Hi...I was diagnosed with bipolar but some things I have add up with schyzophrenia...I never thought this before my friend pointed it out about some symptoms I described. These symptoms are not ones that I have ever discussed with my doctor. I've only told my doctor about my mood swing patterns and how they affect my behaviour also how feeling is so intense I can barely handle it sometimes. So...I've always thought people can read my mind; I would walk down streets having full conversations with people from mind to mind telling them to get out that I know they are spies and want to hurt me. I would run home everyday because I thought people were out to get me, they'll take my phone and then not even want to rape me because I'm ugly so to be safe they'll just kill me. People are following me. Now my main delusion...well everyone says its a delusion but I can't not believe it is spirits. I'm scared all the time, I can't live my life I'm scared the spirits want to hurt me. I see things, it's like everything I look at moves up down right left and then into place. Nothing ever looks real...I see dragons then eventually after looking at it for 3 minutes it will be a bush again. People everywhere but they always end up being objects. Always feel like I'm being followed, I'm terrified of being alone in my house I know someone is there. I used to run from room to room checking again and again and again terrified. I do have this voice in my head there's one that is me talking but the other is actually always talking to me telling me what to do...I guess it's helpful in the kitchen because it seems to know just how to spice stuff but sometimes it insults me too. Sometimes it's like there's someone stuck inside of me...the other week they spoke to me and said ' I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You're an awful person. I hate you. I hate being stuck inside of you. I hate being stuck with you. ' it's like they're trying to get out. I also have extreme highs and extreme lows
>>16587477
Sometimes I'm in a room and the room suddenly gets completely brighter but actually it's the same lighting then it feels like an angel entered my body and I feel complete euphoria. This is all without drugs. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't tell if it's real it feels real to me but everyone tells me not...the other day I saw a huge shadow man he towered over me then sat beneath me trying to read my mind I had to sit there for 10 minutes while he stayed repeating you can't read me you can't read me you can't read me until the demon was gone. I'm scared. Please help. I still have a boyfriend and a job but being inside my head is so exhausting I don't want to leave my house to go to work. Being inside my head is already a big job. I feel like I'm normal but then I look back and realise maybe not but I don't think I need help but all the time I'm crying desperate and hurting so maybe I do. Can you give your advice on if you think there might be more to it than the bipolar?
Bump. Can just one person maybe give me an idea of what's wrong
You need to tell your doctor and seek help.
>>16587723
Is it normal and I'm just being dramatic though or is this really something I should tell them? I get these points where I break down then ignore it till this happens again kidding myself every time that I'm normal and can survive
>>16587477
The thing about mental disorders... is you never know you have them. You need to tell your doctor what is going on and tell them everything. There is medication that can help you. Don't be stupid and get off your medication ever though. That's how you cause a drop into a worse situation.
>>16587477
this really, really sounds deeper rooted than physical. i've seen shadow people before myself and the way you describe things makes me think it's not just your brain. i'd side with you before everyone saying every part of it is imaginary. i by no means can consult you on this but i know simon parkes can. i've talked to him before and he's a great guy with a strong intuition and background. he's very kind as well, and if you can't afford a consultation and don't have a job (which are priced only for him to make a modest living) then he'll waive the fee. i don't know if he's accepting services for a while, but that's because it's run of the mill stuff. i can't help but imagine if you emailed him what's going on, he'd make the time to fit you in and help. just google him and you can find his website, read what he's about and listen to some interviews he's done. his email is simonparkes7 at gmail dot com
>>16587477
Some people with bipolar do have psychotic symptoms. It might also be schizoaffective disorder, which tends to have features of mild schizophrenia combined with bipolar. The main difference as I understand it is that schizoaffectives have psychotic symptoms even when they're not depressed or manic; whereas if you have bipolar with psychotic features, you will only have symptoms of psychosis at the same time as mood disturbance from the bipolar.
Either way, treatment is pretty similar; you would just add a low dose of an antipsychotic, and you might need to change other meds depending on the side effects of the antipsychotic. Most antipsychotics will make you tired as fuck and some of them are very expensive. Be specific about your financial and health insurance situation and lean on your docs to give you affordable and livable options.
Definitely definitely talk to your doctor about this. If you're not seeing a psychiatrist for med management, start seeing one now unless you really REALLY trust your current doctor. Psych meds are a whole different world, and it's best to have a shrink or psychiatric nurse manage your meds rather than a GP.
Also if you start new meds, especially antipsychotics, and you are working or going to school, give your boss/professors a heads up and let them know you have a health condition - you don't have to go into detail about what it is - and that you are trying out some meds but they may make you tired. That way if your performance starts to tank, they might be more willing to work with you on it instead of just firing/flunking you.
Good luck OP, psychosis is terrifying. I hope you find some good help.
>>16587731
No, I'm sorry but it isn't normal to mistake inanimate objects for people all the time, the strong paranoia and the second voice isn't normal. Don't let your mind brush it off. Tell your friend to help you not bush it off and to get help.
Personally I perfer psychologists to Therapists. A psycholist will listen to your problems, a therapist just prescribes drugs.
>>16587747
Actually you *can* know you have them, but it's hard to know the exact dimensions of it and how to cope with it when you're in it. But a lot of people with mental illness can tell there's something wrong, even if they're not sure exactly what.
But I'll grant that if you're experiencing psychotic symptoms and you're not both a) familiar with them and b) able to do reality checks to test against your beliefs and sensory experiences, then yes, you're going to have a hard time telling if you're psychotic or not.
They need to seek help from a doctor first. Before doing anything OP needs to be properly medicated. Because then hallucinations and paranormal experiences are properly defined by which is which.
>>16587809
to each his own, i'm not here to argue. i personally choose to take spiritual routes before physical, but if it's something spiritual, getting put on medication that will probably lessen the symptoms wouldn't stop someone with a spiritual background from finding and addressing the root cause - if it is spiritual
