You're married to your job. It happens. Don't worry about it.

>>17365123
I'm surprised at myself for never considering it that way. Thanks.

I'm the same age. I'm lonely as all fucking hell, and people constantly make fun of me for not being married. Fuck this.

>>17365116
Kinda like this? I'm in a relationship now after having been single for 8 years. 30 years old. I still want to get married and raise a money vampire or two, but it's not important like it used to be anymore. I'm comfortable being single and I don't worry about chasing women who want to play games.

>>17365201
Might I ask what you do for a living? Do you want a relationship?

>>17365213
>money vampire
Cracked up at that one. But hey, congratulations. That seems like a solid place to be. I was in a serious relationship in my early 20's, and it felt as good and convincing as things would get. I'm just not enthralled by the thought of commitment. It sounds nice, but I'm just more satisfied without it. "Married to my job" as the first anon said, in a society where it seems so backwards.

>>17365116
Go play Catherine. It'll make you feel happy about your life decisions of not getting involved with women

>>17365223
Reading description now. Looks rather interesting. Thanks-- might just dust off the ol' PS3

>>17365222
I used to be an accountant, but now I'm a financial advisor. I would legitimately murder people to be married to a woman I love.

>>17365226
Doesn't sound like a bad line of work. It's clear though, and strongly at that, that being a bachelor isn't what you want. Have you taken any steps to changing your current situation?

>>17365229
Actually I was rejected for being too poor when I was an accountant by one of the only women I've met that I've liked. My problem is that I can't find women I like. I'm open to LDR at this point.

>>17365232
I can't speak on behalf of all LDR, but in my experience, it was pretty difficult. I'm sorry for your predicament, and for what happened back when you were an accountant.

It's a stretch, but what about the dating sites that match you based on common interests and such? It might be a step in the right direction.

>>17365234
I suppose I'm open to dating site recommendations. I tried OKC, but I didn't have any luck.

>>17365237
I've never used them myself, but I have friends who vouch for "Match" and "Coffee Meets Bagel". Back when I was more inclined to date, I would just go out to bars and try to meet people. Had some good days, had some bad ones. Seemed somewhat more organic though...at the very least it was a nice way to meet new people.

>>17365241
Coffee Meets Bagel would be a terrible idea for me because I only use social networking for work, and I am working on a bot to handle my Facebook account anyway, and there is no possibility of me being even remotely honest about myself on Facebook.

I'll check out match.com, thanks.

>>17365253
No problem. I hope it all works out for you.

>>17365223
>It'll make you feel happy about your life decisions of not getting involved with women
Kind of a weird conclusion to reach about that game. Vincent wasn't exactly a stand up kind of guy, his problems were mostly self inflicted.

>>17365241
>"Coffee Meets Bagel".
What makes this different from stuff like okcupid? I heard of Bumble where women are supposed to chat guys up first, but it died out as I understand.

>>17365268
CMB only matches through Facebook friends

>>17365225
Not him but it's a really good game, one of the pstriple's hidden gems.

>>17365116
At your age there are not going to be many unmarried straight men around. (Some, but not many). Your pool is made up largely of older (40+, even 50+) men, divorced. men, and perhaps the occasional toyboy..

>>17365371
Read the OP again. Read it carefully until you understand how you fucked up.

I'm 29. I turn 30 next month. Single.

I'm not lonely or unhappy - I'm finally coming into my own and have a stable financial situation. I can probably meet some amazing girl in her mid twenties at some point that is happy that I actually have my life together.

Most of the guys that I know that are married or have kids are miserable. They're tired, they're stuck with some chick that has gotten fat, they have to chase down their kids when they come home instead of watching the game, going out for some drinks, or going on vacation. They all envy me.

But, I live in a city that's more tailor made for this kind of thing. In a smaller town, it might suck, I don't know...

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>>17365116
>>17365393

30yo here, engineer, self employed, never gf

I work too much and I eat too much. I'm working on both continuosly, but career comes first. My financial situation is very good right now, but not stable enough for a family. Women are distracting, full of bullshit and a financial liability.

And since I'm not good looking at all (ok face + fatboobs), I have to work hard to keep them around, all while I actually really don't enjoy female company. It's a waste of time unless you are interested in making children.
For me that will be the case in about 3-5 years.

