My girlfriend
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
This is going to be a long one, I think it is important to know my past a little bit to fully understand why I think about this situation the way that I do.
I got married in 2010 after only dating this girl for only 8 months. I obviously regret this choice I made, but when you are young and you meet a woman a little older than you that has the perfect body and we have nothing but the best sex, it's hard to leave. I had to make a choice, marry her, or she couldnt come with me when I had to get stationed in Virginia. Turns out she was cheating on me the entire time. Well, actually, she had a boyfriend before me, so I was the one she was cheating on her boyfriend with, she just decided to marry me and I guess somehow make all that shit work. Obviously I thought this woman was the love of my life, there was seriously nothing negative at all between us or about her until I found out. I was pretty fucking devastated, doesn't help that I probably have more emotions that the average male. It is 2015, I'm still not divorced and it's been fucking hell. She is mad that I want to leave her, she has done everything form attempted suicide, falsifying documents, burning paperwork, to calling my command and requesting consoling. Being in the Navy ( I realize now I should of stated that earlier ), it is quite hard to get a divorce, and going on 2 and a half deployments in the 5 years of trying didn't help at all, not to mention the $30,000 of debt I climbed out of.
The whole point of that was to give a background as to why I have trust issues.
Here comes the new situation. I met another woman on deployment that was on my boat, we hit it off amazingly as soon as we meet eachother. 2 weeks later, the boat I was on got the chance to pull into a tropical paradise of the coast of Australia. We got 3 days off all to ourselves, which consisted of alot of drinking, sex, Jacuzzi time, sex, beach, even more sex, and just running around naked on our own little piece of land in the middle of no where. We fell for each other stupid hard it could almost be a romance movie. We get back to the states and here comes the interesting shit, she wants me to move in. Best part? She has a 2 year old and that 2 year olds dad is very much still part of her life. Don't get me wrong that is great, but it's just a lot to be thrown into out of no where. Now you have this guy just coming over all the time to see her, and now my girlfriend is always bringing him up ( clearly I moved in at this point ).
So now i still have a wife living up north, I have a new girlfriend who has a kid who has a dad always trying to be around (again, I'm not upset, this is good for them, just a new concept for me ). A couple of months go by, and things start to get stressful for us, I'm not used to sharing a room with a 2 year old, I'm not used to anything about a 2 year old honestly. Not only that, but she is one of those people who stresses the fuck out over nothing. I have to deal with a fuckign crazy 2yr and the mother all day and I'm tired of it.( This next part is going to sound selfish, but you really have to see it from my point of view. ) I feel neglected now, we went from always all over eachother, fucking, making out, touching eachother, talking dirty, hanging out all day having fun, to getting home from work and dealing with a crazy mom and her kid. It seriously feels like I just skipped 6 years down the road, got married, had a kid and now Im here. The worst part is she used to always talk about him. Talks about how they fucked all the time and how he broke her heart. Basically she used to be this fuck doll for this guy and be all over him and now she is broken. She cant have that immotional level anymore and I have to suffer the consequences. She acts like she doesnt even want me, like she doesnt even care if I leave. That shit is fucking gay. Best part is things havent even gotten good yet.
Was the sex good? She loves you, you know.
We don't like eachother much anymore, we fight, we have long periods of not talking, we each do passive aggresive shit to piss eachother off. I feel like we broke up, just none of us knew it yet. Its seriously at the point where we are going to break up, you know, until i was woken up one saturday and she told me she was pregnant. Youre probably thinking 'oh shit, you wanted to leave and now you can't because she is pregnant'. Most people would, but I'm a little different. I'm thinking 'my doctor told me when I was 16 that the possiblilty of me ever having kids is 1 in 50 million, how the fuck did this happen?' (I got itno a dirtbike accident when I was 16). I pretend to be happy, she isnt so much. We are now in a bipolar relationship, we fight, we fuck, we fight, we fuck. its back and forth but the whole time im wondering...
is it mine?
I decided I was going to try to find out before this goes on any farther. I go through her phone one night to see if I can find any one she is talking to sexually that could be the one, obviously I should look at the old baby daddy right? I forgot to mention he lives in Hawaii now and it would be impossible given the timeframe. This makes me job harder. I find a guy, Greg, Fucking Greg. She is talking up a sexual hurricane with this dude, talking about how she would leave me for him. This was all about week ago form me reading it. You get the idea. I wake her ass up and confront her. She cries and says she was sorry. She says to me that she is in love with me and it took her that to realize it. I kind of beleive it because of the way it ended, with both of them being boring and suddenly no longer talking. Ofcourse I ask if she fucked him. She didnt, he lives in Virginia, we are in California. Dead end, looks like I might be the dad. Months go by, you can tell without a doubt that she is in love with me, she knows im a great father because of how I treat sophia, she doesnt want 2 baby daddys so she is trying, she knows I am probably the best she will ever get on the personality level because I actually give a fuck about her and the kid that isn't mine. Her parents and friends told her I'm the best she has ever had, or so she tells me, which I beleive. I have a realy strong feeling that she has never cheated on me, I would know if she did. We work together and work the same hours, its pretty much fucking impossible for her to get free time.
>recruit anon in a greyhull rate gets a marriage of convenience
>surprised that she cheats when you're out to sea
m80...
I'm not convinced yet.
