Been with my GF for more than 2 years.
We love each other and she wants to get married someday and have kids.
Things are really good between us and she's my biggest support, but there's one thing I have trouble letting go of.
For the first few months of our relationship she was on Tinder talking to multiple guys. I never got to see those conversations and after I found out she deleted the app.
Now if I trust what she says, she never cheated on me and she claims she didn't know the app was used for hooking up/dating. She thought of it as a way to make friends. That sounds retarded, but she can be a bit of a dumbass at times.
I'd say I moved on, but anytime I think about it or someone mentions Tinder I feel like shit and start doubting things.
She either cheated on you or was planning to.
c.vck
>We love each other and she wants to get married someday and have kids.
hahahahahaha
>2015
>marrying a tinder slut
>marrying at all
>"just wanted friends! honest!"
You deserve whatever she makes you suffer years down the line, for ignoring the obvious red flags.
>she claims she didn't know the app was used for hooking up/dating
That is a lie. She at the least was doing it for attention, which is wrong if you were in a committed relationship. If you were dating and nothing official, then she can do that. To say it was for finding friends only (of the opposite sex only) is a straight up lie.
At this point, if this was an issue 2 years ago when the relationship first started it seems like you should have broken up or moved on and continued your relationship, but you did neither. It sucks, but it seems unfair to dig this up now and throw it back at her. You either trust her or you do not, if you do not, the relationship should end.
It's in the past forget about it. Also, a lot of people I know that have tinder just use it to fuck around on and not to actually hook up. so idk
>>16529710
Don't listen to these retards.
You girlfriend used to be single right? She was looking for someone when you met her?
As unfortunate as it is, tinder is actually an effective way for women to find people. Eventually, you came into her life, so she stopped looking for someone, because she found someone (you).
It's totally possible that your gf did something dishonest, but based purely on the OP there is 0 reason to think she did anything wrong.
>>16529897
>As unfortunate as it is, tinder is actually an effective way for women to find people.
Yeah, for casual sex. There are no love stories in tinder. Certainly not "friendships" either.
And you're ignoring the fact that she used it during the first months of the relationship.
Using it to begin with, while in one, is already a sign of disloyalty.
>>16529906
The person you responded to is likely a girl who convinces herself the "friends" she makes are there because they value her friendship, and not because they just want to have sex.
Give me a SINGLE reason for someone in a commited relationship to have an active profile (as in: getting new matches) on Tinder, that doesn't already imply you're thinking of sex with other people.
Go ahead. Try.
Moral of the story: never give the benefit of doubt to slutty/cheating behavior, you'll just be blinded by the smoke and mirrors of plausbile deniability
>>16529710
If it really was just in the first few months then it wasn't before things got serious between you. It sounds like she realized how much she liked you and decided she didn't need the app.
It's honestly really sweet of her and it doesn't sound like there's any real reason for you to be doubting her outside of feeling a bit overwhelmed by how successful the relationship feels.
Don't let your long lingering doubts get in the way of something good for you.
>>16529927
>It's honestly really sweet of her
>it's honestly sweet of her to keep a profile on a casual dating site after entering a monogamous relationship, because in her mind, she didn't actually agree to monogamy until a far later date than what she told OP
>get in the way of something good for you.
Disgusting.
>>16529927
So in your world its ok to engage in activity like that when you first start a relationship (ie not just dating) until you come around and see how much you like that person?
>>16529938
Yeah, I agree with this anon. Me and my current long term gf were dating for a while, but once we started a relationship all the other shit stopped. Isn't that the main difference between dating and a relationship?
>>16529927
I hope this is bait
>>16529710
>gf of 2 years
>Catch her on tinder
Just if you dont know what tinder really is, let me tell you.. tinder is for fucking. Shes either fucked someone or is chatting up a dude. Your relationship is over, get out while now. Commence the healing process.
>>16529710
>For the first few months of our relationship she was on Tinder talking to multiple guys. I never got to see those conversations and after I found out she deleted the app.
So... she was talking to other guys online almost two years ago and you're still stuck on it?
Do you communicate with her about your insecurity or is this something you're keeping bottled up?
If you actually loved her you would trust her. You don't. You don't need a girlfriend, you need a magical untouched virgin princess in a tower that's never talked to or seen a man before.
I mean, if you want a future with this girl, get over yourself. If you don't then whatever. Its your life bro.
>>16529710
Thanks op you just settled it for me. I am steering super clear of american women fuck that noise. I'm changing my lifestyle and living at a higher standard i don't care what it takes. I have no words op i am actually butt hurt for you right now.
