I think there's something wrong with me, but I don't know what it is. I can't handle losing people.
I broke up with a long term girlfriend over Christmas. We had a very toxic relationship and I really didn't care about her. There was no love and although we tried to make it work we just ended up arguing. Then, a few weeks before Christmas, she ended it. Just said she couldn't do it any more. Suddenly, all my ambivalence left me and losing her became the most crushing thing in my life. For a month, all I could do was drink Whiskey and play video games. I was a mess over someone I didn't really want. I just couldn't cope with her leaving.
Later on, I hooked up with a woman called Jen. We saw each other casually for a while and it was all good fun, but we knew it wasn't going to last. We had very different aspirations and outlooks on life. I even said to friends it was a casual thing for when University is over. Then, when we said our goodbyes I cried like a baby. We had long talks about maybe making it work, but ultimately not. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, like I was losing the love of my life over someone who was a casual fling.
I don't have an issue with rejection, I meet it constantly as part of my job. Why is it when partners move on, no matter how much I want to see them gone at the time, they suddenly become gold dust and I beg them to stay and it tears me apart emotionally.
The worst part? My ex, Jen and another girl I'm still talking to all three trying to "make it work". I have no plan on how I can do that, I have to let at least 2 of them go, and I know if I don't fix this, more will be added as time goes on.
What is going on?
>>17369333
Man up.
>>17369351
Real mature.
Next.
>>17369333
you genuinely sound like a bitch
nice trips tho
>>17369364
My inability to cope with losing someone fits the MO of a bitch, but I'm far from it.
My life fucking rules and initially I have no problem saying goodbye to partners, but over the next few days I can't control it.
One night stands, people who are just friends, bereavement, ultimately couldn't give a shit. It's just how it is. But if it's a relationship of any kind, I can't face it. It's irrational, which is what makes it the hardest.
>>17369351
>>17369364
Are right. You're a little bitch. Instead of trying to fix yourself by external validation, work on yourself. Self improvement is the only real dating advice.
>>17369353
>I really didn't care about her
>losing her became the most crushing thing in my life
>>17369333
> I meet it constantly as part of my job
Just because you have to do something for a job does not mean that you are ok with it in your personal life.
People leaving you just confirms to you what a loser you are. You don't really miss them, you miss not being in a relationship.
Tl;dr = man up.
Abandonment issues? Like maybe you see them as your mother? You definitely get attached and dependent on them. It's good you know what's up.
>>17369414
I was never abandoned by anyone, I'm close to both my parents (although, it's not always been that way).
Thank you for not jumping on the bandwagon. The rest of these fags doesn't seem to understand "irrational".
>>17369429
It can even be perceived abandonment.
>(although, it's not always been that way).
Mind expanding on that?
>>17369442
Had an extremely rough time at school. Left at 16. Had an enormous argument with my mother and left home at 17. Had two failed business plans and I realized I needed a degree.
I started going back to education and my parents offered help as an olive branch. I graduated as a mature student a few days ago and I've reconciled with my family again. I'm proud to say I've never asked for help. I've taken help where it's been offered, but it's been all me.
I think my mother and I had very similar personalities and we just clashed. Headstrong, let's put it that way.
>>17369453
Thought you were going to talk about your childhood. Tell me how both parents were during childhood. Did they fulfilled your emotional needs?
Why was school an extremely rough time?
>>17369464
My mother is not affectionate at all. Very headstrong, business minded. When I was younger she was very highly strung and arrogant, but she's mellowed out 100% since then. Completely different person.
My father was always the calm voice of reason. I think he raised his voice to me only a few times. Always cheerful.
A lot emotionally was lacking, but it wasn't like it was a bad upbringing. I could have been the most miserable kid in school, but as long as I was getting A's my mother wouldn't really have cared.
My tough time in school came from a group of kids got it into their heads that I was gay and bullied me to the point I tried to jump out of a window.
>>17369333
the people you have a relationship with give you an identity of sorts. You became used to the life style of them being part of your life. You probably feel shit because you dont know what to do with yourself outside of the life style you have created. i think i have explained this poorly but meh, i tried.
>>17369487
I think you're right. I should stop and just be alone for a while.
It's not like I have a problem with being single. Being single can be awesome. But yeah, I appreciate you talking about it a little more than you know.
>>17369472
I'm sorry to hear that you were bullied. You sound firm and strong from what and how you write, so I think you did good for yourself.
Kindly read this and see if it applies:
http://baarsinstitute.com/emotional-deprivation-disorder/
>>17369500
Goddamn.
Thank you.
>>17369353
>>17369380
You're the biggest bitch I've ever encountered and you're making excuses for it
Lol
>>17369574
Bad news is that it's incurable unless from
a) a partner or friend who really loves you and will give you that amount of love you need
b) a therapist, whom you basically pay to love you.
I'd stay out of relationships until you see a therapist.
>>17369333
You badly want to have someone and can't be alone
You probably got nothing to live for.
Because everyday when you wake up and look in the mirror and see that toothless,hoosier old Deliverance motherfucker staring back at ya, You got no reason to live.