You cant delete facebook messages, so I checked them. Found a guy she sent nudes to, I noticed something very fucking familiar about them. I was there when those pictures were taken. I was the one taking those photos. She sends them to some guy on the same boat, i read the messages they sent back and forth and it fucking kills me. all the nudes, the dirty talk, all of this right when we got together. They stopped talking a couple of days after it was official, but still it feels like I caught her again. What I thought was the greatest weekend of my entire life with the woman I love has turned into a shitty feeling and thought of her thinking about this guy while we were supposedly having the time of our lives. The only thing that is caught me up on this is the fact that she said she only kissed this guy. Normally this is considered bullshit, but she also admitted to fucking 3 other people at work. Why tell me you fucked them but not him? She doesn't know that I know, so she wouldn't be hiding it. if the baby wasn't mine, I'm sure she would have wanted to leave. She knows the chances are small I can make one and you can tell she is genuinely surprised that I happened.
Now it is tonight. I'm up, they are asleep. I can't sleep as much as I used to. I constantly think about my future and if this is worth it. I'm convinced the kid is mine, I'm convinced she never actually fucked anyone since we have started seeing each other. My current dilemma is this:
I cant get her ex, the baby daddy, out of my head, every time she talks about him, my mind immediately races to them fucking like crazy somewhere, her taking cum loads to the mouth. I can't stop myself, its so shitty. I get mad, she tells me they are never going to be together even if we break up, which is more true than usual because he is married now. I've wanted to fuck her all day, but she compared my height to him earlier and ever since then I've been not in the mood at all. I also can't stop thinking about our weekend and how she was sending nudes and talking to that other guy. I also can't stop thinking about Greg, the one she wanted to leave me for.
Am I unreasonable? Am I going down a path I'm going to regret? Will I ever just stop being a pussy and get over her past?
>>16544359
The sex with both of them was the best in my life, My wife was way better at bj's, my girlfriend was into some pretty hardcore shit like being biting and being tied up and fucked. both had perks
>>16544362
If I only knew the cliche I was fulfilling.
I only read the first three posts.
The moral of the fucking story is to not rush into things you fucking moron, you probably should have understood that the first time around.
>>16544367
ok anon, I read your whole story and my advice is to get out now. She told what amounted to basically some rando that she would leave you for him, I don't care how many excuses she comes up with that is absolutely unacceptable. This shit is only going to further embitter you until you eventually decide you've had enough, just cut your losses now and move on you can do way better than this.
You ever looked at some sack of shit chief that's angry all the time and wonder wtf happened to him? Well it was probably something like this. Don't end up like that.
>>16544367
I think you have every right to still be hung up on her past, you aren't being unreasonable.
You should bring up the facebook thing, you need to talk about that. Unless you discuss everything with her properly the feelings won't just disappear.
I've spent 6 years trying to get over my partner cheating (very early on in the relationship and they still claim it wasn't really cheating, I know it was). 6 years to realise I wasn't going to be able to forgive or forget.
You need to stop torturing yourself and tell her straight. If you can't get over it, move on.
>>16544383
Tell me about it, I get feeling way to fast to shit I shouldn't. I listen to them because more often than not, I fuck a girl and I feel nothing afterward. Then these ones come along and make me fall for them. the fuck...
>>16544400
This is what I'm thinking, but I just can't abandon my future son without atleast knowing for sure. I've already talked with a couple of chiefs, they don't want to give me a definitive answer which only proves that it is probably the one I don't want to hear.
>>16544407
I know I should, and I want to, I just cant bring myself to telling her I went through her phone again, especially when what I found wasn't technically cheating because we got together right before or right after the fact, I dont know the exact date.
>>16544407
Oh and regarding the kid, you need to ask for tests. She's given you enough reason to have doubt there, that's her fault not yours.
>>16544419
I've brought it up and she said she would do it. she fully realizes that she was wrong, every time I bring it up passive aggressively, she says that she hates herself for it and she wishes that I would forgive her.
>>16544417
If you can't bring yourself to be honest with her then what's the point?
She gave you reason to doubt her. Even if she didn't, you're feeling insecure and you want reassuring and you're too scared to talk to her about it. She should be the one person you can talk to about anything.
>>16544425
Honestly it is because I don't want to start shit again, Things have been a lot better recently and I was afraid of fucking all of it up. Tomorrow I will bring it up when she gets off work.
wait isn't adultery illegal in the military?
>>16544423
Tell her you wish you could forgive her too. Don't let her guilt you into not bringing it up.
Don't waste 6 years of your life trying to forgive something you can't. Sucks bro.
>>16544440
It is, and what I did would be adultery if I wasn't already legally separated before I started to fuck my girlfriend. But if you are referring to my wife cheating on me, emails and texts don't hold up in court when it comes to cheating. tried that.
>>16544448
I'm trying my best to feel it out, I know I'm going to bring it up, i just didn't know when. After this post, i will be doing it tomorrow.
>>16544460
You should let us know how it goes. I hate missing the end of movies.
>>16544365
>Serge you can delete Facebook messages
You just wanted the sex, why fall for a broken crap despite having one trouble in your wife back home?
Get Sophia's DNA testing done.
>>16544563
The daughter is the other guys kids, the one into question is the one she is pregnant with now. we still have a couple of months to go
>>16544563
It started out that way, but with her, just like my future ex-wife, I fell for their personalities. I don't have any control over how I feel for someone and I tend to trust it because of all the times that it doesn't happen. There have been a few instances of great sex and immediately after blowing my load I hate her and myself.