I sometimes feel lonely in a romantic sense but then I go running or hire a prostitute. I think I can pull that lifestyle off for another 2-3 years, but then I might really need someone.

yep, I'm good. I have my own plan and nobody has a say in it.
Not all guys in my peer group are married. Mostly the ones that learned trades married in their mid-twenties. About half of the ones with a degree marry right now, around 30.

The ones with kids _are_ happy, but it always kind of looks like they were lured into it by their spouse and they don't even realize it. But that's kind of natural I think.

39 here. Life in my 30s have actually been the best, far better than in my 20s. Except for one relationship that lasted 6 months, I've been single all of my 30s. And I've enjoyed life in many ways you couldn't as a married man. I have had girls, can still easily get girls, and general I just enjoy life.

Not saying I won't settle down and get married one day if i find the right girl. But so far I haven't. So, make best of your situation. Remember that you can do whatever the fuck you want, when your friends will not be able to go out because of their wife/kids.

27 here, split from my first serious relationship just over a year ago.

Hurt like hell at first but being single has granted me so many opportunities to improve in all areas of life. Currently going back into education to start a career in human prosthetics. Had I of still been in the relationship I would of been fat, skint and stuck in my average job.

If you can look past the stigma that not having a woman means you're somewhat broken as a man, then you can only benefit from being single.

Times have changed and finding a girl who realises that relationships and love are often hard and extremely trying for the both of you, is harder now than ever. We have a throw away culture, if it's broke then don't fix it, just replace it.

Persevere.

>>17365223
>play a weeb game

What kind of fucking advice is that? Especially since jap games and anime have literally no idea how adult relationships work.

I would absolutely love to become a scientist of some sort. I am 21 and never had a gf longer than one day because I didn't talk or listen much to the girl that was interested in me and now I can't find what I once had, I am so alone right now, but I know that it's for me to love myself first. I want to make money for me and her to enjoy romances together. I have a sexual perversion and feel that I will never get to experience a close body, it seems so far away that I would tremble and run if I was in the situation although I doubt it, but I feel so inexperienced being this old and never even kissed a girl before. It's sad to be so close in my younger years and now it seems I am in a dating pool that has dried up. I don't want children just endless love from a woman that is young and can spend a lifetime doing it all forever.

>>17365223
>>17365351
Not OP but what is the game about?

>>17365499
>>17365459
>>17365456
What advice would you guys give to young men?

>>17365550
Don't sweat it. Enjoy your life. Don't take things like sex and relationships seriously if you aren't in one.

>>17365123
This.

>>17365593
Thanks I'll remember that, anything else?

I think there's a lot of generalizations here about being in a relationship, marriage, and having kids. Every situation is different. There's tons of people who are in relationships and don't have kids and are perfectly happy. I hear alot of stories how a lot of fathers bond with their son and you can see there face light up. Or married couples who's kids have grown up and left the house and their happy they have each other to enjoy and the rest of their life without raising anymore kids. But my point is it's about communication with others on what you want. I personally want and value a relationship that's meaningful to me because at the end of the day, anybody can do my job and the person who I matter most to is going remember me and love me, as I will to them. Have you ever visit nursing homes? It's the old cute farts who have been married and there significant other has died who are the happiest to talk and can go on and on. But point being, if you decide you prefer having a career single and older, that's great, you do what makes you happy. There is no need to be negative about the other option. No need to justify why being single is better than being in a relationship. Obviously, coming on this board, you were questionable . But just do what you value

>>17365381
I lol'd so jovially

Good morning folks. OP here, and I'd love to reply to these.

>>17365393
Happy early birthday, buddy. I'm also a city boy and-- well damn, isn't it amazing? The world is vibrant out there, the night life is great. I agree that in a smaller town, it would be more difficult. Speculation of course, but I think that's reasonable. Cheers!

>>17365456
I admire your being self-employed. Kudos! I like your outlook indeed, and the grasp you clearly have on it since you've got your plans going forward. I used to eat too much in accordance with my busy work, but now I've added going to a gym to my schedule. It's just made life a bit more routined. Great thing to do in the mornings! I wish you the best.

>>17365459
Cheers. Thanks for that. I do see a lot of traveling in my near future.

