again

I would find that insensitive.

My wife used to talk to her ex and I only accepted it because he basically paid her child support for her son. If it weren't for that I would not accept her and him talking at ALL.

Would you stop talking to your ex if your boyfriend told you to?

I'm just trying to guage how different you are from your boyfriend as far as insensitivity

>>16608485

Also I don't find you offering him to come along insensitive. I find it insensitive that you still talk to your ex at all.

>>16608485
Yeah, I would if he wanted me to, but that came up in a conversation long ago when he asked me if I was interested in seeing them in person. I said it would depend since they live far away now and only come back every so often and if he didn't want me to it's a moot point, and if it was the fact that we'd be alone that bothered him he could come along.

That particular ex and I were friends for about 7 years before we dated and it was a horrible relationship, he's more than aware that we talk mostly about nerdy shit and don't have anything going on. My bf is more important than my ex and if he indicated it made him uncomfortable, I'd cut it off. None of my other exes that don't have a history of longtime friendship even have my number anymore.

>>16608494

Alright so you would easily give up talking to your ex for your current boyfriend.

Do you assume your boyfriend would agree to delete it no problems if you told him to?

or is your main thing how could he possibly be so dumb as to have it in the first place? if that's the case I think you really need to ask him. I would think it's not a matter of why would he keep it, but a matter of why wouldn't he delete it?. He might have just not seen that big a problem with it or he might actually keep it as some suttle reminder of her or her body or something that maybe you don't want to see as a possibility.

>>16608494
Plus he still talks to one of his on FB, the one he considers his "biggest ex" and they were together twice as long as we have been, but she's married now and it's just casual conversations every so often. Idk how her husband feels about it but I don't mind anyone talking to anyone as long as it's not suspect.

>>16608501
I'd like to think he'd delete it if I asked him to but I get the feeling he'd try to figure out why I was so "jealous" first or tell me I'm being crazy.

I do also want to know why he'd possibly still have it. It's a problem if it's some reminder of her in a sexual way.

>>16608512

>It's a problem if it's some reminder of her in a sexual way.

if he told you there was nothing sexual about why he kept the picture would you believe him? is he the kind of guy that would find it sexual and keep it for that reason? or do you think he would tell you he doesn't find it sexual or anything but lie to your face? is that why you don't want to ask him?

Honestly, I have tons of pictures of my exes still on my phone and fb just because I never really care enough to go out of my way to delete them. I never look at them unless it's by accident, and I don't feel anything when I see them. They're just another picture on my hard drive. I wouldn't be upset if they were lost, but I don't care or think about it enough to go and delete them. They have no meaning to me.

It could be he was initially embarrassed because he wasn't sure if it was weird but now he knows you don't (didn't) care, it's just become another thing he doesn't care about.

>>16608520
That's slightly comforting to hear, I'm glad it's not just him. But honestly it doesn't seem like he has any other pictures except for tags on facebook except for this one, kind of racy, photo. If it were just her face or even them TOGETHER it wouldn't be weird to me. Idk if I still had a sexy shirtless (I guess that would be the male equivalent of a cleavage photo) photo of my ex on my phone that my current bf had to see all the time I'd probably feel too awkward to keep it around, I'd delete it ASAP.

>>16608518
I honestly have no idea. I do trust him, but it also does strike me as odd that it wouldn't be sexual or that he just didn't think about it. I guess it would depend on what he had to say about it.

It's not as if he's ever been at all shy about telling me what he finds to be sexual, we're not the type of couple to think porn preferences are even all that important to keep private. It would bother me if he told me it was a sexy photo and that's why he kept it, but I guess I'd appreciate the honesty.

OP

Fuck off and drop it.

You have insecurity issues.

>>16608538
Very possibly.