Shallow dynamic
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I had a male friend who used to hang out in my group in highschool but he didn't really talk to me or the other girls in the group so we didn't really consider him a core member of the group.
Anyways, he knows a bunch of celebrities and recently reached out to me to reconnect and offered to introduce me to some celebrities.
The issue is, I can tell that he likes me and I do not have the same feelings towards him. He's not making any obvious moves so it is difficult for me to properly reject him. Every "meet up" so far has had a good reason like "oh hey I got that actress I saw to sign something for you, let's grab dinner so I can give it to you!"
I never let him pay for me and I give strong signals "you're a great FRIEND" or "haha it's so nice to have platonic guy friends!!".
Anyways- here's the advice I need- how do I prevent this from going any further without cutting my ties to him?
I guess this is kind of bitchy but I enjoy that he has cool connections and I want him to keep introducing me to celebrities, but I don't want to have a relationship with him beyond friendship.
I know I'm a cunt for this, but if he hadn't relied on his celebrity connections to talk to me in the first place, we wouldn't have such a shallow dynamic. The poor guy is so quiet I literally know nothing about him even after 6 years of friendship.
How does he know so many celebrities?
Also prepare yourself for a bunch of people getting butt hurt at you for using him.
I don't think you can really do anything except be his friend (actually be his friend don't just use him) until he makes a move.
One he makes a move you can tell him you see him only as a friend. If you've just been using him then he might drop you, but if you've been a good friend to him then the friendship might stay intact.
If you say anything before he makes a move them that might insult him if he doesn't actually feel that way
>>16557882
I am a good friend to him- he has some kind of social disability I think so he doesn't have any friends. I have been very friendly and patient with him, but he keeps pushing the limits of our friendship into an area that I am not comfortable with. I don't really know how to be an actual friend to him since he doesn't really converse well or open up about anything.
I have been trying to actually get to know him better but I dont know- he might just be really boring.
His father has a lot of connections- that's how he knows the celebrities.
And I understand why people would be butthurt- Im not normally this shallow so I had quite a bit of guilt.
That being said, I am activly denying his advances, so I don't think I'm necessarily leading him on. I'm not like flirting back or instigating meet ups.
Plus, the fact that he's using celebrities to "wow" me in to meeting with him in person is a pretty shallow tactic in and of itself. I don't think I'm being signifigantly more shallow than he is in this situation, so I don't feel TOO guilty.
>>16557892
>"him trying to impress me with something other than his personality because he's awful at communication is really shallow"
TOP FUCKING KEK, how's that cognitive dissonance of yours doing? You're on your own princess
>>16558186
i know I'm being a bitch, but let's not pretend that he isn't playing a part in the shallowness of our dynamic.
He is exploiting celebrities for personal gain in place of developing a personality.
If he wants a girl to be genuinely interested in him, he needs to have a personality.
Just deliver the message loud and clear, tell him the truth, like, "Look, I can't help but feel in some ways like I'm using you for your celebrity influence unless I make this clear right now: We will be friends, nothing more, for now and all of eternity. If you can't stand that thought, then we should stop being friends now. If that satisfies you, we can keep being friends."
>>16558363
Wow, it's almost like having a social disability makes it difficult to let your personality through.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's entitled to your affection (no one is ever entitled to anyone's affection), it's just that you're clearly trying to take the responsibility to end this off of yourself.
>>16557867
>i know I'm a cunt but it's his fault
>dat rationalization
ayy lmao
>>16557867
>"haha it's so nice to have platonic guy friends!!"
If you actually said this, there is literally no way he did not get the message. Just stop overthinking it and hang out with him as normal.
You already know your not into him so dont be a sell out for an autograph. your selling out is trying to convince you that theres something about him to like... in the end you waste years in a relationship you know you shouldnt have entered. your solution is simple...change his name to ignore. new text? delete new VM? delete.....delete without listening . if you never hear the persuasion you never feel bad or are enticed . now do whats best for you and ignore the weaker you that says "but , Creflo Dollars signature would be so awesome"
>>16558567
You're literally telling her "don't use this simple method to make easy money." Seems stupid to me.
>>16558567
Shit advice
>>16558429
maybe you should change your cologne
Don't use him, leave him alone, tell him you're not interested and that you're both wrong.
Anything else and you're a bad person and deserve what you get. You know what the right thing to do is, yet you're looking for a way out so you can still use him AND pin him as the bad guy while ignoring your own trespasses. Ignore him entirely or cut it off smooth, your choice.
Stop leading him on, you bitch. Tell him you only see him as a friend and that you're never going to go beyond that. You can never be his friend until he has someone who likes him.
>>16557867
Take him for all he's worth, fuck what these gaylord anons think. If you were a tranny you would've got their full support.
>>16558657
>being this stupid
My sides
