>Me, male in 20s
>born in a very religious family
>pretend to be religious for "reasons"
>anti social
>long story short, parents needs their son to be successful, married and etc
>How can I get married, I'm emotionally unstable and don't want to hurt anyone
>I admit I'm not that handsome, 3/10 honestly
> I don't see myself anything special
> Got a secure job, that my parents wants me too but too depressed
>All of my friends are successful and I'm not
> I want to be true to myself, doing the things that I proud off n perhaps, enjoy
> Hate myself for trying n keep falling, but ultimately, there's nothing can compare the joy of seeing the work you work ur ass off n get paid for it, even if the pay is so little.
> but this kind of live is tiring
>Got to please my boss, parents and myself.
> When I try to sleep, anxiety creeps in n I worried about all thing.
> Death, loneliness, someone to love
> I be honest to myself, saying that heaven doesn't exist and I probably would die alone at 50.
> I have no special someone or best friend.
Move out and do your own things.
You're male so the likelihood of your parents killing you for not living up to expectations is extremely slim.
>>17368624
Go read (or listen) to "no more mr nice guy" by Robert Glover, you can torrent it if need be. You sound like someone the books is written for, sacrificing yourself to please others and then wondering why you're dissatisfied with your life at the end of a day. Make you own path and satisfy your own wants and needs. If you lose friends/family on the way so be it, true friends and family want abandon someone trying to fulfil their basic wants.
OP, your pic hits me right in the feels
First off, use "and" instead of "n". I can't take you seriously n shit
>>17368624
>I want to be true to myself, doing the things that I proud off n perhaps, enjoy
Then do those things. The only thing that keeps you from that is fear. Literally.
Sometimes it is deeply rooted fear.
Sometimes saying "I just want to play video games" means one's afraid to go outside and try new things.
Sometimes hating yourself, seeing everyone else as succesful is a way to ease the feeling of shame for fearing to do things that would make you successful.
It all comes down to fear of actually DOING SHIT.
>22
>Just graduated community college
>Only time I ever lived away from home was on a farm out east and it was an overall horrible experience
>29 days until I move to University on other side of state
>Dad's health and marriage on decline, won't have me around to have his back
>Mom going in for surgery on Friday, will still be recovering by time I move
>Little brother almost as depressed as I am because he won't have me to hang out with
>My dog knows I won't be back for a long time, she just knows
>Will be thrust from the safety and comfort of home to the unsureness of university life
>Anxious as hell not knowing whether loans will even be enough for housing
>Don't know if I'm even prepared enough to start these classes
>Have literally no connections at the university beyond the access services counselor assigned to me
>Anxious about whether or not the state service that pays for my tuition (but not room & board) will drop the ball like they have in the past and put me in massive debt
>Eyesight getting worse
>Health getting worse
>Urge to just kill myself now and save myself the suffering increases with every sleepless night
>Ex insists she's happy in her decision to leave me for a heroin addict that beats her
>Current gf and I are stuck repeating the same fucking things every day it's like a fucking schedule
>Probably won't even see my best friend in the world who saw me through several suicide attempts before I leave because of his work schedule
Just fuck my life up senpai
>>17368704
>falling for the college meme
College isn't for everyone homie. If it just stresses you out to the point of debating suicide, it might not be for you.
>>17368724
I have nothing else I can do anon. It's my only hope of getting out of this house and living in anything other than a homeless shelter. In the end I'm just going to lose my eyesight and live in a world of endless darkness anyway so no matter what I do my life will be hell.
