So, I've been friends with this chick I met on a forum for a good.... 3-4 years now. Anyway to cut to the chase, yes, feelings got involved, I liked her, she liked me, I feel in love with her, she got a bf, drama happened, took a break, I got over it, and we kept casual friendly contact with her.
Basically, we used to be really close before feelings got too... cumbersome, would share pretty much everything, write long ass messages to each other, talk everyday, share intimate photos, etc...
And after, we became more distant, but that's fine plenty of girls out there, etc... but we were still friends, and message each other like once or twice a year, have a bit of a catch up, talk vidya or whatever, and then return to our usual lives. And it was cool.
But until about.... Jan of this year, she suddenly felt a bit more hostile. I messaged her, and her usual sarcastic snark was more mean spirited, like she was pissed. Figured she was having a mood swing or w/e since she's bipolar, so I just let be.
Come back to the forum a few months later, and send her a message. Weeks pass by, and it goes unread. Since I notice she's active, I tell a mututal friend to message her casually, and see if she replies. She does, and she called him out at some point, and tells him to be honest and tell her if he messaged her cause of me.
So here I figure I'm defo being deliberately ignored. Can't quité wrap my head around it, and when my friend asked her about it, she just have him a nonanswer referring to the drama from the fallout we had like two years prior.
I shrug, and figure she'd get over it.
Fast forward to about a month ago, where I casually send her a message about something pertsining to her interests, and... still ignored.
Sucks, but she doesn't owe you friendship. Let it go. She knows how to reach you if her feelings change
And now, it's kinda irksome. Since I can't wrap my head around what I could have possiblly done to piss this chick off do much she flat out wants nothing to do with me. I mean, bear in mind, we were very close and intimate friends for some time. And this sort of action is something you'd do to someone who did something really serious.
Like, if she wanted to just cut off all contact with me, or whatever, she could just tell me. I'd stop messaging her, but to inexplicably ignore someone like that for pretty much nearly a year. It baffles the ever living fuck outta me.
I should note that prior to December, the last talk I had with her was last year, wishing her a Happy birthday, and then showing her somoe ohotos from a trip I was having in Japan right at that same time. And prior to that it was a Skype call we had like almost two years ago where we put an end to all the back and forth from the drama and whatnot.
It's just really bizzare to me.
Any ideas?
I'd message and ask her what the fuck is up, but again, she's not reading my messages.My only option would be to publically call her out and tell her to PM me and tell what it is I did to piss her off so much. But I can't be bothered desu. Had enough of that shit two years ago.
Like I said, if she just wants me to stop messaging her altogether for whatever reason, it's fine. She need only tell me.
But she's never said anything of the sort, and only till around Dec did her attitude totally change. Nothing that's happened in the past two years even compares to the shit that went down during the drama and stuff. So i'm just baffled. And moreover, considering her mood swing and flaky nature messaged going unread for long periods of time is par to the course. So how am I even supposed to figure that shit out? Only reason i figured out i was being ignored is cause I got a suspicion of it, and asked a friend to cobfirm it for me.
>>17370332
This. You are being ghosted. You will probably never know why. I am sorry, but the least horrendous course of action is to let her go. Anything else will only make this worse.
>>17370332
Yeah, fine. But I'd like to know Why.
Forget the genders. Make it a male friend, and if they did that shit to me I'd be wondering the same thing.
Because when someone ignores you like that, it implies youve hurt them a great deal, or some misunderstanding perhsps, and you'd at least like to clear that up if posible.
>>17370348
What could possiblly be worse than being totally cut off?
I mean, from there on, there's nothing really left to lose.
>>17370358
You clearly don't have much experience with women yet. This is par for the course. They never give a reason.
I'll give you the reason, though. She's not attracted to you, she KNOWS you still have feelings for her, so she knows perfectly well that this "friendship" isn't ever gonna end up anywhere good. You told her how you felt, and she didn't feel the same way. That usually ends a friendship. It just gets awkward after that
>>17370364
>What could possiblly be worse than being totally cut off?
>I mean, from there on, there's nothing really left to lose.
...I guess that's true, if you have no pride or self-respect, and no regard for her feelings or her wishes
>>17370369
Listen pal... I've probably slept with more girls this past year than you have your whole life.
Things with this girl didnt just happen, I actively went out of my way to seduce her after seeing a photo of her and realizibg she was actually hot, and succeed. Succeeded mind you in a situation where I could pretty much only write. It was an ego thing, and I wound up falling for her too because I was in scarcity at the time. In the end, she was the one who insisted she wanted to remain friends, and it was my personal decision to take a step back to get over her.
I know fully well the intimate friebdship I had with her is long dead, and never coming back. But in the same way you still maintain contact with some exes because you still care about their lives, and want whats best for them, it's the same here.
This is not a "boohoo, how can I get her back?" This is a "Why did this person who expressed genuine care for me suddenly start ignoring me?"
Look, if she wants to hold some grudge, or move on, or whatever, that's her business, and that's totally fine. But there are better ways to going about that than ghosting someone, this isnt middle school, we're both adults.
The only times I've been ignored by a chick like this is when they've legit been butthurt about something, and even in those cases, most get over it after a year, and then go back to talking to me.
>>17370432
I don't know your history with this girl, so if there's some larger thing you did to upset her, I don't know how to tell you what it was.
But I'm pretty damn sure she's capable of replying to a message if she wants to. She doesn't want to. So maybe even though you had a connection in the past, she doesn't care to keep you in her life. She doesn't want to check in occasionally, she doesn't want to hear from you. She does not care. Is that really so inconceivable to you?
Let it go