>>17365499
Beautifully said. Bravo in moving on. I have a comparable story.
The years-long relationship I was in when I was in my early 20's had me in a similar rut. We were slated to get married, live in a small town, have children, we wrote it all down. I would have been an obese, heavy drinker in an untenable situation if I stuck around that long (as that was already what I was becoming). When I broke off from that, although it was very painful, my life did open up tremendously. Anyway, thanks again for your post.

>>17365539
>21
I am jealous of you, buddy. I'd love to have specialized in chemistry (do chemistry). Well of course, pick a science that works well for you.
I'm assuming you're in college, so I would suggest you go out there and meet people. Always be confident (or act confident), and you might just attract that woman of your dreams.

>>17365732
Thank you for your post--that is a very important message at the end of the day. I used to do med passes at nursing homes, so yes, I have seen what meaningful relationships and legacies look like. Granted, I also met a guy in his 90's who had never been married and seemed perfectly happy about it. So yes, I will definitely do what I value. Cheers.

>>17365116
I'm the same, your age, but a single woman. The pressure is quite similar (with the added bonus of people reminding me my eggs are nearing their sell-by date and nobody will want me later anyhow).

Relationships are a fucking time sink though and very few are based on a mutual appreciation. People want another person by their side to fulfil a certain social role, that of wife, girlfriend, or mother or their children, and dating is just auditioning each other to see how well you fulfil that. It seems the classic pattern and to me that is simply a chore and a very untruthful way of relation to each other. People who are absolutely interesting in and off themselves are very rare and it seems like you'd rather be alone if that's not the sort of thing you can have. Just going through the motions is a timesink, and I agree. If one day you find a woman you do like, you will naturally find some space in your life for her. You'll want to be with her and things will shift accordingly. Right now you are focussing on jobs and research, and there is no space. That's just as good a life choice than any other.

The trouble mostly comes from the social expectations, people who decide to walk a life path alone are still regarded as weird. We're told you're supposed to want to put friends and family first. Most often being single past a certain age is linked to you having a character defect, just like not wanting children or a family, or not giving a shit about your own family gets you branded as being a selfish, deficient human being. If you can deal with the social stigma, usually you turn out fine. People who can't and at some point break under the pressure end up jumping in missmatched relationships with people whose only saving grace was that they were available.

>>17365899
Wow, very well articulated. I agree with everything just as you stated it.

Sorry as well, perhaps on behalf of society, for the expectations that imposed upon you and other women. Women aren't breeding mules with depreciating human capital. Cheers to our age group. I hope you're very much enjoying your lief and the things you do. Thanks for taking the time to respond to this thread.

>>17365899

All of this. All of it.

>>17365899
>Relationships are a fucking time sink though and
>very few are based on a mutual appreciation.
[citation needed]

>People want another person by their side to fulfil a certain social role, that of wife, girlfriend, or mother or their children
Or they just want kids, or a domestic life. I've known women that love kids. I don't know why they want it but does it matter? There's no wrong answers here.

>dating is just auditioning each other to see how well you fulfil that.
Well yeah. If you're genuinely interested in meeting the right person, the advice is to go meet people and find them. Not to agonize over it, but there is a bit of a process involved in finding them. Nobody likes that because it doesn't sound as romantic as just stumbling into somebody one day - the problem is that doing nothing at all to meet someone and just hoping you do is not a very reliable way to meet someone at all unless you routinely meet people to begin with.

>It seems the classic pattern and to me that is simply a chore and a very untruthful way of relation to each other.
I've felt this way before, and I still feel it now at times. I did some searching though, and I realize now that it's mostly my fear and anxiety about relationships (based on prior bad experiences) that causes me to avoid them to some degree. In fact, I'm going to hazard a guess that this is why OP thinks relationships aren't worth it anymore, because many people who think relationships aren't worth it either were in bad relationships previously or witnessed bad ones from parents etc.


>>17365116
>I love my job and my wacky research, and I feel that relationships and such would be distracting.
They're only distracting if you're with bad partners or mismatched partners. A lot of grown men and women like to be with someone who has their own life, and wouldn't mind it at all.

I can't say for sure if you're avoiding relationships because of fear or something else, but it's just a thought.