>>16530085
Dude do you know what tinder is? Its just sex bro. That means it's very fucking likely for MONTHS of them going out he was literally getting kekd. There's nothing "magical " about a virgin btw and theres a huge difference between having sex before she met him and fucking with other guys WHILE she was with him.
>>16530085
>YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE HER IF YOU WON'T EAT HER POOP
nice, nice
truly epic
>>16530133
Dunno if it's high quailty bait, women or keks writing this shit anymore its getting too wild. Is op even real? Is this a bait thread?
I have tinder and a boyfriend. I don't meet up with anyone on tinder. Me and my gay best friend just swipe together.
I understand OP, these things are very tough, and first I want to say how sorry I am that you are in this situation, and I wish you all the best. First, you should talk to her, and express your concerns. I have used tinder, and it is very obvious that it isn't for friends, it shows you only those of the opposite sex (or those you are sexually interested in).
I think you should talk to her, and explain the problem and what you think. If she was planning on cheating, I wouldn't continue, cheaters don't change.
>>16530147
>Pretending like you are not there to see what you could be missing and hoping a hansomer dude messages you.
I really hope you come up with better excuses.
Tinder really isn't just for sex anymore though. I live in a relatively large city, and based on all the profiles I've seen and the girls I've talked with, I'd say at least 60% (probably more) are not looking to just hookup. And a lot of the times they write it directly on their profile. I can't tell you how many good looking girls I've come across that say they're looking for a relationship on tinder. I'm a fairly good looking guy and have fucked a handful of tinder girls, so I'm not just some fat fuck autist getting rejected, I genuinely believe these girls aren't looking for a one night stand.
Btw, I'm not defending OPs girlfriend whatsoever. Just wanted to throw this out there.
OP here.
Fuck, I should have broken up with her 2 years ago.
Will never know if she actually cheated or not. I figured she was using it for attention and as a way to boost her low self-esteem, but she won't even admit that.
I haven't brought it up in a while, but when I did she would usually get upset and maintain the same story, that she didn't know it was for hooking up. Have outright asked her if she ever cheated or had intentions to, and the answer is always the same. I either have to trust that she's telling the truth or bail the fuck out.
I`m not involved in any popular chatting apps other than Whatsapp maybe. If you told me to look up tinder before someone had the chance to tell me what it is used for, I would have though it was a friending app too.
>>16529809
>hurr durr marriage is the worst thing ever
Yes dear, we see you.
>>16530314
Months is not a mistake in the app store honest if it was really nothing she would have kept on it her phone and forgot about it and let him look at it later when he saw it. But as soon as he found out she deleted it and claimed ignorance. If you were ignorant then there would be no flag to delete it. So either you think she was flirting or fucking but months again is a long period of time and op said she was talking to more then one guy. This is just me putting pieces together if there is a flaw in this logic by all means tell me. I would rather me be wrong but it's fucked up not to lay it out straight for op.
Have there been any other red flags that would make you suspect anything?
If she was legitimately cheating on you, no way did she just immediately end it when you saw she had the app. If you've never had any suspicions beyond that, then she probably wasn't cheating on you and was just embarrassed about being an idiot.
I don't see the big deal. It was the very beginning of your relationship. Maybe she realized she didn't need tinder anymore because she had you. If she has never re-downloaded the app, or done anything else that might make you think she's cheating, maybe she's not. There must be something else that's making you not trust her.
>>16530314
If you look it up it literally says it on its website.
>>16530423
She was engaged and got cheated on, so she was fresh out of a bad relationship when we met. Low self-esteem and depression and her ex was abusive.
Some of that shit carried over to our relationship and I caught her lying about a guy friend, claiming he was a girl. Her ex was real controlling and didn't allow her to have guy friends so she assumed I'd be the same.
First 3 months of the relationship she wasn't upfront with her friends or family that we were dating, claiming that they wouldn't approve of her being in a new relationship. She was also drinking a lot during this time and at times suicidal, and definitely not over what had happened to her.
Those same months she was using Tinder.
When I found out she wasn't telling people we were together I gave her an ultimatum to be up front or I'd end it. She apologized and saw my POV, and from then on was honest with her family and friends.
She also never hid her phone from me and let me use it plenty of times. When I discovered Tinder, she had asked me to grab her phone for her and when I did I saw some Tinder notifications. I confronted her and was pissed, but at first she was confused why I was so angry. She eventually began to cry after seeing how upset I was. She really may have not known or been using it as a dating/hooking up app. She deleted it the next day.
