Girlfriend (25) and I (26) have been dating for 1.5 years, just about to move in together. We don't fight - if there's an issue, one of us will bring it up and we discuss it calmly.
However there's a few things that I still hold some hard feelings for, and I can't shake them.
The first issue happened in our first 6 months. She was at a party with some of her close friends and one of her best girlfriends was trying to get her boyfriend to do something a bit kinky that night. So, to get him in the mood, my girlfriend told me she started saying sexual things to him and rubbing his leg (her friend was aware and okay with this). When she told me, I said I was not cool with this and she apologised and said it wouldn't happen again. Since then, there's been some hostility from the best friends boyfriend towards me.
About 3 weeks ago, my gf told me that they once told her that she's the only person they'd consider having a threesome with, and she's seen them fuck on camera (before we started dating). She also admitted that she thinks the boyfriend is hot and would love to fuck him (but won't because we're together).
I appreciate the honesty, but holy hell this is killing me... I can't explain why, but it's putting me off from furthering our relationship.
Am I overreacting?
>>17359155
I mean she really shouldn't have told you that. Any self-respecting guy isn't going to take that shit. You are probably overreacting a little bit, but she doesn't come out looking very good in this. If you have any doubts then you shouldn't move in with her just yet.
>>17359158
I had to read his post twice to make sure I read yours correctly. How is he over reacting in any way?
>gf says a bunch of borderline cheating shit to some guy
there is zero reason for your gf to have said anything sexual to this guy, she did it because of our next bullet point
>gf admits hes hot and would fuck him
too much information for me, saying this only serves to hurt you and pad her ego
>gf tells you they want to have a threesome with here
now she's basically fishing for you to say it'd be ok or on the other hand, just to let you know she has options
then the asshole faggot has the nerve to be hostile? he's trying to force a rift in your relationship. i'd be fucking pissed. id split this jokes face open with a solid hook before he knew what was happening to him if he said something to rile me.
this is the part where you tell your gf to ditch these people if she values you over them. it's time to start being adults. put your footdown and let your girl know you wont stand for this or she will walk all over you. this kind of behavior is absolutely not acceptable
>> Since then, there's been some hostility from the best friends boyfriend towards me.
Well he can fuck right off. It's none of his business.
Hard to know what to do here OP, I would not be happy either. Seems like she is fishing for your permission for a 3-some. I'd second what the other poster said in that if it ever comes up again, firmly put your foot down.
If she can't respect that? Then...
Honestly, OP?
This is so not worth it.
It's only been - what, 18 months?
And stuff like that happens?
Yeah. You'd be better off by dumping her and cutting her out of your life.
Seriously, the stuff from your first 6 months would be an instant deal-breaker for me.
How the fuck would she have felt if you'd done the same stuff she did to another girl? And then telling her that girl was hot and you'd love to fuck her.
She'd have dumped your ass and you should dump her stupid ass too.
Seriously, do this before you move in and shit gets too entangled.
Someone who tells me something like that -- that they want to fuck someone else -- I think I'd have a hard time taking this girl seriously as a long-term committed partner.
This isn't really something you should be angry with her about because it's not like she's trying to hurt you. I'd be more disappointed than anything.
Sounds like it's worth having a conversation about whether or not she's really ready to not be single. That she acted in a sexual way with this guy pretty far into your relationship, and that she tells you now that she wants to fuck him is a really good reason to not have much confidence in her. If the only reason she's not acting out on what she wants is because she thinks you're going to be angry or upset, well, I've found that you can count on people to eventually do what it is that they want to do regardless of the consequences. It's also really, really hard for a lot of people to feel good about being with someone who tells you that they want to be with someone else and who's apparently held onto that for quite a while.
Instead of delaying the inevitable and having her cheat on you, it would be better to just acknowledge that this is more than just a passing desire for her, and split up now with no hard feelings. Moving in together would be a mistake.
>>17359242
This one
Welcome to cuckold life
>>17359155
damn but at least she is honest but that doesn't mean you have to like it nor ignore the truth of what she clearly wants to do. I cannot understand why anyone that wants a monogamous committed relationship would continue with someone that doesn't but instead wants you to be ok with it. Don't waste your precious time and don't move in with her. That will make it harder for you to split when she goes through with the threesome. FYI. She wants this guy for herself but her friend is in the way and will settle for a threesome to have him. You on the other hand no more than a placeholder till she can pull this off.
>>17359242
Some of the most reasonable advice I've seen on /adv/ for awhile now. OP this guy pretty much nailed anything that needs to be said.
To add to what he said, I was in a situation where my then girlfriend wanted to sleep with another guy. We were also looking at houses to buy. I played it off and we carried on. I thought about it for a few days and talked to her. I asked if that's something she really wanted and she said she did. I said "well, if that's what you want, then I won't stop you. But I'm leaving you because I'm not okay with that and you're gonna sleep with who you want" I wished her all the best. A few months later, the new guy she was dating messages me on FB and asked me to cuck him and Fuck her whilst she watches. I dodged a fucking bullet and a half. I didn't do it because Fuck that noise.
>>17359155
>the boyfriend is hot and would love to fuck him
you are not overreacting, she stomped on you
Do not move in together
>>17359155
you ignored a warning 6 months in and wasted a year don't ignore this second warning. It's not enough for her to continue her plan for the threesome (I think they may have already done this) but she didn't stop there, she made you the bad guy.
>>17359168
yooooo i'm so with you on this. There was literally no need for her to say that shit to you, honesty.... yeah sure it's great but she said it disregarding how you'd feel.
>>17359678
this OP from what she said up to that point you should stop right there. She ain't worth jack shit I respect her honesty but saying that straight to your face is disrespectful for you since you're her boyfriend and you are serious about her. I say break up with her and find someone better that wants to commit to a relationship like you do
>>17359155
>y once told her that she's the only person they'd consider having a threesome with, and she's seen them fuck on camera (before w
Its not cheating but kinda is, my girl did something that is considered cheating or kinda cheating. she was exchanging ass pics for dick pics of some guy she used to date. this happened 4-5 months b4 we moved in together. i found out 2 weeks into moving in with her, if i would have known before i wouldn't have moved in with her. trust me, you wont stop thinking about it, you will have access to all her shit and you will keep snooping through it non stop. best to shift to a lower gear on the relationship imo.
>>17360246
That's cheating you moron
>>17360246
tell me you are not still with this cunt, please
Get your shit together and find someone better. This girl is gonna screw you over if she hasn't already.
>>17359168
Only meant that he seems to be getting too emotional about it. I only want OP to make a decision with a clear head. Honestly he needs to hold off on moving in with her and entirely reevaluate the relationship.
>>17359155
Like others said, better go get the fuck out of there now.
You stay with her, you're looking to get majorly burned. I'm all for honesty and transparency, but part of that transparency comes with a risk, which is that the person on the other end finds out something they don't like about you and dumps you.
When I'm with a woman I really appreciate and value, I don't think about other women very much at all, and certainly not that way. Being passively attracted to other people is one thing. Wanting to seriously fuck somebody else and entertaining that thought is on the other side of that line and signals that the person is not as committed or invested as they should be.
Move on.
>>17359155
You sound like youre ok.
So im telling you if you have any fucking dignity leave that bitch now and shame that faggot boyfriend of her friend's.
Shes testing the waters and seeing how you react to this shit one confession at a time, how do you know thats all she did. Also, the fact that she is telling you just means she has something in mind.
>>17359155
if my boyfriend pulled this shit i would never give him another chance, this is unacceptable. If you have the strength to get over this I would be surprised. How do you think she would react if you told her that you wanted to fuck one of her hot friends?