>>17366024
Thanks for your thought. I don't think it's fear so much as it is pragmatism. Maybe I'm just not wired as well as others; who knows. For example, my research team is closing in on an exciting development, and we've got a stipend for a couple more years of nose to the grindstone work ahead. I know for sure in that amount of time (for example), a mismatched partner would be awful, but a match made in heaven would add a priority that I'm not inclined to have. (Distracting)

But yes, maybe then it's just a scary thought to split my work with a social/romantic life. Nevertheless, thanks for your thoughtful response.

>>17366024
>I realize now that it's mostly my fear and anxiety about relationships (based on prior bad experiences) that causes me to avoid them to some degree.

Yes but as you say yourself:
>There's no wrong answers here.

It is very much possible for people like me or OP to not be interested in relationships, because at this point other things have our priorities.
You assume that OP thinks relationships aren't worthy of it because of some anxiety surrounding them or that he has had bad experiences with them, once more, you voice the idea that a person should want relationships, and if they don't, that's because there is something wrong with them (like a trauma). I know you nuance it later but I'm tired of hearing this.

>They're only distracting if you're with bad partners or mismatched partners.
Wrong, all relationships bring good moments but they also bring hurdles. Good relationships don't fall from the sky, they require time to build it, to communicate and quality shared moments. I think it's better to be aware you do not wish to make that effort, than string someone along in a relationship that would be unfulling by "most grown men and women's" standards.

>dating is just auditioning
What I meant by that is that people are often cornering their partners into a role. We all have expectations for how a partner should behave based on the examples we have seen set at home.
The auditioning bit was my take on the US dating scene (I'm not from here). It is really disagreeable. As a woman its 90% about how you look, as a man it's about what you bring to the table: money, cars, appartment, abs and pecs as well these days. People will gloss over other people who don't match what they think they deserve out of a partner and most people have (1) an overinflated sense of what they can reasonably expect and (2) a continuous dissatisfaction, thinking they can do better.

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>>17366303
Not to start anything here, but I think you and OP would make a pretty good couple.

>>17366303
>It is very much possible for people like me or OP to not be interested in relationships, because at this point other things have our priorities.
>You assume that OP thinks relationships aren't worthy of it because of some anxiety surrounding them or that he has had bad experiences with them, once more, you voice the idea that a person should want relationships, and if they don't, that's because there is something wrong with them (like a trauma). I know you nuance it later but I'm tired of hearing this.

I'm not saying there's no possibility for people to simply not want it, as I stated in the end of my post. I specifically bring up avoidance because he mentioned being in relationships that didn't work out before.

>Wrong, all relationships bring good moments but they also bring hurdles.
True. The "hurdles" seem to decrease with age and/or maturity though. Some people would rather stay and deal - others would prefer not doing it at all, or just walking away at the first sign of trouble. I walk away as soon as it's about to become way too dramatic for my taste, but I'd never walk away if it was the right person and the problem was negligible. Again, age and maturity certainly play a role here.

As far as your clarification on "auditioning" I agree 100%. I personally have a simple rule of not asking from a partner what I cannot or won't give myself. Most guys I talk to seem to care more about looks (weight and grooming) way more than I do, and I always am so puzzled when I talk to a young lady and her fixation on a potential partner has to do with things like his height, his musculature or how he dresses, as if these are indicators of what makes a good man (or woman) at all.

>>17366115
I just think you'd be really happy if you found somebody who was willing to take the time to understand you and your life. Ideally you'd be with someone who isn't very "needy" and can handle you needing space and time for your research and such. You'd have to be willing to do the same for them though which is the tricky part, and if they didn't line up well enough it'd be a problem.

I can relate to being so into my work that I don't want to invest too much in a relationship. I'd rather not have my peaceful emotional center disturbed by somebody who hardly cares about me but is kinda interested in me and hangs on because I'm cute or something.

>>17366347
OP started this thread by noting he doesn't want a relationship.

OP back

>>17366503
I think you certainly have a point! Again, thanks for spelling it out. Yours is a fair approach, and I appreciate your ideas. It's definitely something I can think more about going forward. I'm not one for fate and so forth, but I think (probabilistically) that there ought to be such a fit for me somewhere, someday....

>>17366347
Haha on the same page, no doubt!