Found out my girlfriend has a Tinder she's kept from me and I'm about to confront her about it. It says in her bio that she wants to just make friends with people. Should I ask to see her messages? is that too invasive?
>>16566554
She said she "just wants friends" in her profile to give her plausible deniability. Nobody puts "here to cheat on my boyfriend" there.
If you ask to see her messages and she says no, what then? Take it like a kek or dump her would be your only options.
Go through her phone while she's sleeping. It's the only way to be sure.
My ex boyfriend did this. He had an okc up and said it was "just for friends". Got mad at me for being upset he had a dating profile up while we were together. A month later found out he was cheating on me.
There are lots of ways to make friends. You don't need a dating site to do it.
>>16566554
Definitely go ahead and ask to see the messages. Be prepared for any possibility of what you may find, however, and don't jump to conclusions. It is not uncommon for people to use sites like Tinder or OKC to flirt or fantasize without any intention of actually meeting up. Only you know how you will feel if you read that she has been flirting, or if you would believe her if she said it stopped there, or if you'd even believe she wasn't cheating if you find nothing really incriminating.
Regardless, to avoid this kind of conflict she should have communicated with you that this profile exists and why. Hopefully you can have a rational discussion with her about this (eventually, if it does turn out that she was cheating) and unpack why she didn't tell you (if she wasn't cheating).
You also don't have to break up with her if she was cheating. Infidelity is extremely common, and many couples are able to get past it. Or, it might be a fairly innocent betrayal of your trust. It depends on if you want to forgive her, and if she is willing to work for your forgiveness.
How did you find out? We're you also on there?
Yeah, she's more than likely cheating. If not, then she's looking for someone better than you to hop to.
Regardless, wait until you two spend the day together, then DEMAND she gives it to you. Do not let her phone out of your sight until you search everything. She would do the same to you, besides Tinder is designed to fuck randos, so you're not out of bounds.
>>16566554
I started a new relationship and kept that stuff up in case things didn't work out. But as soon as I knew that it was a stable relationship, I deleted it.
Sounds like she doesn't believe in your relationship and is now taking new applications.
Some naive ppl do use tinder to make friends, but soon delete it cuz they realize it's a hook up app.
>>16566554
>>16566627
This OP gets the top part right, but the bottom part wrong.
If your GF is looking to "just make friends", she's looking for potentials. Either to fuck, for attention, or to find better than you.
This post asks you to snoop through her phone to confirm. Why? Why bother asking to see her messages either. What does it achieve here?
You've found her on a dating website. While in a relationship with you. That's all you need to know. Don't expect her to be honest with you. Asking her to explain will just result in her bullshitting you, and you being torn between being raging/upset and not sure whether to believe or trust her.
So whats your best bet? Walk away. She was on a dating website. It doesn't matter how she says it's to "make friends" or not. It doesn't matter if its friendly chat in the conversations, or just her wanting extra attention. The point is, she was on a dating website behind your back.
That's all you need to know, and what you need to do is break up with her for that reason.
>>16566645
>You can expect women to be honest and forthright
>You don't have to break up with her for cheating on you
never give advice again
>>16566645
>Infidelity is extremely common, and many couples are able to get past it.
They aren't married with kids, you blueballed faggot.
>>16566657
I agree, the guy who wrote that shit is completely clueless. Correct grammar, but horrible advice.
So why do you have a tinder account?
That's all you need to ask. Not crazily or with any specific emotion, just a talk.
If she was hiding that, take note. She won't be reluctant to lie or hide more.
So just be real with her, that is your best chance of her being real with you.
Then you go from there. If you think she's lying or she intends to continue despite it not being okay for you. You know what you should do.
Do you seriously think there are any men who are on Tinder to just be friends with women? Of course fucking not. Your gf is either lying or far too stupid and gullible to be allowed unsupervised access to the internet
>>16566685
If a person is willing to create a tinder account while being in a relationship, what good is talking?
I'm all for sitting down and talking about things. Like, if you're in a relationship and unhappy about something and thinking about splitting up. I would advise talking.
But honestly, this calm "sit down and have a talk" advice given to people that are potentially looking to cheat, is just bad advice. If they are willing to cheat, they are willing to lie about it as well. Talking only gives them a way to fuck with your head.
