Okay /adv/ are you ready for some truly retarded stuff? My friends invited me to go to the strip club tonight and I'm kind of freaking out. The reason for this is because I actually really enjoy going to the strip club, I just have this sort of system. Basically I have to have at least $200 or so on me in singles and I have to have abstained from jerking off for a few days so I'm just horny as fuck the whole time I'm there. But this just got dropped on me, I don't have any money until I get paid next in a few days, and I fapped last night. So now I'd be going with no money to afford dances and I'm worried that even if one of my buddies buys me a dance I may not get rock hard from it. See, the main goal when I go to the strip club is to try to either get head or fuck one of the strippers, and without the prereqs the chances of that are pretty much zero. If everything was in order I could fucking drop like $150 on one of the girls and go into the back room for some real private time, but I can't. So because of that I'm freaking out. I don't want to bail on them because my friends aren't around very often, but I also don't know if I really want to go considering I worry I'll have a terrible time. Any advice?
don't go
>>16606608
Go and have a few beers with friends. Why you'd want to be rock hard around your friends is beyond me.
I've been to several clubs for business functions, and the women are more or less just scenery. A few singles to the girls that walk up to the table here and there, and you shouldn't be spending more than $20/hr.
>>16606621
That's kind of how I've been leaning on this, but we're going to see the new Star Wars first and I don't wanna miss out on seeing them. They're in the military and in the next two weeks they're all slowly shipping off to where they're stationed. I probably won't see them again until next Christmas or something. I gotta spend what time I can with them.
>>16606626
I hear ya. I don't drink personally, so what I end up doing when I go with no money is sitting around being bored and pissed I can't get any dances. When I go with money and such I get to sit back, scope the girls out, take my time, enjoy myself talking to my friends about the females, then pick one out and get a dance, maybe two if she's really good. By the time I've done all that it's usually around 1am or 2am and we all bail. I just feel like a fucking loser when I go without money because I'm kinda wasting the girls' time. Not only that but if I'm not horny af I'm not as good at being flirty.
>>16606608
Going to the club with my friends was a lot of fun because we got to hang out and talk with cute girls (often naked) and occasionally get private dances. All in all, had a good time. It wasn't weird or anything. We drank, smoked hookah, had fun. Haters gonna hate.
>>16606608
Kind of off topic but I'd like to know. How do I get more than just a dance from a stripper? How much does it cost usually? Do you go to a shady joint or just know who the whores are?
>>16606754
Well where I go the strippers pretty much said, "Hey, for $300 we'll fuck you in a hot tub." I think since they dropped their prices it's more like $150 or so but eh who knows, that's part of why I'm so bummed. I COULD AFFORD THAT IF WE WAITED LIKE THREE DAYS
I was not ready to hear about this truly retarded problem. I have to leave now.
>>16606608
Dude calm down
Save up your money and do it when the time is right
Stop over thinking and worrying about all the little nitpicks
>>16606847
That's probably my biggest problem in my life, I overthink and worry about too much shit that doesn't really matter that much.
>>16606762
Damn what kind of ratchet ass strippers would fuck you for 150 bucks? Where I go a hand job is a 100 bucks, nobody does bjs and sure as shit nobody fucks there.
bump
>>16606923
>nobody does bjs and sure as shit nobody fucks there
Well not to you anyway
>>16606608
Stfu OP you little insignificant pussy.some people are in way worse situations than you and your complaining because you can't afford a prostitute?other People can't afford food ffs just take some Viagra and go
>>16606626
>goes to strip clubs for business functions
what's it like working for the mafia, Tony?
>>16607011
I've been going regularly to my strip club for about two years. The bouncers know me on a first name basis and all the girls know me too. I'd know what they do and don't do
>>16606923
This
>>16606923
a whole hundred dollary-doos for a mere handjob seems way too much from a women of ill-repute. If I was gonna waste that money Id just get a girlfriend. The local club near me offers bj's for 100, and sex for 200 if you know the right girls. dont have the expendable cash to fuck but Ive gotten head a few times. I thought it was a reasonable price.
>>16607802
The club I go to has been busted a few times in the past for sex. So I think they're way stricter than they need to be.
>>16607827
That sucks. It's semi-legal where I am and cops dont care to enforce it often.
>>16607836
Yeah my city is a sex trafficking hub for the state so everyone is super uptight about it. Most of the escorts are fake and meant to get you busted. Shit sucks.
OP checking back in. I didn't go to the strip club but I did go see the new Star Wars. I asked them if they'd be willing to go again Tuesday and they seemed on board. Thanks to everyone who contributed.
>>16606608
pantyhose are fucking hot
>>16608258
They are, but why?
>>16608266
Those sweaty thick thighs wrapped around your face
>>16606626
>Why you'd want to be rock hard around your friends is beyond me
He's obviously a closet fag and wants one of his friends to see his raging boner so they can become sexually aroused by it and suck him off in the handicap stall.
>>16608278
