I think I have severe performance anxiety when it comes to sex.
I've hooked up with several girls, all of whom I found attractive, and I could never get an erection. I was technically a virgin until the last time I hooked up, where I basically fucked her with a half-chub.
I know that it's a mental issue, and not an alcohol or a health issue. I know that all I have to do is calm the fuck down and do it, but for some reason, there's a mental block when it comes down to it. I get really nervous and I think I psych myself out every time I daydream about having sex with a girl, basically imagining another negative outcome rather than something intimate and fun.
I've never been abused, and I've quit porn recently, though I guess my mind still needs time to rewire itself to physical intimacy rather than what's behind a screen.
I want to fix this really badly, because the current girl I'm with, I actually care a lot about, and I don't want my sexual inexperience to be the reason why I lose yet another girl.
Bump because good God, this is fuckin me up
You lead the pace, take charge, kiss when you need more stiffness, and lots and lots and lots of weed, alcohol and methamphetamine. Good luck son.
Try to start viewing sex as something 'fun', not serious. Communicate a lot too. Also, maybe more foreplay? I had the same issue at first and lots of 'warming up' and teasing really gave me time to switch gears. Going from daily life to fucking is something I can't do without easing into the mood.
Still, it'll take some time but know you aren't alone with this issue.
>>16580193
I kinda agree. Alcohol can be tricky since you can get whiskey dick but a good drink will relax you. Amphetamines and weed are absolutely insane though.
tell girl
make clear that you're super attracted to her
try sex all the time even if you both know it's gonna flop after a while
after you bang like 100 times you'll probably stop worrying
just enjoy it in the moment don't overthink it
I know how it is OP, I too have been in the same situation multiple times.
The one thing that I have found that works is that I have to have a verbal connection with the person. We have to be able to talk well and have a good conversation. It might take a few days or weeks, but after that, it's all gravy. Never had a problem after talking to someone for at least a week. One night stands, on the other hand, those were a nightmare and often bring back very awkward feelings.
She came over again today, and I tried slowing my breathing and chilling out and focusing on her in front of me, and still nothing.
What the shit.
When girls aren't loyal and do not understand and help me and treat me like a fucktoy, I am not aroused. When treated normal and if I like her, I can get super hard no prob
Protip: Read the Multi-Orgasmic man. Google the pdf, it changed my life. it's sex secrets every man should know.
Basically, when you ejaculate you lose 50% of your sexual energy. Two times within a short period of time and that's 100%.
So what you have to do is not ejaculate for as long as you possibly can, and right before you fuck a girl, go in the bathroom and jack off. In five-ten minutes, you'll be able to get hard again and you'll be in a refresh period where you can last as long as you want. This is where I feel most sexually confident, right after cumming but still having enough sexual energy to get hard easily.
just avoid ejaculating too much. Only jack off if you have too much sexual energy to handle (I jack off if I get precum just cuddling with my gf.)
trust me dude, just ejaculate less, and learn about your sexual energy. Get out of your head and into your body. Try to pinpoint where your sexual energy is during sex. Think of it as a 1-10 scale. 1 is not turned on at all, 10 is about to cum and you can't stop it. Try to keep it at a seven. Take long deep breaths and hold them for a few seconds before releasing them.
But if you have too much or too little sexual energy, you will either cum immediately or not be able to get hard. learn about your body and you will be a sex god. always make your girl cum before you even think about sticking your dick in her, this takes off a lot of anxiety.
Good luck man
>>16581804
sorry forgot to add to not do the jack off trick if you are low on sexual energy, you won't be able to get hard for a few hours.
If you are too low on sexual energy to cum, it's perfectly okay to say "I just want to focus on you tonight" and eat your girl's pussy for a long time then lubricate her really well with some spit or coconut oil and rub up and down her puss until she cums.
Always use tons of lubrication when making a girl cum.
Just don't over-think it, don't think at all. just let it go.
but seriously, read the multi-orgasmic man. google the pdf. just reading a few pages of that book gave me tons of sexual confidence and knowledge.
There's a perfect point of sexual confidence every man can reach if you know your energy level. For me, in my twenties, if I wait four days without cumming, then cum right before sex, I stay rock hard and can last for an hour.
>>16581814
God bless
I've been wondering how to approach the issue of masturbating regularly or not at all. If it means that I was going to have good sex regularly, I was willing to quit entirely. I'll read the book. I think you're entirely correct about being in my head too much.
