Help! I have recently put my mind (and mouth) to giving my husband regular oral sex. I was never a big fan of giving head because 1) early experiences were very humiliating 2)i only wanted to blow a guy if i was really in love with him so I didn't have much experience 3) feeling like i sucked (har har) at it and couldn't make them cum.
Sooooo I did a bunch of internet research and amped myself up on the idea of being his dirty little cum-swallowing whore. I got myself to the point where the idea of doing it makes me really wet and the last couple days I couldn't wait for him to get home so I could practice and make perfect this new skill set.
The first day was a major success and I felt like the queen of the world. He complimented me on my skills and was in obvious heaven, almost drunk with satisfaction, this goofy grin on his face and looking lighter than air. Damn, did that make me feel good!
Last night was a different story. I couldn't get him to finish. I kept getting close and not being able to manage. I got exhausted, I accidentally grazed him with my teeth at one point, my inner lips got raw on the top from so much effort and I felt like such a pathetic, unsexy, failure even though I tried to play it off and we fucked and he finished on my face and was still very happy. The whole time I kept a good attitude, being his plaything, telling him I wanted to learn how to please him better, asking him what I could do next time. But inside I felt horrible and like I let the team down.
Please help me to reach my full potential and go from zero to hero. I need a dick-licking Mr Miyagi to learn me in the ways of waxing on and off. How can I be better? What am I doing wrong? What are your best blowjob pointers?
Practice makes perfect, just pay attention. Eye contact and playing with balls helps.
You should only give oral if he reciprocates it though.
>>17360438
The only men who are going to be able to help you are sodomites. And other women fool themselves with their own perceived prowess.
From my experience, women tend to lick and play around too much because that's what they like done to them. And it fuckin hurts when you suck balls.
You'll just have to get him to tell you what he likes. Sex is 90% in the head and 10% in the dick. The first time was so good because it was a surprise. Now, not so much.
Do it in unlikely, dangerous locations. Do it when he least expects it. Dress up like a slut. Talk slutty.
Hope that helps… but it probably doesn't.
i think it's awesome you waited to suck cock till you could get excited ybout it. ecause being eager, enthusiastic and willing are the most important ingredients to a really good bj.
other than that, it is NOt easy to get some dudes off. he might have gotten nervous or your first time was just such a big success because he was overwhelmed by finally getting some. maybe you need to work on timing and pacing more. it's not easy to get someone off when YOU dictate how fast and hard you go. you need to be able to read him like a book and play with his arousal curve. this is what will come with practice. watch out for signs that indicate that he likes what you're doing, that he's nearing that point of no return, or vice versa, that he's starting to go limp or getting bored.
you can ask him what he likes and what to do next, but do not expect him to have a scrpit laid out about his perfect bj. he might not even know what gets him off and what doesn'.t besides, a bj is all about sitting back and enjoying the ride on his end. not telling you every step you should take.
try to bring the point across that you are enjoying this very much. also, tease him at first. get him really horny and hard before you start. you probably know how to et him really aroused. do taht. make out with him, dry hump, flirt, tease,, and so on. rub his hard cock trough his pants first, then trough his panties. then undress him. let your lips gently graze his shaft. make him twitch for you. then do some slow, warm, wet licks all over his cock. make him move his hips. he should practically be begging you to take him into your mouth. then use a LOT of drool. you can produce more by scraping your tongue agains your teeth or thinking about biting into a lemon. but that's the watery kind. what you need is to get some "throat snot". that's the good stuff. it will lubricate him perfectly for a long time. you get that by taking him down your throat as deep as you can. but i'm going too fast. cont.
