I'm a 20 yo f and I've been with my bf for 2 years now. He's very good but I just don't have any sexual desire anymore-for him or anyone else. I used to-at least for the first year we dated-but now I just don't.
As background:
I've never masturbated enjoyably-everytime I've tried I just kind of gave up due to lack of pleasure and feeling immoral.
I feel bad cause he's into me and wants me to be into it too. I told him we can just have sex when he's in the mood but apparently I have to be too.
Idk what to do--he seems down about it. I don't want to lie and fake being in the mood to make him happy but I might have to as I lack any drive.
on any meds?
>>17364756
nope! and never have been-unless there's something in the municipal water supply
anybody have advice on this?
not having sexual desire at all is pretty abnormal. You might consider seeing a therapist about it. Can't force yourself to feel something. I've known a few girls who don't feel any sexual feeling at all and they all had some pretty severe early trauma. Not saying that you necessarily do, but it seems like this often has to do with a psychological error -- like, some complex that doesn't allow you to feel sexual pleasure, or something like that.
>>17364954
All that is to say that a therapist could help you figure out why you don't feel sexual desire.
>>17364745
>and feeling immoral.
That's where your lack of drive is coming from. You view sex as dirty, or wrong. Pleasuring yourself is 'wrong.'
That's why you have no sex drive. It's hard to enjoy something you think isn't enjoyable. Get over your aversion to sex. It's fun.
Get your hormone levels checked. Too much estrogen can cause this.
>>17364958
Are therapists expensive? May consider--but on a tight budget due to college expenses and not sure if it'd be covered by my parents' plan that is very basic
>>17364962
I don't have an aversion to sex itself. It's natural if anything--But not getting any feeling from trying to masturbate and then looking down at what I'm doing is just overall disappointing. Maybe disappointment is a better word than immoral.
>>17365085
Most US health care won't cover counseling or therapy unless it leads to diagnosis of a mental illness. If they "may" cover it that's what they mean.
>>17365105
figures... these options have crossed my mind but they were immediately shot down due to their relation to the medical care system ):
I am thankful for the resources provided by the Internet though (ie advice threads ^^.)
>>17364745
>and feeling immoral.
There's your problem.'
Delve your psyche and your whole framework for reasoning, evaluate each element of the chain, and strip all the religious nonsense cluttering your mind.
Enjoy a more meaningful life based on your own sense of functional morality, and value.
Exercise, exercise, exercise.
I can almost guarantee you that you aren't exercising enough. Lose weight and/or gain muscle. Make sure you're doing strength training/anaerobic exercises like lifting.
What the other anon said about hormones is very true. Too much estrogen and not enough testosterone or hormonal imbalance in general can absolutely lead to low libido. Hormonal birth control can also contribute because of this.
>>17364745
Exercise does it for me. Running, lifting, something that gets your blood pumping for 30mins or more.
These faggots automatically assume this is a psychosomatic. The first step is to check for physical problems. Roughly 1/3rd of women don't orgasm from penitration and many are unable to climax at all due to vaginal structure.
The logical first step is to talk to your OBGYN and see what he or she says. A physical problem is often easier and cheaper to fix than a mental one and a lot less risky.
>>17364962
That's highly doubtful, it's far more likely she can't get off for another reason and tries to justify her predicament that it is immoral anyways. Most likely she just has a thyroid problem or some shit leading to a hormonal imbalance. It's ridiculous how many people immediately jump to half ass psycho analysis. Really telling of our current culture.
My GF had something similar. The first 6~7 months of our relationship she enjoyed sex. Due to stress with exams and some difficulties at work she gradually lost her lust. This was a hard time for both of us and we nearly broke up.
A fellow student and close friend gave me the hint to blindfold her, when she comes back home, do some sensual massage, kiss her body, eat her out and so on.
One day I did this and she enjoyed it very much. She said to me that she sometimes remembers that evening and gets instantly horny. I guess that good experiences and memories can help too.
TL;DR I surprised my GF with blindfolded sensual sex and no she enjoys sex due to this memory.
>>17365291
It's not unreasonable to assume that her psychological disposition towards her sexuality plays a role, though I agree that more clear mechanical causes should be evaluated and ruled out as well.
>>17365291
>It's ridiculous how many people immediately jump to half ass psycho analysis
No one jumped to anything. She literally said she feels guilty. 99% of people can't get aroused if they're feeling guilty for it. I know I couldn't enjoy it if so. It might not be the entire reason, but it certainly sounds like it's part of it.
