I'm in quite the conundrum.
>be me, 22
>parents are finally divorcing
>am at a transitional period where I can't find a good job, just graduated
>if I can't move out now, will likely have to live with my mother
>she has no friends or family here, but living with her would severely limit EVERY aspect of my life, be it romantic, social, professional, personal, etc.
>will feel crushing guilt if I, as the only person left in her life, moved away from her
>her only choices would be to live here, completely alone aside from me visiting her, or back to Thailand where she'd survive easier but again, be away from the sole person in her life
>>16543664
Shit dude, well do what she would do and stick around and wish for the best, you can't just leave her all alone.
>>16543664
I do belive you need to put your life ahead of others, but in this case she is your mother and you need to be there to support her, dont stay there forever becasue you both need to move one, but for now give her the support she needs.
>>16543664
Maybe just live near her, but not with to her? If you're the only person in her life maybe she could come with you in some capacity? An apartment next door? If she's freshly divorced she could probably use a new start too.
You not wanting to leave your Mom is noble, but the best thing you could do is stay -near- her, or bring her -near- you, and encourage her to assert her own independence, introduce her to some hobbies, a group, some friends, or something. This might be a time where being thoughtful and creative couldn't hurt.
Also...have you tried talking to her?
Op in this day and age housing cost way to much for upstarts like us. Family living is more common now than ever. As for your mom talk to her about what you want to do and how you plan on living your life. If she tries to hold you back tell her that you are 22 and can make your own life choices. But don't forget to let her know that you do care about her.
>>16543826
>>16543859
For how long, though? After 5, 10 years, I imagine it'll be even tougher to say "I'm gonna leave now, mom" or "time to leave, mom".
>>16543870
What is the best balance? Next door means she is basically living with me. Too close, she'll be over all the time/ obligation to visit her. Too far, she'll get lonely.
>>16543929
This woman will peel fruit for me if I asked; she's way too attached to me. She will understand that I want to go my own way, but if I do the best thing for myself (breaking off), then she'll be really hurt.
>>16544116
1/2 blocks radius
>>16544116
Op I'm curious. What made you come to your conclusion?
>>16544162
What conclusion?
>>16544198
That you need to do a hard break off from her. Did she do something?
>>16543664
OP, I'm in the same exact situation. Asian mom also lol. What I plan on doing is moving to a city near her and coming to see her as much as possible.
>>16544207
She's overly attached to me and she is borderline mentally ill. She drove my father almost to the point of stress-induced schizophrenia. I am the only person on Earth she loves. She doesn't get along with most people, it seems like. She got fired from her last job.
>>16544210
Goddamn it Anon, why do Asians have to be like this?
>>16544273
Your mom pushed you out of her vagina OP and loved every minute of it
Stay with her
>>16543664
This story is not about you.
It's about your parents. Play your supporting role in their drama for a while.
Join the military. You can only do so much right now. A little sacrifice for a few years will go a long way. She'll understand because the past twenty years of her life has revolved around family. While that dynamic is changing so should your priorities. Both of your priorities. If you don't make the leap to grow now you will BOTH be stagnant and just end up settling for what comes by instead of what you MAKE happen. While the military is not for everyone, it's a good place to start looking for solutions. Good luck, Anon.
>>16543664
Just move out next year when you can find a good job. No shame in that sounds like you are not ready to move out anyway. I don't even plan to move out till like 24-25 because I'm traveling so often paying rent just seems stupid and i'm not home half the year anyway.