>>16529710
>didnt know it was a hookup app
OP. That is impossible, you're literally fucking retarded if you think this. There is NOTHING about tindr that ever EVER screams "this is for friends". To top it off this is a very common technique that shitty girls do to justify cheating later on.
"I'm only here for a friendship!"
"w-w-well I might have a LITTLE crush on him...but hes my friend nothing bad would happen, you're just paranoid"
"Well YEAH we are gonna go hang out, that's what friends do. We are just friends thats it"
"w-w-we had a few drinks and he was upset and I went to hug him and next thing I know he's kissing me! Stuff got out of control from there, I never meant to hurt you and I thought we were just friends! I'm so sorry"
>>16530085
>If you love her you accept whatever shit she does
>if you dont then you're just a little boy who believes in fairy tales
Nice B8 M8
>>16530147
>i-i-its just a joke
>h-h-haa-haha wouldnt it be funny if I actually went out with this guy? hahha
>w-w-well my bf HAS been a little cold lateley...and this guy gives me so much attention
>I deserve better you know what! I'm a princess and Neil the gay friend agrees with me! I'm breaking up with my current guy
>but im still gonna keep tindr for the lulz ;3
Why are women garbage tier when it comes to loyalty?
>>16530273
Are, are you serious anon?
Let me spell it out for you. 90% of girls do NOT want to be "the slut". Even if they are down for casual hookups they aren't going to post "hey yeah Im done for anything anytime anywhere". Instead they post that shit in an attempt to rationalize in their brains that "well, I wrote it so therefore its true! If anything happens its just natural feelings and heat of the moment, y-y-yeah I'm not normally a huge slut"
>>16530314
>has huge reputation as hookup site
>description and website literally SAY its for dating
>guyz I dunno lel I think its 4 fweindship!
Faggot
>For the first few months of our relationship she was on Tinder talking to multiple guys.
She certainly fucked them, because you weren't in an exclusive relationship yet. If you had the DTR talk, and then after that she was on tinder/whatever, then you can go ahead and consider it cheating. Otherwise your expectation of fidelity is naive and irrational, like a woman.
>>16531702
Relationship was definitely exclusive.
Initially, we were just hooking up but a month into that we went camping and had a talk. At that point we decided to be together, BF and GF.
It was 3 months later that I found out about Tinder.
>>16529927
>It sounds like she realized how much she liked you and decided she didn't need the app.
Please stop talking nonsense. OP clearly stated that HE found out she was using it and that she only then deleted the app. She had no intention of doing so and would have continued to use it if he stayed in the dark.
>It's honestly really sweet of her...
Fuck, I was baited. Gj.
>>16531679
Sorry to do this buuuutttt.
>She was engaged and got cheated on.
I'm assuming she told you this, any chance that maybe she did the cheating?
>So she was fresh out of a bad relationship when we met.
Nice rebound bro.
>Low self-esteem and depression
Red flag, especially now with this tinder junk. She will seek attention for anywhere.
>Her ex was abusive
Once again i'm assuming she told you this. If you have seen evidence of this first hand then ignore my observation. This stuff could have been told to play on your 'good guy' mode, causing you to not want to be 'that guy' by never challenging her and basically succumbing to her every need.
>I caught her lying about a guy friend, claiming he was a girl. Her ex was real controlling and didn't allow her to have guy friends so she assumed I'd be the same.
While this understandable, she still lied to you.
>First 3 months of the relationship she wasn't upfront with her friends or family that we were dating, claiming that they wouldn't approve of her being in a new relationship
Yea, nah. By not letting her friends/senpai know about her new commitment with you, she was still free to look for other partners and be open about it with them.
>She was also drinking a lot during this time and at times suicidal.
Flag
>When I found out she wasn't telling people we were together.
Does she tell you anything?
>She also never hid her phone from me and let me use it plenty of times.
This could be straight up innocence or it could be lack of concern.
>She really may have not known or been using it as a dating/hooking up app.
As others have said, no way is this possible. Besides you mentioned before she has friends, so why tinder? If she was looking for people who share any specific hobby she has, there are other ways of doing so, without using what is marketed as "World's most popular dating app".
>>16529710
>Gets Tindr
>2015
>says she thought its used to get friends and not for sex
>cu/cks OP
Congrats OP you are a professional cu/ck
Noticed any odd behavior in the rest of the relationship?
