I present to you the series of events that lead up to me believing my girlfriend cheated on me. I want to know and outsiders thoughts on if she did or am I just thinking to much into. IF she did, what should I do from here?
Start:
>Went out for my Christmas work function.
>Sorted out to meet my GF and some other friends out to clubs for the night.
>Met up with them all and found an old friend out as well.
>My gf asks who the girl is and I tell her.
>Straight up, been friends with her for nearly 8 years.
>"okay then", she says..
>The night finishes with nothing much happening.
>But it was clear she had a problem with this girl.
Cont.
Cont.
>I addressed the whole friend thing.
>She was a little jealous.
>But I told her the girls story.
>Just friends, thats all, I dont see her often.
>"Okay then", she says...
>GF goes home, I have a nap to sleep off the hang over.
>Hours later I wake up to a msg from GF saying she is going to a friends house.
>Didint think anything off until my GF said she wasnt driving.
>GF always drive, unless she wants to drink.
>"Oh thats cool, are you going to drink tonight? :)" me...
>"Nah, just gonna hang" her
>"thats cool too, whos going to be there?" me
>"Just, Katie and John (Her couple friends)..." her
>"Ah yeah, well have fun, I got invited to a birthday thing, just going to go to that" Me
>"Oh and we are going to Tylers!"
>Tyler was the guy she was dating before me.
>Naturally I was worried, but I shrugged it off.
>Hours pass and she is sending me snapchat after snap chat.
>I try to start a convo, she is too busy.
>I say okay and just focus on my night.
>Her snapchats start showing she is drinking.
>calledit.jpg
>I get home and msg her goodnight, she see's and doesn't respond.
>Get a msg after I go to sleep.
>wake up around 3am to a mass of texts from Katie.
>"YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR GF NOW SHE IS VERY UPSET!!"
>I msg her and she starts flipping out about not knowing where I was etc
>I am confused af
>Smooth it over and decide to talk about it the next day
Cont.
Cont.
>Day 3.
>I wake up to a text from GF, saying sorry.
>I offer for her to come to the beach that day
>Asks whos going, 12 other ppl annnd that old friend.
>Instantly flips out.
>Says sorry, says I can go hang out with friends if I want.
>dangerDANGER.gif
>I go, spend the entire trip arguing with her, trying to find out what her problem is.
>She says if I want to talk, I have to go to her place.
>Travel ages to get back to hers.
>She bursts into tears as soon as I get there.
>Says shes been drinking all day.
>I calm her down and talk to her.
>She tells me she is jealous of old friend.
>I talk to her about it for quite some time, assure her its fine and I only want to date her.
>GF is calm and accepting of this.
>I then say, what about Tyler?
>Tell her that hanging out with Tyler is unfair on me, if she acts like this about my old friend.
>Say, I never had feelings for my old friend, but her and this Tyler guy DATED.
>She asks me what she has to do for me to trust her.
>Ask her to hang out with Tyler less and i'll hang out with my old friend less.
>Simple compromise.
>She accepts really quick.
>Sends me a msg, even though we are sitting in the same bed.
>"I was scared i'm going to lose you, because i'm in love with you."
>I just say, "you too babe" and hug her.
Cont.
Cont.
>Several days go by and GF tells me what happened that night, she went out with Tyler Katie and John.
>They went to Tylers to just hang out.
>Then Katie convinced GF to start drinking after they got to Tylers.
>After they got pretty tipsy, they decided to go to a bar.
>There Tyler hit on her loads of times and then asked how her and I were going.
>She said amazing and he just ignored her the whole night.
>End.
>I say fair enough and move on.
>After that...things started to get weird...
>Suddenly she was getting mad at little things.
>Literally creating problems out of nothing.
>This built up over 3 weeks, everyday a new problem.
>Went from having sex multiple times a day, to luck if it was once a week.
>I confronted her about all the issues that were going on lately.
>She says she is sorry she's been putting so much on my lately.
>Says its her, she doesn't know how to react in a long term relationship.
>And she thought we were going to break up.
>WTF.webm
>Obviously I wasn't.
>Shrug it off best I can and work things out, or so I thought.
>Suddenly we start having sex again.
>But only on her terms and she tries to get me drunk beforehand all the time.
>Is shy around me when getting changed or taking cloths off.
>Anything sexual, done in the dark.