>>17360591
Let's go back to taking him into your soft and cozy mouth for the first time. He should be so excited by now that he can't help but let out a moan if he finally gets between your wet lips. So you got him there, laying back, sitting in a chair, standing in front of you, diamonds and sopping wet. Wet your lips, make an inviting pout and then let them glide over his tip, down his shaft in a smooth and sensual move. Keep in mind that you should not really bob your head up and down. That's reserved for getting him off at the end, where intensity and pace are important. Now you should try to imagine your head doing a smooth eliptical movement. Whilst letting him glide in and out of you, keep a good grip on him with your lips. Let your soft tongue swirl and flick over his sensitive head whilst doing so. imagine you are really savoring the most delicious thing that has ever entered your mouth. For me, it is. So that part is easy. Create a SLIGHT vacuum. Just to increase the sensation. Whilst you do that. Let your hands wander. It depends greatly on the guy if he likes to be touched somewhere or not. There are guys that go crazy if you let your fingertips run over their balls. Others love it if you gently cup them and again others like it if you make a ring above them and softly get them away from the shaft a tad (especially whilst nearing orgasm!). Others are not very sesitive to getting their balls touched and others don't like it at all. Try and learn. Then there's the whole part of the cock that goes under his balls and kind of vanishes before the asshole. Again, some guys REALLY dig if you massage that area. I know my bf goes crazy for that. He loves it the most if i put my hand on his perineum and let it glilde over that part of his dick like i'm stroking his shaft. There's a „magical spot“ a bit before the ass that's softer to the touch and you can press your finger in. Legends say some guys cum really hard if you press that spot when they cum.
>>17360596
Then there's obviously his ass. For some, that's absolute no-go zone. You might have to approach slowly and with caution. I have had guys jump up because my finger touched their „danger zone“. Others fucking love it. Try to just place your finger on it. Make gentle circles or even insert a finger. You can also work your way up. I started out like that with my bf and i'm now milking his prostata regularly. He's in awe. And so am i.
Let's go back to sucking. You should not neglect the work your hands can do. your neck and jaw will get tired and using your hands gives them a few seconds to relax and recover. That's especially helpfull if you are in the „end phase“ where you will have to be fast and NOT STOP.
It's also helpfull if he has a big cock. It will give you the opportunity to give him that „balls deep“ feel without vomiting on him. Wrap one hand around the base of his cock, work the top part witho your mouth whilst doing a slightly turning motion. You do go up and down, but you also slightly twist your wrist whilst doing so. imagine the smooth elipse again. You can put the other hand on top of the first and do the same movement in the opposite direction. That way you can get yourself some „rest time“.
Than just have fun. Switch up twirling your tongue around his tip to trying to deep throat him. You can and probably have googled a lot of different things you can do at this point to his dick with your mouth. Watch out for him starting to thrusting, tensing his legs/feet/belly, breathing faster, moaning, and so on that indicates that he's nearing orgasm, if he does and you are done edging and building him up, now's the time to pick up a speed and stick to it. Don't go slower again. Just up the speed and intensity from that point forward. If he's into it, also massage his balls or prostata. You can even try if he's into you playing with his nipples. I know i can almost get my bf to cum, just by pinching his nipples very hard.
>>17360599
Do that slight vacuum again, work the lower part of his cock with your hands. Now you can bob instead of do elipses. I found it to be very helpfull to have some upbeat background music for that part. It helps me to stay in the right rhythm. Depending on your guy, other arousing stuff plays into the fact if he will cum or not. Maybe he's into you wearing lingery. Or makeup. Maybe he wants to grab your head and facefuck you. Maybe he wants to hear you gag a little. Maybe he wants to hear you moan or see you touch yourself. Maybe he would rather like to jerk it all over your face/boobs/into your open mouth. It also depends on his and your mood. Not two bj will ever be exactly the same.
Now go and have fun.
Tease him some more. Especially if you can do little things throughout the day like sending him teasing pictures or dirty texts. The build up alone will have him ready to blow. It works for me and my wife.
avoid teeth, avoid the balls. You can stop sucking and play around with your tongue in the beginning but after going at it for awhile if you stop suddenly it's super frustrating.
Don't suck. Your mouth is there for the warmth and wetness. Your hand is for the tightness and stroking. Moan. Look up at him. Act like you really reaaallyyyy like it(even if it's meh). Ask nicely for him to cum.
This part is important for a good BJ. Make sure you tell him to tell you before he cums. Either by saying it or tappin your head. And when he does, take it in the mouth. That part is important as fuck. You don't have to swallow. I had an ex that would suck my dick any time but she would never ever let me finish in her mouth but either on her face, chest, or a towel. I mean it was nice and all but... to go from a BJ to a handy at the best moment? eh.
Also, try not to act all grossed out or like it's going to make you throw up because of a gag reflex.(which is natural so...) Some guys might like that but if they are like me... I feel absolutely terrible if the girl looks like she's having a bad time.