>catfish her
>meet up
>beat the shit out of her
OP here. This whole thing is in addition to something that happened a couple weeks ago. We're in a long-distance relationship but we see each other every three weeks or so. But the last two times she's gotten calls from one of her exes late at night on a Friday and on a Saturday. I know there are signs but I have no evidence that she's actually cheating on me
>>16566647
A friend was on there and her profile came up
>>16566645
>>16566657
>>16566666
Yeah if she's cheating I'm going to break up with her no question. It sucks, we've been together almost a year now. I feel like I'm not going to be able to do it when I'm with her
>>16566554
If she'd told you about it, and her bio was looking for something specific like someone to play Civil War tabletop games with, then fine.
The fact that it's a "just putting myself out there" account and she kept it hidden from you, nope. She's being unfaithful and deceitful, that cannot fly.
>>16566645
>it might be a fairly innocent betrayal of your trust
>fairly innocent betrayal of your trust
>innocent betrayal
>innocent
>betrayal
>innocent
>betrayal
I just... I don't even want to hit you or anything, I just want to make you sit in a corner and think about what you've done.
>>16566713
justice
>>16566715
>LDR
>Hiding anything
Why are you still with her? If you have any respect foe yourself, you need to leave. Don't be an idiot.
>>16566554
Are you sure she's active on there? When was her last log-in? Maybe she just forgot to delete it?
The fundamental fault in the character of women is that they have no “sense of justice.” This arises from their deficiency in the power of reasoning already referred to, and reflection, but is also partly due to the fact that Nature has not destined them, as the weaker sex, to be dependent not on strength but on cunning; this is why they are instinctively crafty, and have an ineradicable tendency to lie. For as lions are furnished with claws and teeth, elephants with tusks, boars with fangs, bulls with horns, and the cuttlefish with its dark, inky fluid, so Nature has provided woman for her protection and defence with the faculty of dissimulation, and all the power which Nature has given to man in the form of bodily strength and reason has been conferred on woman in this form. Hence, dissimulation is innate in woman and almost as characteristic of the very stupid as of the clever. Accordingly, it is as natural for women to dissemble at every opportunity as it is for those animals to turn to their weapons when they are attacked; and they feel in doing so that in a certain measure they are only making use of their rights. Therefore a woman who is perfectly truthful and does not dissemble is perhaps an impossibility. This is why they see through dissimulation in others so easily; therefore it is not advisable to attempt it with them. From the fundamental defect that has been stated, and all that it involves, spring falseness, faithlessness, treachery, ungratefulness, and so on. In a court of justice women are more often found guilty of perjury than men. It is indeed to be generally questioned whether they should be allowed to take an oath at all. From time to time there are repeated cases everywhere of ladies, who want for nothing, secretly pocketing and taking away things from shop counters.
t. Schopenhauer
>>16566554
Also, maybe you think she's her girlfriend, and she thinks you guys are just going out.
How should I approach it? Should I text her saying "we need to talk" or just go over to her place like nothing has happened then bring it up in conversation?
>>16566746
Tinder doesn't show the last time someone has logged in anymore, but her most recent photo on her profile is from a month ago. We've been dating almost a year
>>16566751
can't be "deficient in power of reasoning" and "cunning/treacherous" at the same time
My boyfriend made a JDate profile while we were dating.
Yeah, he was cheating on me.
>>16566765
There can m8. An instinctual deviancy that causes them to lie and disregard the needs of others. Like a gypsy.
>>16566760
Blindside her or she WILL get rid of evidence, you daft shithead.
>We need to talk
This is like saying
>I'm going to accuse you of cheating
Wouldn't it make sense to hide it?
>>16566760
I posted earlier in the thread that my ex did something similar and I just want to say again EVERYONE knows tinder is a hookup app. If there really is a recent picture and she's been actively looking then at the very least she's looking at other options. I would confront her as soon as possible so she doesn't have an argument like "you were being sneaky, stalking me, and hiding stuff too!" Then decide if you want to work things out and can still trust her or you need to break up.
>>16566666
>>16566666
fucking check'd, m8
>>16566645
This is probably the worst advice I've seen in weeks.
Actually, in a sense it's so bad it's good. Just do the exact opposite of everything this kek says.
>>16566645
>>16566697
Because they aren't always looking to cheat.
Finding people to talk to or even flirt with is just to gain some attention. To get a feeling that you aren't getting otherwise. There is fault on both parties for this.
