Without fail, whenever someone has a crazy gf/bf, they are also crazy or broken in some crucial way that makes them unappealing to and repulsed by normative partners.

>>16600321
you're a betacuck

if it matters:

-this period of time was less than 8 months
-when i brought this up yesterday she said she doesn't even want to do cocaine anymore
-she gets upset thinking i'll never get over this and that dwelling on it will ruin us both

how do i get over/accept this?

i'm down with lsd/mushrooms/mdma/general psychedelics, with intent of improving myself..not cocaine which helps nothing..

we do psys but the fact that she stooped to the bad side of drugs make me sad, maybe worries me, makes me feel like she's gone so deep at one period of time...

She changed because she wanted to, and if she ever goes back to drugs and that shitbag its because she wants to. You have to let her live her own life, and unfortunately you made yourself a part of it. All you can do is let her know how it makes you feel.

>>16600331
you're a betacuck

>>16600324

she is much better but struggled with an eating disorder several years ago, so there's that.

my struggle is i basically live with her..don't want to leave her because i've never felt this way towards someone before...

but am unsure what to do :(

>>16600332
>>16600332

i've let her know. she hates when i get upset with her over doing some of the things she once did.

the past 3 days this has heavily been on my mind...

this girl and i fit so well together but having trouble getting over the past, a past i would have never came close to....

>>16600331
There is no "bad side of drugs." Cocaine can be fun and enlightening if you use it with the intent to gain new experience. I think you need to realize that cocaine isn't any different than any other drug, but that your gf was unlucky enough to have gotten caught up with some toxic people. Everyone has skeletons in their closet OP, you just need to accept that and know that there is nothing you can do to change the past. Honestly, you should be grateful that she had those experiences because they brought her to you.

You can try to accept it, or you could try to find someone new who never had anything bad or upsetting happen to them.
You feel bad because someone you care about was hurt. That's pretty normal.

>>16600462
This guy seems like he knows what he's talking about op. Remember, drugs = fun

>>16600462
Bill Hicks go home.

>>16600462
>>16600462
>>16600462

i'm with you now.
but - what happens when you use 3-4 times a week? weed is one thing. but cocaine does so much worse for you.. it's this that is upsetting to me. though a friend IRL told me that people diseased with addiction don't choose it. i suppose it makes sense her past and why she did some of the things she did...

she's not toxic now, she's really great. really.. but i feel like a year ago i would not have gotten close to getting involved with her or the people she was involved with...

maybe i partly worry the impacts of past usage?

idk

trying to find peace of mind and get over some of my first inclinations come this stuff, trying to learn from all of this

>>16600462

You're kidding right? I could see saying maybe that there could be a good side to drugs, but there's no bad side? You're not thinking very clearly about this.

bumping because still worried about cocaine and the perceivable permanent effects it may have had...?

I still had my life together when i was doing cocaine 3 times a week.

??????
The entire point is that she's changed and wants to be better. You're making unnecessary problems.

>>16600571
Doing hard drugs over a long span of time can have negative effects on the brain, but for it to be noticeable and to carry on for more than a year it's gotta be heavy use on a daily basis. Chances are whatever damage she did to her brain has been repaired almost completely. There may be some lingering emotional issues but with time she will learn from the mistakes she made and she will likely come out being more mature and well rounded. I'm a former opiate addict and I can say with extreme confidence that my experiences with addiction have made me a better person today. I have learned a great deal about myself since getting clean (little over a year agi now), and I have no regrets regarding my drug abuse. Like I said OP, you should be grateful that she did what she did, because it led her to you and helped make her who she is today.

>>16600573
I'm not saying there is NO bad side to drugs, I'm merely saying that drugs are not inherently bad. Yes they can be abused and can make people do bad things, but that fault lies on the user, not the drug.

>>16600321
a girl that is in with a cocaine dealer in anyway doesnt have a choice really. girl wont have to pay for cocaine and whos going to turn down free cocaine? you ever thought about maybe trying to a drug with her? not necessarily cocaine but something like LSD? I done that with my now girlfriend and as soon as it happened it just made everything perfect and creates such a stronger bond, might also make you see things from her point of view !

>>16601398
>>16601398


we have eaten mushies once, L about 5 times, rolled once, ketamine 2-3 times.

we are very close and have an amazing bond - i don't know what gets in my head sometimes :(

during her use she was dealing with a lot of self-hate, low self-esteem, and an abusive boyfriend... so i suppose some of it all just makes sense, but it doesn't change that things were somewhat willing..

working my best on changing my thinking

>>16601287

thank you greatly for this post my friend.
it has me feeling better.

we're both young and i suppose all that worried me.
i do have to ask...

lastnight we talked about this some and she told me honestly didn't want to do cocaine, that she doesn't really miss it or think about it...

NOW, when we started dating and i had made clear to her that i wouldn't get involved with her may the cocaine still be involved - that she told me she still thought about it very frequently.

have only read some on addiction, but do you think this is legitimate that she has truly moved on?

we talk a lot about moving forwards in life, getting better, healthier, happier, moving onwards..so could it be true? (just unsure about how bad coke gets into your reward system and cravings)

>>16601544
You're welcome, I'm glad I can help.

Honestly, when I got clean it took me literally 10 seconds to know 100% that I'd never do opiates again. My circumstances were likely much different than your gfs, but the second I came clean to my family about my drug abuse was the second I knew I would never go back to using. This can differ greatly from person to person, and It's quite rare that addicts experience getting clean the way I did, but given the fact that her use was not that frequent and didn't go on for a long period of time, I'd say it's safe to trust her on this one. Unless she gives you any reason to doubt her, I'd believe her when she says she doesn't have any desire to use again. Sure the thought may cross her mind on occasion still, but it sounds like she's good at keeping thoughts from turning to cravings, which is one of the best skills one can have when getting clean. Like I said OP, trust her until she gives you reason not to.

>>16600321
>3 times a week.
lol that's adorable.

OP, people do change. Not all of them. But some do.

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 5 years. When we started dating, we did a lot of drugs. We stole. We fucked off and contributed nothing to society.

Now, my girlfriend is a Chemical Engineering major and I'm a teacher. We rarely even drink or smoke pot.

>>16601544
I wouldn't worry about it that much, bro.
I used to do a lot of MDMA. I craved it all the time after I stopped. And when I stopped craving it, I felt like I could never have fun without it.

But that never meant I wanted to do it. Because I learned my lesson. I knew what it would lead to and I knew that it wouldn't be worth it.