>Really shut off now in general.
>Cant have conversations with her about things anymore.
>Suddenly hates my habits.
>Complains about money all the time.
>All these things suddenly.
Cont.
Last one.
So here I am. I think my GF cheated and I think it was with that Tyler guy. That night.
I don't know how I can find out the truth.
I don't know what I should do about this.
GF still wants to be together apparently.
Offers to do and pay for shit for me all the time now. "Money is not a problem, what ever you want, i'll buy".
tldr /adv/ I think my GF cheated, how do I find out? What do?
>5 posts of complete bullshit
Jesus fuck
Just fucking talk to her about it. Letting it strew is just going to make it worse. And its god damn apparant you're letting this shit stew HARD. Where are your damn values?
>>16602720
Guess I feel like if I ask her straight out, she will lie or think I cheated.
The cheating isn't so much the issue, the issue is that you're dating a 16 year old. She has some pretty obvious trust/maturity problems.
>>16602736
I tried to explain it the best I could.
I draw the maturity problems from the fact that im her 'first' serious relationship.
>>16602729
Who cares what she says? I haven't read all your bullshit. You will know if she has cheated or not by her body language. However, the relationship is over at this point. If you're right it's over and if you're wrong you've shown that your a sorry excuse for a human being.
If you don't trust her break up with her.
>>16602738
That's bullshit and you should know it. Don't give her excuses to treat you like shit.
>>16602679
Fuck I cannot believe I read this shit.
First you knew she had a problem with your friend so you should have cooled it until your gf got to know the friend better. Because you didn't she went out and revenge fucked Tyler. She will never admit it and hopes it goes away and the harder you push the more she will feel justified. You have two choices. End the relationship now and end the drama or shut up and patiently wait till someone other than your gf confirms your suspicion or she fucks Tyler again and you find out because she doesn't care enough to cover as well.
>>16602739
I see what you are saying at the start.
But how does this make me "a sorry excuse for a human being"?
Because we were fine before this incident? And after this incident everything changed?
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me. The reactions to things. Her attitude...
>>16602745
Pretty spot on with this. I just trusted her when she said she didnt have a problem with the friend. Silly me for trusting what she says to begin with, right?
Anon, do you trust your girlfriend? Clearly the answer is no. If you don't trust your girlfriend, why is she your girlfriend? She's treating you like shit and acting cagey. Ask her straight out or gtfo.
>>16602750
>Hey are you cheating on me?
Let's assume the honest answer is no.
Why would you be asking this question if you thought the answer was no?
You show to her that you're a person with trust issues, and the fact is that you'd likely still think the answer was yes if you ask this question (regardless of what she said). The answer to the question is irrelevant to your decision on leaving her and if she actually hasn't cheated on you what on earth do you think being asked something like this means to a partner? The point is that once you've gone knee-deep in questioning loyalty you no longer have any trust left for your partner.
If you know that she cheated on you, break up. If you're "sure" that she cheated on you, break up. If you feel that she cheated on you, break up. In fact, break up for any reason you want. However, keep in mind that if you think someone is cheating that primarily starts with you not trusting your partner.
>>16602679
>big argument with gf and she leaves pissed
>hard time finding where she went but finally know it is at her cousins in adjacent town
>ride over see her at her cousins next morning and cousin reluctantly lets me in but rolls her eyes as we both apologize for the fight and go home
>acting weird, really weird so ask what when down, she says nothing just went out to hear a local band, got high went back to cousins and cried herself to sleep
>weirdness continues for a week till both of us see her cousin and cousin mentions X was asking about her, I ask who's X in front of cousin who looks guilty as fuck and gf gets really defensive saying he was just the singer for the band they saw and smoked a little with him after his set.
>WTF, if that was all then why didn't she say before. Her cousins bf quietly taking it all in blows it all up when he said bullshit, bitch went home with the dude and I had to go pick her up at 3 am and she smelt like pot and cum
>>16602766
Thanks, this is really constructive.
Thats it though, as soon as I ask those words. It becomes real and I have to deal with the consequences of not trusting her if she says no.
And I do think she would say no either way. Who would admit to cheating if they still wanted to be with someone?
>>16602770
That sucks man. Feels so similar. Clearly you broke up with her? I think the feeling of think someone cheated is quite possibly worse than knowing if they did. I mean at least you know then. Not knowing just makes you feel like an ass for even thinking it.