My current GF gives the best fucking BJs in the world. Everything she does is amazing. She can deep throat, never hits teeth, and even loves it when I hold her head and fuck her throat hard. She also loves to drink my cum so when I'm close she shoves it deep.
I suck at returning. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing and she offers 0 tips. Like I can get her going to have to use the dick to finish her off.
>>17360591
>>17360596
>>17360599
This sounds like a woman's idea of a blowjob, straight out of Cosmo. Christ, I'd be asleep before you were done. And sore.
>>17360691
then enlighten me
OP here. Thank you all so much. I am encouraged and confident again after what seemed like a brutal defeat yesterday.
>>17360591 I really appreciate how thoroughly you replied to my post. I'm sure you're just as thorough when you give head so high five or fist bump or props or whatever is the least cringey. You got me back in the game with your advice. I was super depressed typing this post because I'd started off with all this starry-eyed enthusiasm and optimism and after last night I had this fear creep in like "what if I never get good? What if instead of turning him on I push him away because I'm lame at sucking dick?" and I know that's a losing attitude that will lead to more sad-ass, failure blowjobs. A more mechanical question is, how do you position your lips over your teeth or would you give me a more detailed description of how you use your lips, tongue and mouth? Especially when he's mouthfucking me I find it really difficult to get into a comfortable position with my mouth. Last night there were definitely high points. The throat snot was profuse and I had him so close a couple times but I just couldn't bring it home because my mouth was taking so much abuse and I was genuinely exhausted. Like, I couldn't try again today if I wanted to. If I were to describe myself, through the stages i would say the first day I felt like the sexiest, filthiest, horniest little slut who just wanted to be a slave to his dick. Yesterday I started out as that sexy filthy slut and ended the night feeling like a poseur and hoping he didn't pity me for not being able to finish him, for the teeth and the tempo changes/letting him down. Today I was so sad I almost felt like giving up. I want to be that confident little slut again!
>>17360599
>>17360691
I apologize. That was too harsh. It was a beautiful exercise in creative, erotic, female writing.
The problem is that women always try to imagine they are the man. And they can't. We're just wired differently. All that swirling and bobbing and licking is stimulating you more than him.
Having a woman give you a blow job every day or several every day is every man's dream… until it happens. Maybe a different woman every day. That would work.
I repeat it's 90% in the mind and 10% in the dick. Why do you think most men watch pornography when they masturbate?
>>17360697
See >>17360770.
I shot from the hip (instead of someplace else).
Sorry.
>>17360770
So what is your advice then, aside from my husband fucking other women or jacking off to porn? Are you saying there is no way for me to satisfy him outside of that?
>>17360770
as OP asks, what is your advice then?
>>17360795
No, not at all. And I'm sorry if I gave you that impression.
For me, a stand-alone blowjob is a fun, welcome change up. I can still remember some great ones from my wife because they were so special.
But I like it better if it's part of the full experience so we both end up satisfied. After she is satisfied and I have had regular sex for a while, a blow job is a nice finish... and avoids babies. But that's me.
You sound like a great wife and a great person. Don't get performance anxiety. Your husband is a lucky man.
Relax, don't try to be a pornstar and enjoy each other.
>>17360795
You could also try watching porn together.
>>17360859
not OP, but i tried that and it was just hillarious, not arousing. what did we do wrong?
>>17360861
Different strokes for different folks. If you don't find any kind of porn arousing, then don't do it. Random porn probably won't work but one that appeals to a fantasy of yours...
>>17360872
it started as a joke. so that might have been the reason. we should probably be aroused to start with and try different porn next time.
>>17360877
Exactly. It's all in your mind. Set the stage with a fantasy and then live it out.
I't just not about size or physical technique. It's about what's between your ears.
And your feelings for your partner.
>>17360438
>How can I be better? What am I doing wrong?
Don't get yourself down.
I personally enjoy blowjobs, but I had times where I simply couldn't get off, we are talking 50 minutes of getting my dick sucked, sometimes your husband simply won't be in the mindset.
If you are enthusiastic, then you are off to a good start, nothing is more off putting than a disconnected "are you close yet?" or visibly half heartedly sucking dick.