I've met plenty who fit this description. Despite loving or wanting to be with the person they are with.
Obviously if the person is just fooling around, then you should stop wasting your time with them.
>>16566554
You already made this thread. Stop.
OP, ignore people saying to talk to her about it. That's a terrible idea in this scenario, because it allows her to cover her tracks.
Honestly I would do this
>>16566647
She's cheating on you. Break up with her. No, not all women will do this but yours did.
>>16567746
>its ok if your Significant other creates a profile on dating sites
>its TOTALLY innocent
>I always go out to where horny people want to fuck to make friends
How's the kek life?
Create a fake account and message her. Use a good looking guy and see if you can get her to send you nudes
>>16566645
Worst advice I have ever seen in a fucking long time, are you on the spectrum?
>>16567746
Also this advice is from a person who is literally a kek. Who would defend a partner who uses manipulation and deception over having a conversation with a significant other? A fucking spineless swine with no confidence and a sarcity mentality.
Look we don't have the entire story, and LDR are very hard. Generally they only work if you plan to be with each other within reasonable time (e.g couples that are away for business/study reasons for 6-12 months, but plan to be togeather over that period)
In spite of this, the point is you want someone with integrity to communicate, and yes they are out there, and yes you deserve better op if you havent left out any important details.
Honestly people these days believe you have to put up with a lot of toxic partners habits, i.e teeing up another relationship just in case, not telling your partner how you feel, blah blah. Obviously this goes with a grain of salt and no one is perfect, but I sure as shit wouldnt be with someone who chooses to use hookup apps over telling me the distance thing isn't making her as happy as she would like.
Problems like this require the person to actually work on personal development and possibly their mental well-being. Honestly the chance of someone these days going "shit I fucking do XYZ that hurts our relationship, I wonder if I will spend over 150+ hours to learn how to be a fix this?"
Not her op. not her.
>Can't trust girls for shit
>Girlfriend also had trust issues
>We agree'd to get together under one condition
>I can ask to see any of her accounts/messages/profiles whenever i want with no questions, I can also tell her to stop talking to whoever I want, for the most stupid reasons if i wanted to.
>she can do the exact same to me
>We live pretty happily with no fear, we rarely check up on one another because we know there is no point cheating due to how easy it would be to find out
When your girlfriend acts sketchy, and she argues, then shows you her profile the next day with no messages (deleted), remember this technique OP, It'l save you from getting stressed out with the next girl.
>>16568137
I made my post before he said anything other than the first post and my second was to you. Shit happens, regardless of two people caring or loving each other. It's better to talk and understand than to make rash action like an idiot. Conclusions before understanding is just stupidity.
Literally the only thing you knew about him or his gf is that his gf has a tinder account. NOTHING else. Still hardly know anything, or anything that OP might have done.
That being said.. long distance usually turns into not enough attention and time together, therefor weaklings seek out attention elsewhere, or they just didn't care that much in the first place. Calls from exes typically doesn't happen because texting happen's first these days. So she's more than likely talking to them if she is getting calls.
Taking his second post into account it's almost obvious what she is doing, given the tidbit of information.
OP there is no reason to waste your time or be stressed out on someone like this. If you are innocent in things. You will just be fighting to go downhill.
Id say break things off, tell her why, then say goodbye.
>>16566554
Don't confront her, just pump and dump the bitch.
Don't confront her, find out sneaky like. You can try phinishing, where when you create a fake fb, twitter or gmail webpage and she puts in the information and it sends her password to you.The fb one is pretty easy.
Anyways but really you got to trust your gut, prepare yourself for the worst, go out and get some numbers from some cute girls if you can. Don't leave empty handed, you might say ohhh that's cruel but women do that kind of thing all the damn time lol. Just go on a lot of dates, im not saying jump right back into a relationship, she doesn't deserve an emotional reaction out of you, if she is cheating.
>>16566554
I think you should just dump her. Otherwise she's gonna give you bullshit excuses that can't cover the fact that she's actively on an app that is for fucking. She is probably the type to cover her tracks so checking the phone may not be so illuminating.
Cut your losses.
>>16568157
>agree'd
English is dead.
>>16567746
That's cheating dumb shit
>>16568578
Sorry I live in a world where fucking another person outside of your relationship is cheating.
Flirting also isn't cyber sex. It's showing interest.
