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Abuser
Childhood trauma
2016-07-18 05:09:39 Post No. 17367885
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Childhood trauma
Abuser
2016-07-18 05:09:39
Post No. 17367885
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I fucking hate myself. When I was younger and lived with my mother and stepfather with my 4 little siblings, all of which were children of my stepfather, I was so fucking cruel to my oldest little brother, verbally and physically abusing him while treating my other siblings with so much love, I loved him too. But with both of my parent figures being drug addicted pieces of shit who fought (verbally) and got drunk and high to the point of being basically dead every fucking night and me being the 15 year old oldest child having to take care of all my siblings I guess I abused him to vent, at the time I didn't know that's what I was doing. One night my stepfather attempted to beat my mother to death in front of me while all my siblings were asleep, I called the cops and my mother barely survived, but I was permanently damaged with the sight of my mother bleeding from her face and neck profusely, I went to live with my dad after this, and my siblings went to live with their father, 2 years of being homeless with my methhead dad pass and he gets locked up, I was with one of his friends at the time so I stayed there until they kicked me out because they suspected me of doing drugs in their home, which I never did, drugs and alcohol fucking ruined my life I'm fucking terrified of the shit. Every day after being separated from my siblings I fucking hated myself because i finally realized how I treated my brother, I feared that he would remember me as nothing but an abusive brother, after being kicked out I moved in with my mother's parents, my grandma and my abusive piece of shit grandfather. My grandmother shows me pictures on Facebook of my siblings and how they're doing, apparently failing school and homeless with their piece of shit father, I have to put on a face pretending I'm not dying inside just from pictures of them, turns out all 4 of my siblings were diagnosed with PTSD as well as me, my brother remembers me as abusive.