Is there any way to MAKE a person grow up once they're already adults? My sister is turning 24 and uses her depression as an excuse to not take responsibility or do anything constructive at all, ever. She lives with mom and rarely contributes to household chores, while throwing sobbing tantrums whenever she's confronted. She's rude and disrespectful to mom and won't even pretend to be grateful for her not throwing her sorry ass out. Her bullshit is really putting a strain on out family.
Kill their friends and family
>>17368345
Treat them like an adult. If they don't accept it then ignore them, the best thing you can do otherwise is let them face the difficulties of life which force them to mature.
>>17368376
She lives with mom for no rent. No difficulties of life touch her, save for the occasional self-pitying sobbing fits.
>>17368345
>Is there any way to MAKE a person grow up
Fuck you. You sound judgemental as fuck.
People don't use their depression, they suffer from it.
>>17368470
Let me know when you figure what that thing in your head is for.
Your sister needs to see a professional. It is the professional's job to restore her to a functioning state.
>>17368474
>Let me know when you figure what that thing in your head is for.
I did. I'm letting you know.
Let me know when you figure what that thing in your chest is for. No, not literally.
>>17368477
"It's taking longer than expected."
inb4 what
gn 4c
>>17368345
>Is there any way to MAKE a person grow up once they're already adults?
Nothing reliable. The process of growing up never becomes truly impossible, but after a certain optimal window it becomes uncontrollable. It will happen when it happens: probably in the wake of some traumatic event, but you can't traumatize her and expect that to work either (more often than not it won't).
There's no surefire way, no. People can still grow up at any age - indeed because of some traumatic event, or because of a straw that breaks the camel's back (like the so manyth friend telling them off) causing them to really reflect on how they've lived their life. If your sister has some inner drive to hold herself to standards, even when depressed there will be a point where she gets sick of living her life the way she does now.
However, practical course of action: letting depressed people mope around is the absolutely worst course of action. Taking on small responsibilities (like helping out with chores) is one of the first steps to both getting out of your head a bit and taking yourself more seriously. It is just deeply ingrained in humans that it feels good to do a job you're supposed to do, no matter how terrible it seems when you're procrastinating. Stuff like cooking or gardening is excellent because it forces you to be involved with your body and surroundings and not just the echo chamber in your head.
Also, sleeping too long (like 9+ hours a night) will actually make you depressed, and will make her state worse.
Do proper research on this so you can back it up with sources, show it to your mother and form a team to get your sister to start trying to get a grip on things.
>>17368345
We as people never stop growing mentally, though you can also regress.I myself wouldn't consider myself grown up even though I have money saved, my own car, and live away from my parents. Hell, my peers don't consider me an adult either.
As for your sister, she definitely needs to start making her own way through life, but she needs to start setting goals for herself. If she's genuinely depressed to the point where she can't function she needs to see a therapist.
>>17368557
What counts as traumatic?
>>17368587
She throws a crying fit if you try to make her do anything.
She *does* hold herself up to some standards, but unfortunately they're too high for virtually anyone to achieve, at all, ever. And since she can't be a child progidy genius engineer world changer, she'll rather be a tragic Lost Potential than just fucking admit that she was never that smart to begin with and just get a job.
>>17368628
She's been seeing a therapist for a good couple of years now. She's still bitter that I've outgrown her, I've got a job and a romantic history and prospects of a future and everything.
The part where I've grit my teeth and settled for what I can get has been completely lost to her.
>>17368665
If you've got a job, romance, and goals I'd say you haven't settled at all. If you continue as you are there's nothing to say you won't find further success. Perhaps your sister has settle hence her lack of progress with depression but you haven't.
Ultimately, I'd say you care for your sister but if looking at her failure brings you discomfort then you may eventually need to cut ties with her emotionally.
People don't change unless something drastic happens to them. Something needs to prompt your sister to get a move on with her life.
Here's the thing: a lot of people in their 20s feel like they can put off life because they still have all the time in the world. So they wind up living at home and working stupid jobs they don't care about, like barista-ing through their 20s. These people are telling themselves that everything will come together in their 30s, when they need a job. The problem is, by the time they get to their 30s all their experience will be in barista-ing (in this example). They won't be fit for their chosen field, and they'll be competing with people their age who already have a decade of education and/or experience, or with people who are just as good as them but a decade younger, and therefor more dynamic. So they'll find themselves stuck in the service industry, or they'll be stuck doing really low level jobs, and either way they'll be dissatisfied with work and have to keep taking money from their parents.
It's not too late for your sister. 4 years from now it still won't be too late. But once she reaches 30, the doors for the dreams she's telling herself she can pursue will start to close, and anything she tries to do in life will be an uphill battle.
Your sister needs a wake up call. She needs to get moving and advance in life now.
t. in my late 20s, and many of my friends' dreams are dying
>>17368665
>What counts as traumatic?
Lots of things can count as traumatic. Not all of them are even necessarily bad things: getting a new job, graduating from school, and getting married are traumatic, yet few people would call them negative experiences.
The common thread, really, is a sudden and dramatic change on life situation. Nothing can ever be as it was, and your only options are to adapt or die. Fortunately for humans, adapting is what we do best: we literally evolved to do it. But sometomes even we need a push.
However, traumatizing soneone is still a reckless thing to do. There IS another option in the face of trauma, and some people do choose it. This turns forcing the issue into a very dangerous game.
>>17368470
Lesser people will use every crutch they can get. It becomes a game of not giving them more.
Been there, technically still am. I still act right.
You can't control your sister or anyone else . She's getting treatment for her illness. You're not helping her or your mom by stepping into the middle of the situation. Leave her be rather than be a douchebag to your sister.
>>17368687
I've settled for shit jobs, shit partners and done all I can for goals I can't reach because unlike her I know what I deserve.
>>17368702
She doesn't have any dreams. You can't play videogames for a living.
>>17368470
F A G G O T
A
G
G
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>>17368923
>You can't play videogames for a living.
https://www twitch tv/directory/all
