Hello anons, take the time of the day and love yourself, because if we don't start, we can't expect others to do the same for us.
Sure sometimes things maybe terrible and are out of control. But take that first step, and love youself. No matter what you think you are, there's bound to be parts of yourself that you love
Go on and get lovin'
Pic unrelated
Tell em
My nigga
Neat sentiment, but despite any accuracy it's devoid of even basic utility.
I haven't slept in 35 hours, it's 11:38 am, and I'm going to continue keeping myself awake with stimulants while drugging myself into apathy with sedatives.
>>17365879
I don't get it, are you loving yourself with that action or nah?
>>17365932
Both and neither.
I hope the ride may end cleanly, and sooner than later.
>>17365869
Thanks OP I'll do muh best to love at least a part of me
>>17365869
Needed to hear that. Thank you. Second day sober, awake for almost 24 hours. That made a difference. Thank you.
>>17365869
I woke up 30min ago and have loved myelf twice already....it needs a rest.
>>17365879
Lay off the stims. They retard your emotional responsiveness to stuff even more than the benzos. Seriously, just quit. Sleep deprivation and stimulant use go together like water and oil, or gasoline and fire; use whatever metaphor you want.
Stop taking the stims, ween with the sedatives, then ween off of them. Seek psychiatric help, actually be honest with your doctor. I know people personally who abuse stims and they just look like zombies with the meth-sweats. It took me six years of hardcore, everyday use to finally give out.
Shit always gets worse before it gets better, but it DOES get better. Stims make me have to compartmentalize and categorize every facet of how I felt, thought, and acted. That isn't life.
It gets easier, you have to start, that's the hard part, but it gets easier.
It isn't worth the brain damage, memory loss, and overall health detriments that a lot of people go through in the process of numbing themselves to the world.
You're more than your circumstances. Make the change, you always can. It is and always will be the furthest thing from impossible.
>>17365938
I found that I needed a reset day when I've gone too far back in my sleep schedule (sleeping at 5-8am due to drugs).
It's harmful in the short term but in the long run I hope to correct it.
>>17366123
It's only caffeine and phenylethylamine. I used to do quite a bit of dextroamphetamine and went to the brink of amphetamine psychosis, but it's been years. My observations were very similar to your owns, and there are a number of illusions to sort through before you genuinely realize. The sedatives are either phenibut or kava, I wouldn't mess with actual benzodiazepines and have seen too many people increase their dosage to the point of being functionally zombies besides. Spent a year and a half blackout drunk at least 3 days per week, but in the words of some novel I "got sick and tired of being sick and tired."
Otherwise, I've been a lot of people, and tried a lot of things. And I'm tired, and apathetic. With chronic pain and a history miserable enough that I can't find common ground to connect with anyone or share how I've lived up until now, no matter what I do, no matter where I go, on some level I'm pretty well fucked for life. I can't even eat out at restaurants because I'm allergic to common ingredients in most food. While I feel fine going and just not ordering anything the rare points I'm with anyone else, they never are.
I've newly acquired 40K in debt. I saw this coming, but am unprepared nonetheless. I can't find work. So now not only am I problems, but the walls are closing in externally as well.
I just do what I do. I don't care much if I live or die off. I can only use myself until I fizzle out or find the means to become something else. At 22 the means for the latter could be widening, but feels as though it's narrowing. Anyway. I appreciate the post. I feel like I'm apart from most aspects of the world and having someone try to connect isn't a common experience.
>>17366091
>>17366103
No matter happens, just know that I'm proud of you both. I might just be an anon, but hearing that makes me really happy. So keep that lovin' going. Spread that shit you based individuals.
How do I love myself?
>>17367301
Masturbate intensely, passionately, tenderly, and with lotion.
>>17367312
I already do that.
