Hello /adv/
I used to watch a lot of porn and fap at least twice a day (4 times a day in the weekend).
After I failed to keep it hard when going for my first sex experience, I realized I may have been addicted to porn and desensitized. I have reduced my fapping to once a week. But now I feel my sex drive is pretty low, I get some erections, but I can't get really excited when I flirt with a woman, I only get a semi. Is it normal? Am I being too nervous about it? Should I try to go to prostitutes to ease my apprehension?
Also, since I reduced my fapping frequency, I noticed my dick leaks a good amount of precum when I'm aroused (the inside of my briefs look like a snail took a stroll on them). Is it normal?
Help pls
Bump
Halp
I'm no expert, I feel like I'm borderline porn addicted myself. Trying to cut it out as well.
Basically, you're brain is desensitized and needs time to readjust. Give it a bit of time and you will get turned on by minor stuff you didn't before.
Another thing is that looking at porn constantly and then getting a hardon in reaction to that is not your sex drive.
Your sex drive is a constant baseline. If it gets satisfied (or in your case glutted with too much) you won't notice it. But if it doesn't you'll end up getting distracted by the merest hint of a woman.
>>16571742
What kind of signs should I be looking for to know when I'm cured?
Do you get a hardon when you see a hot girl on the street for example?
Are prostitutes going to help? I'm legitimately scared of working all my way with a gf only to find out I don't feel anything special about sex and she just leaves me for that.
How about this precum leaking? Sometimes I get lazy with the washing machine and I have to go commando, a precum stain on my crotch sure won't look too good...
I use to fap like 7 times a week (some days 2 times, other days not any). it happened to me in my first time (age 22), i had to go out and take some air, she had a lot of struggle trying to put the condom because when she began to put me the condom my d started to go soft, so i had to walk a little, take some breath and go back with her, we started to make out a little and then I had it hard again, we wasted not time and I put it myself quick and go in because i fear i lost the erection again. I talked with other friends and it is normal. the other times i didn't had any proble, but the thing was: it took me like 30mins to 2hrs to cum, that is for me the real problem, it may be because of the tons of porn that i have watched, so, yeah~
>>16571770
Thanks for sharing your experience. I didn't try the "get outside and breathe approach", I don't know if it'll work for me.
Anyone can provide answers to the questions I posted above?
>>16571752
>Do you get a hardon when you see a hot girl on the street for example?
Fuck no. I get a hardon when I'm daydreaming at work about brushing up against the office qt or if a girl sits on my lap.
That's appropriate. Sometimes I'll get a chubby if I see an attractive woman or a certain movement.
>Are prostitutes going to help?
I've no idea, but a gf is a good person to lose your virginity with. A LOT OF COUPLES have virgin men and not-virgin women.
A gf will teach you how to have sex with a gf. A prostitute will teach you how to fuck a prostitute.
A gf will have foreplay, which works to put you at ease as well. A prostitute will have a timeframe.
Wash your fucking clothes. Precum might stop, I dunno. Wash your fucking clothes. Can't get a gf with dirty clothes.
>>16571770
>may be because of the tons of porn that i have watched, so, yeah~
I think your dick's used to the strong grip of your hand.
>>16571911
Ok, so what would be a good sign I'm cured of porn?
I still watch porn to fap once a week. Actually I watch it more often than that, but most of the time I don't feel like fapping.
Should I cut out on porn completely?
>>16571928
Watching porn and not fapping is bad news. It means you're definitely desensitized.
And you can't be cured of porn- if you think you're addicted, you probably are and people don't lose addictions to substances/acts they just cut that out.
I'm not an expert, just a borderline oldfag but my metric is:
If I wake up horny in the morning and I try to fap but can't do it without porn- that means I'm addicted to porn and need to stop.
I try to maintain the ability to jerk off to my imagination. Fapping once a week to porn might be alright, but fapping once to porn and once to nothing is better.
"Nofap" is a big thing on the net, you can find plenty of people rabitting on about why it's the greatest or not so great etc.
>>16571604
Yes, precum is normal anf healthy it is natures lube.
>>16571981
I just don't know who to think about if I fap with just my imagination. But I agree with you, it sounds like it could help.
Do you have any advice on that?
Also thanks everyone for the replies so far. I've already turned down girls because of this and my apprehension.
I think I'm beginning to like another girl and I think she likes me back (I don't know to which extent) but this is stressing me as I don't want to talk about this with her and it will certainly have an impact on my relationship once I get a gf
>>16571604
fap more frequently than once per week.
don't watch porn, just use your imagination.
>>16571989
>just use your imagination
I used to fap with just my imagination, I would think of the girl I had a crush on.
Thing is I haven't had any crush for a long time and I don't know what to think about.
Any idea?
Also, bump.
>>16572031
she doesn't have to even exist... just imagine some vague qt female or past crush, or make her up
>>16572035
Shit, I'm finally going to have my own waifu then?
Lots of weird advice in this thread. Here's my take, hope it helps:
Watching porn and fapping often is OK. We are sexual creatures, some more than others.
The reason why a lot of guys have difficulty fucking real girls in real life after being into porn is this- their sex life does not match their fantasy life. Most girls are not as skilled or explorative as porn star girls. Most girls haven't been taught how to have active intercourse. Most girls kind of lie there and expect you to do the work, or at the very least just bounce up and down.
If you watch a lot of porn, that means you like porn-style sex. You have to take advantage of a woman and her body when you fuck her. She's going to have to 'entertain' you during the experience- that means teasing, dirty talk, acrobatic positions, aggressive blowjobs, breaking her comfort zone (yours too), and being overall visually stimulating.
In exchange, you're going to have to step your sex game up too. You have to learn how to make a woman have multiple orgasms by stimulating her ENTIRE body.
TLDR; Nothing's wrong if you like porn, you just have to have porn-style sex. It's honesty a win-win situation if you ask me.
Sheeeeeeiit!!!! 2 times a day is an addiction? Fuck Dr. Phil would call me a lost cause...
>>16572147
Not all porn is the same.... OP could be into that machine shit. Or have some inanimate object fetish.
>>16572156
Well then OP needs to fuck a girl with a machine or inanimate object.
I know it's not 'conventional', but people have their preferences. There are plenty of girls willing to do odd sexual shit, you just have to be upfront with them. If guys display confidence in what they do and like, girls will follow suit.
>>16572147
OP here.
Thing I'm not exactly a porn actor myself.
I'm very self-conscious about my body (already lost about 10kg, still maybe 5 to go).
Last time I wasn't able to keep hard and blow job felt like shit.
Also the girls I can pull are not looking like pornstars.
I do think this porn desensitization is true. I just don't know really how to escape it. Fapping to my imagination sounds a good idea, I just don't have anyone to fantasize about (I have some doubts on the waifu thing).
>>16572507
The deeper problem has nothing to do with porn or fapping. It's your self confidence. Of course you're going to have sexual problems when you feel inadequate during sex. You're going to have to fake it till you make it- meaning you have to have a winner's mentality when before and during sex. If you're chubby, own it. If the girl isn't attractive, tell her she is a sexy whore, she'll act accordingly. Sex is what you make of it, and it sounds to me like you have been having sex passively.
Study porn as you watch it, pick a dude that is good at fucking. My dude is Manuel Ferrara. I make it a goal of mine to fuck chicks just like he does, and so far women keep coming back to me.
Act as if, bro. Not fapping is not natural.
