>>17366786
>>Due to conflicting ideals and actions between these two I find myself a lot of times in the middle and I'm forced to chose either one side or the other, consequently hurting the other.

You're going to have to expand on this. Why don't they get along?

>>17366786
Without explanation, I would choose gf. Your family has raised you and been great to you, but it's your life now and your significant other should be by far the most important person in your life. You'll be with her for the rest of your life but your time living with your family is finite.

>>17366794
>Gf believes that the relationship is the priority and then comes everyone else
>Family believes in shared time between gf, friends and family

>Gf thinks I should live off on my own (or with her) and grow as a person
>Family believes we should all stick together and help one another grow

>Gf thinks that instead of having an organized future and focusing on my career, I should live my live and do as I feel, experience the now, do another job if I have to as long as I'm happy
>Family thinks that organizing my career future is whats most important for me, so I can be independent as a person , do my thing and support those I love and will love in the future.

>Been in situations where my gf has said "If you love me drop everything and come see me"
>Been in situations where family has told me "Your gf is abnormal and she is poisoning you, you have become depressed"

>Been in situations where my gf has said "I would give all my life for you"
>Been in situations where family has told me "No matter what you chose we will always love you and support you"

All my friends are telling me that this relationship is poisonous and I have lost myself in it. I am no longer a happy and optimistic person. But on the other hand my gf is like this because she has been through a horrible past of abuse and even so she has changed into a better person even since we started dating. In the end its up to me. But I'm interested in hearing about other peoples experiences.

>>17366846
1: Gf wins, she should be your main priority.
2. ((Subjective response)) I don't think you should move in with her until you're married, and there's no reason for you to live on your own if you can save cash living with your family.
3. You don't need to be independent, you and your significant other should be dependent on each other, rely on each other. There's no hard 'yes' or 'no' in this though. Put family first, work second, but your career still matters and your livelihood.
4. "If you love me drop everything and come see me." That's a trap demand, you should prioritize her, but that doesn't mean everything else needs to stop always. Let her know that that behavior is bullshit, unless she is in dire need for one reason or another. (2) Your family is caring after you, and you should recognize what they say and take it into consideration, but in the end it's your life, choose what you think is best.
5. Try not to find yourself in a situation where you and/or your gf need to lose everything for the other. You should still act in consideration of your SO with everything you do if you think she's the one.
6. You're not married, she is not entitled to you. If everyone is saying your gf is toxic, chances are she is. You need to evaluate the way you treat each other and the way you respond to each other. You can't date her with expectations to change her, be with her for what she is not what she can be, be with her for you, not for her.

>>17366846
I watched TED and second movie. Skipping that they are not-so-great comedies (but still good) Main character had a problem. He had to choose if he wanna stay with his childhood, his life and lifestyle, or if he wants to start new life with his gf. Ar the beginning of TED2 Same character is divorced now, after happy ending.. He said that he has changed for her, that in the end he wasnt the same person he was before.

TL;DR: Never change (too much of) your life for your lover.