>>16568613
So if ur woman sucks a cock that's perfectly fine? There was no penis in vagina intercourse so obvi it wasn't cheating.
Anal sex is fine too right? She can even lick the shit off his cock right?
Fucking kucolds man
if you do anything, ANYTHING, with another person that your partner believes is exclusive, it's cheating. Kissing and flirting and blowjobs included, you dumb retard.
>>16566645
>Infidelity is extremely common, and many couples are able to get past it. Or, it might be a fairly innocent betrayal of your trust. It depends on if you want to forgive her, and if she is willing to work for your forgiveness.
yeah that might work for a drunk mistake with that slippery italian dude when she was on vacation with her bff. not for actively seeking dudes on a dating site. That's not a short moment of weakness, that's an active persuit of someone better than OP!
>It says in her bio that she wants to just make friends with people
that's to not sound desperate and to find decent guys instead of the ones that assume match=sex.
she could've just been laughing at guys with her friends but seriously doubt that as she's actually written something in her bio...
>>16568613
>It's showing interest.
it's actively searching for something better. you don't search for something better if you're happy with someone.
>>16568613
>flirting on a hookup app is 100% ok
Cucks these days
>>16568661
Cucks should banned from advice, they are defunct people, and shouldn't be advising anybody.
And if we weed them out it'll be easier to spot the cheating sluts here trying to normalize their degenerate behaviour.
>>16568631
I like how you get technical like it's not obvious that oral sex is still sex. Cute troll you are.
It's not a problem to think flirting is cheating. Many do, many don't. However if you thinking flirting on a computer or phone is the same as going out and flirting in person. How delusional. Either way the "technical" meaning of flirting is for fun and without any serious intention.
Given your writing and excellent repetitive insult I'd guess your under 16?
>>16568651
No it isn't? That is not what flirting is at all. Flirting is however used while doing that, so I guess your close?
You're right you don't, which is why they are searching because they aren't happy? Either way flirting is not searching for someone else. Searching for someone else is searching for someone else.
>>16568661
>>16568674
I have a feeling none of you have been in real relationships, or maybe you are just trolls. Either way it's funny.
>>16568706
Ohhh so now you do think cock sucking is cheating.. I though you said only intercourse was.
Is kissing cheating? Or is it just flirting?
Is touching cheating? Just a little handjob over the pants, no big deal.
Ur a shitty detective so don't quit your day job, I'm 25 and on my 8th gf. I'm a good person, I don't flirt with other women while in a relationship. I set that standard. If she flirts with another person, that's cheating.
I know your broken cuckold brain can't comprehend things like faithfulness and honor, it's ok.
>>16568729
You are wasting your time man, Cucks are dumb creatures.
what about creating a fake profile and contact her to see what's going on?
I'm also in to see her messages,.
I once made an account while in a relationship just because I felt my circle of friends was dwindling
bump desu
>>16568706
>It's not a problem to think flirting is cheating. Many do, many don't. However if you thinking flirting on a computer or phone is the same as going out and flirting in person. How delusional. Either way the "technical" meaning of flirting is for fun and without any serious intention.
Fucking cucks, don't listen op. Confront the bitch and make her hand over her phone. If she shows any hesitation, dump her ass. Innocent bitches don't hesitate to show their bf their messages. Or hide their tinder accounts. Or use their tinder accounts while in a relationship. Or try and meet dudes on a dating site in general. 90% chance she's fucked another dude already.
>>16566697
It's your job as a sensible person to take control of a talk like that. To not let the other person "fuck with your head". Know your rights in the case you're discussing, and keep the conversation focused and on-topic.
Concentrate. Focus. Be a man.
>>16568913
>I once made an account while in a relationship just because I felt my circle of friends was dwindling
You weren't just lying to your partner, you were even lying to yourself. And you still are. On the internet. Anonymously.
How about getting to know yourself a little bit? Begin to be honest to yourself? Try it out mang
>>16567806
This, then post them.
>>16569469 I just wanted to flirt a little fuck you I was so embarrased when I realise how stupid it was back then, what are you a psychologist?
>>16566666
Checked satanic quints
>>16568729
Where's the dumb shit retard this time? I missed it :(.
Only 25 year old's that are good people insult others every post. Smart too. You're right!
You're 16. LOL.
p.s neva sid "intercourse". u read? trolololol
>>16566751