If you are asking him what he likes, take it further, find out when he likes it, where, how (standing/seated/laying) and how he likes you to be positioned, what he likes you wearing and what he likes you doing and saying.
I personally enjoyed getting my ex to suck my dick when I was on a chair, we would put the mirror behind her and I'd enjoy watching her head bobbing in the mirror.
I also asked her to lick the tip whenever she stopped sucking and give the tip a little peck, and if she was going back to sucking, she was to lick the entirety of the shaft before deep throating and going back to sucking.
I also never told my ex when or where I was going to cum, she would automatically open her mouth and extend her tongue if I ever held her hair back, I had her trained so well that she would automatically do it when she was ill and hugging the toilet without thinking.
Its specifics like that which will help, but like I said, you might give the best blowjobs on earth, but some days he simply won't be in the mindset.
>>17360816
Thanks, man. Much appreciated. I have been trying to build on the intimacy and the connection that we have and I guess I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to fill that sexual fantasy role and part of it was this notion that if I could be a blowjob queen it would bring us closer together. It's nice to hear that I don't have to totally transform into a porn star to make him happy.
>>17360887
Thanks, anon! I am truly grateful for the encouragement. The real stuff is that I never really liked giving blowjobs before so when I would go down on my husband I considered it a "big treat" for him. Anyway, he expressed to me that he was a bit bored in the bedroom and I was devastated because I know he finds me super attractive and I LOVE sex and go at it with a passion. Then I started reflecting on how I hardly ever suck his dick, how I've sort of considered it degrading and uncomfortable and I felt SO BAD. I started reading stuff online about giving head and the strangest thing happened. It started to really turn me on and I was thrilled by the idea that I could make him feel so good. I felt like Jimmy Stewart at the end of It's a Wonderful Life, so eager to have a second chance to suck all the dick I never sucked when I was too blind to see how good it could truly be. I hope that my enthusiasm and genuine desire to please him pays off. I'm gonna keep at it!
>>17360926
I won't tell you how long I have been married because you wouldn't believe it. The relationship is everything. If you have it, the sex is great. If you don't, sex won't fix it. I look at other women but I love my wife. Sex with her was one of the things that made life worth living.
Stick with it. And practice those blow jobs.
>>17360438
Im offering a course for the next 10 days in where I would allow you to blow me each day while I critique you and will offer notes at the end of the workshop cost is $135, cash preferred
>>17360965
keked
I'm in a similar situation, I'm a bit unexperienced (though I've never thought of it as degrading or anything) and would like to get good at this, so like you I've done a bit of research. I can't give you tips on technique but I suggest changing the "settings", for example, you can do it on the bed, with him lying down, or with him resting his back, but he can also sit on the bed or stand while you're on your knees. You can change your hairstyle (untied hair, ponytail, pigtails) and ask him to either keep your hair off your face or to pull your ponytail down whenever he wants you to look up in his eyes... you can do it in the bedroom when both of you expect sex, or you can surprise him when you're watching tv or whatever.
>>17360949
The love between us is definitely there, but we've had a chaotic year with so many major changes in both of our lives that it threw us into a rut. Rut is an understatement. We separated for a few months and for a while I thought we were getting a divorce. I know this is OT. Anyway, the separation worked and made us appreciate each other. But during that time I did a lot of reading on relations between the sexes and I guess I bought into the notion that the way back into his heart, this time with extra staying-power, was through his dick. I also wanted to go out of my way to make him happy. The way I would want him to surprise me with little treats and gifts I'm trying to surprise him with gifts and sex.
>>17360997
Definitely going to try out variety in location and my style of dress. I know he's been dying to sex me on the balcony...I guess the skeptic in me thinks "is it really gonna make a difference if I'm in white lingerie with a bouffant? Will head in the park after dark really add that extra somethin-somethin?"
>>17361027
I hope you find the happiness you deserve.
Email me, easier and faster for me to respond, at [email protected]. I have some tips I can share :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d9HIMmwIXE
>>17361778
kek. The guy offering the blow job course was less transparent.
>>17360438
I'm surprised no one's yet to mention bj queen/goddess - Heather Harmon (Brooke)!
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=924228461
She even has an instructional video:
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=611580268
>(Karate kid references)
Your husband married a keeper! :)