Her friends wont rat on her though.
>>16602773
don't take all the blame for lack of trust OP. Your gf is acting suspicious
>>16602778
I did and you are right. Knowing for certain I had to accept it and able to ignore her pleas it was an accident or mistake and it would never happen again and I should take responsibility because we quarreled. Bottom line, opportunity met desire and she balled the guy. Not knowing allows you to delude yourself and ignore signs and poorly crafted lies.
>>16602779
Ah thanks. That's what sparked me thinking of it all. She IS acting suss, about something. And after all this happening, it just seems like the logical conclusion... Right? What else could it be?
>>16602783
>What else could it be?
Nothing else
>>16602745
Yea, I read the whole thing and semi-agree.
But first of all, I think the whole jealousy of the old friend is idiotic and immature on her part. Despite all the times you reassured her, she was still a severe cunt about it. Even after you reassured her, she *still* went out with her ex. So if she did "revenge" fuck him, there was nothing even to get revenge upon except for her own irrational feelings.
I don't know what her weird behavior is saying now. It could be a number of things. It's obviously something is off. It's possible that she very much thinks like you. She thinks you cheated on her with old friend, so she is getting distant and insecure. It's possible that she is overrun with guilt for hooking up with her ex when she is mad at you.
Regardless, I don't think her attitude will end. What I do know, is that her behavior is reflecting a negative thought, and she is trying to provoke you or test you. She's totally immature, dude. And what sucks is, if you break it off now, she'll likely have a word-twisting melt down and it will allow her to confirm in some fucked up way that you cheated on her. She's literally burning her own bridges.
>>16602745
I don't think I've ever met a woman that hasn't revenged fucked and sometimes for the tiniest of infractions.
Been the dude they fucked nearly 2 dozen times
>>16602791
All reasons I want to find out for sure before I proceed with anything.
>>16602794
"Tiniest of in fractions"
>mfw she lost her shit about me not wanting to go to Subway for breakfast.
>Claims that we never do anything she wants to do.
>This was 2 weeks ago when the fighting was the worst.
>>16602766
Are you literally this much of a cuck?
>if your partner is 100% suspicious and changes overnight YOU'RE the one with problems if you suspect them
OP ignore this faggot, your gf is showing some HUGE red flags. I was in roughly the same position as you and got cheated on(only difference is it was a new guy 'friend' vs an ex)
She clearly did something with him and feels guilty about it. She did it out of pure spite and if something like this were to happen again, she'll cheat again. You can try to talk the information out of her for closure but I'd just drop the entire relationship. If this is how she handles her issues she's not ready for anything long term. Please use your brain and don't be a sucker OP.
>>16602804
This. Yeah she is, red flags all over the place. I KNOW there is something under all these issues, whether its something else, or she actually did do something with this guy. I need to find out for sure some how before I go off half-cocked.
>>16602811
I feel this too. Like why wait 'till nearly a week later to tell me about the events of that night? She brought it up herself and the whole thing felt forced. I feel like she deffs did something with him. But again, some sort of proof would be nice.
>>16602818
Just drop it man, my ex denied it up and down for days the only way I found out was via tracking her phone. She had gone from being normal sleep schedule to suddenly taking "naps" throughout the day. She would be texting me/talking to me and suddenly vanish and hours later I would get a text "gdgdffdanon" "sorry I just woke up from a nap!"
I knew it was bullshit so one day when she vanished and I knew she was "napping" I tracked her phone via gps to some house somewhere.
Knowing the truth doesn't really give you closure or make you feel better. It DOES however prevent them from painting you as the bad guy with "h-h-he left me with no proof! What a jerk! He pushed me into Tyler's arms!!!"
>>16602818
dammit OP, isn't being a bitch to you for weeks enough to have enough. Forget about the fucking Tyler shit a minute she's a bitch.
Look, you're trying to salvage your ego here hoping she didn't fuck the guy. All she did was wait for a reason and without one manufactured one. You've known all along she was one little tiff away and she'd be on him
>>16602818
If your gut feeling says she cheated, that's proof enough. Don't look for proof or closure. Just say something like "You've been acting strange since X and I don't feel like I can trust you anymore. I'm ending the relationship."
>>16602722
Shitpost
