Would really appreciate some advice here. I know its a long post, but some input from anyone would be much appreciated.
So i dated this girl for just over a year. Everything was great. For some reason i had got it into my head that my relationship was making me lose my friends and it had gotten pretty serious, she was practically living with me. I'm only 20 and it was my first ever serious relationship. I didnt know how to tell her i needed space and we had never fought before in our entire relationship. So like a fucking immature idiot i decided to breakup with her, some of my friends urged me to do it and like a retard i listened. In my head it was only temporary though, like i knew i still loved her so i dont know why i did it. So obviously she was heartbroken. I just sat her down and told her that i felt like i was losing my friends and things got so serious so quickly and i didnt know what i wanted.
After the breakup we still chatted now and then and wanted to stay friends.
Since i was newly single, friends decided it was time to get hammer drunk and get me involved (very mature i know) one night i went out with them and i kissed some girl. I barely remembered it, i just remember opening my eyes, realising it wasnt my ex and stopping. It just felt so wrong. As i left the club that night, i offered that girl a lift home as she was going to walk. I had no intentions of doing anything with her, nor did anything happen. However my exes friend was out and she saw me kiss this girl and now she saw her climb into my car.
Anyway 2 or so weeks later i decided fuck this. I love my ex, i dont want to be with anyone else. She is my best friend. So i spoke to her about getting back together. She was fine with it at first, but i could see she was still hurt and wanted some time. She stayed over one night and cried. Ive never felt like such a sack of shit. After that night, she went out with her friends and made a whole new friend group. Cont>
So she met some new guys too, has been speaking to them to obviously feel better about herself/ perhaps move on?.. Anyway since then she was a bit off to me. We still went for coffee and so on. Hugged for long, no kissing or anything and i was always the one to say i love you first. She kept on distancing herself from me, we still saw and spoke to each other often but it wasnt the same. Understandably though, because she was still hurt.
So now we are all on holiday, i wont see her for 2 months. She left a few days earlier than me. One night i saw her friend out. Her friend asked me about the situation. I told her i want to get back with her, her friend said she supported me because she had once broken up with her boyfriend and realised she had made a mistake. They got back together and have been dating for 3 years. She also asked me about the girl that i kissed and asked if i had done anything else. I told her the whole story and she said that i should tell my ex, because she heard the story from the friend that saw. So I'm guessing my ex assumed i slept with this girl. So now it was pretty hard to tell my ex in person about it as i wouldnt see her for 2 months.
We were still chatting over whatsapp every now and then, but then i decided fuck it, I'm going to tell her. Like i didnt know what she was thinking. I didnt want her to think that i slept with this girl, which i didnt. So i told her. She read the message and has ignored me for the past week. I just dont know what to do, like she knew about it beforehand and she was fine. I know she knew about it, she just never mentioned anything about it. I just dont know what to do.
My girlfirend and I are very confident but really A LOT of times we have misunderstsndings and arguing for things we are making a wrong idea of. I suggest you as soon as you can hsve some cofee with her or somtheing or at your house, and talk about it, tell her the things from the start and explain her. Never hide how you feel because it is very importsnt for her knowing how you felt all this time. Takr your time to explain her well. In person.
>>16565640
Same person here.
I think you expressed really wewll in your message. Maybe she doesn't answer because she has mixed feelings and doesn't know what she wants after all that happened. I really think you should face her personally as soon as you can about this. Or trying calling her talking with her through voice call, and see what she thinks about it. Tell her all this frm the start man, the first part too. Tell her you really love her and you made maybe stupid decisions and never wanted tu hurt her. Tell her what you feek and i hope she gets to answer you soon. Maybe leaving voices notes too. Telling her you want to meet in person when she comes back. But don't leave 500 messages, i would want to do it if i was at your situation with my gf, but maybe you would seem obsessive
>>16565641
>>16565649
>>16565655
normally I dont think this kind of messages do any good but you said how you felt and the ball is in her court, not much you can do now except giving her time to think, she probably wont come back but you did what you could.
And next time dont listen to your friends or make decisions without thinking them through
This was the last message i sent her. She hasnt replied in a week.
I just dont know what to do while we are apart? Like do i wait for her to reply? I dont want to seem more desperate than i already am. I just dont want to lose her.
>>16565691
Maybe you can leave one last message or voice note telling her that you want to let her think about all this and when she is ready to answer. Then do it.
Or just wait fir her to reply.. and if she doesnt just face her personally when you can
>>16565691
>She hasnt replied in a week
I'm sorry for you man, its probably over
I bet she met new guys and lost the interest on you.
>>16565697
I dont know about leaving her more messages. Maybe il phone her or something on christmas?.. I dont know.
I just dont want to regret this for the rest of my life. I generally dont have trouble getting girls, and i could probably get a girl that is better looking. But thats not what i want. We had such a connection, she was the most genuine and loyal person that i knew and she was my best friend. We would honestly spend hours every day with each other. I fucking love her and i wish there was a way i could fix this.
>>16565731
Start cutting contact with your shit "friends".
>>16565709
I really hope she hasnt.
I just wish i could get conformation from her so i could atleast try move on if she isnt interested anymore. But it looks like I'm going to have to wait out the entire holiday to find out.
>>16565731
I insist that in lerson is the best way to do it maybe that way you can know what she really feeks and thinks now about all this. I'm not telling you that there is a magical way to make her come back with you, but if you tell her everything without hesitating, maybe she will think more about it. If you too were such inlove maybe she stills loves you but isn't sure on what to do. You both have to clarify things beetween you two. Maybe give her some time until you can meet personally and see what happens.
>>16565743
I know the feeling must be horrible, i imagine i would be like you if my actual gilfriend is with my in thi situation. Lots of shit happened beetween you two man, maybe she just needs some time and you both could talk about it clarifying things and maybe getting to try it again toghether
>>16565748
>>16565752
Yeah i guess in person would be best. Would i just message her when i finally get back to college or what?
Fuck I'm so tempted to message her and ask her if its over or not. I just really want to know. Worst thing is I'm stuck in a remote shitty country doing work experience right now, so i have all the time in the world to overthink things and keep it running through my head.
