Afraid of intimacy?

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Anonymous
Afraid of intimacy? 2016-07-17 05:02:44 Post No. 17364866
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Afraid of intimacy? Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:02:44 Post No. 17364866 [Report]

I'm a female in my early twenties and I've never had sex. It's not my appearance or personality that's caused that, I'm just so scared of being emotionally vulnerable during sex. I've been with my current boyfriend for a while now and I'm worried that he is ready for that sort of relationship. How do I open up to him and not feel terrified whenever he brings up sex? Also, I'm noting that I've never been abused and had a happy childhood. Pic Unrelated.

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:06:36 Post No.17364873
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:06:36 Post No.17364873 [Report]

>scared of being emotionally vulnerable

Can you elaborate?

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:10:16 Post No.17364886
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:10:16 Post No.17364886 [Report]

>>17364873
Sure, I feel very guarded of my feelings and I don't want to get attached to people.

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:12:39 Post No.17364893
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:12:39 Post No.17364893 [Report]

>>17364886
Not even your boyfriend? Huh.

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:13:02 Post No.17364897
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:13:02 Post No.17364897 [Report]

Sex in itself is not going to make you attached. I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 23. I think that if you think of sex as more than just a fun activity to do with someone you care about it can really weigh on you emotionally. My advice is to just wait until you feel ready. There's not really a way I can think of that you can push yourself to that point.

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:14:13 Post No.17364900
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:14:13 Post No.17364900 [Report]

>>17364886

So why are you in a relationship? Why do you even have a boyfriend?

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:18:27 Post No.17364914
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:18:27 Post No.17364914 [Report]

>>17364900
We haven't been together for THAT long. Less than 3 months. I don't think it's healthy to 100% emotionally dedicate yourself to someone so early, even if you are both exclusive.

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:19:32 Post No.17364918
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:19:32 Post No.17364918 [Report]

>>17364897
I think my issue is that I give sex too much value. Maybe I'm just thinking of it as more than it is. Thanks a lot for your input!

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:19:49 Post No.17364919
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:19:49 Post No.17364919 [Report]

>>17364914
Fair enough, but you might want to give him some forewarning, unless he's fine with abstinence and never brings it up

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:22:23 Post No.17364924
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:22:23 Post No.17364924 [Report]

>>17364914

That's not the issue, or why I brought it up - if you don't want to get attached to people, why are you trying to get attached to someone?

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:22:36 Post No.17364925
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:22:36 Post No.17364925 [Report]

>>17364919
He has only brought it up twice. We were both raised religiously, so I don't think he would be totally surprised if I told him I wanted to wait.

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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:23:51 Post No.17364928
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Anonymous 2016-07-17 05:23:51 Post No.17364928 [Report]

>>17364924
It's not that I don't ever want to get attached to anyone, as I am quite close with my family, I'm just reluctant to do so and scared when confronted with the possibility of doing so. That's why I made this post.