Making friends
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I can't make friends. I'm nearly 19 and I've never had a group of friends until just recently and that has fallen apart completely.
It's turning me into a bitter and incredibly depressed person. Everytime my boyfriend mentions anything about going out with his friends for dinner or drinking or whatever, my mood immediately drops and I feel awful.
I have really bad social anxiety and I'm in the middle of transitioning between genders which makes me feel super awkward and uncomfortable about myself which makes it far worse.
This year was the first time I had what could be called "friends" my whole life. My boyfriend had a group of friends that would play boardgames every week or so and it was so much fun. I'd get dragged along to events with him and his friends and it was the best thing ever. I was the happiest I had ever been.
Months later, one of his friends is pretty mean to me for seemingly no reason. I was upset so I just simply unfriended him. Whenever we talked, it always devolved into some sort of argument and it was unpleasant anyways so I just stopped talking to him.
I didn't really consider the consequences of this though. Now I can't go to ANY event with my boyfriend because this friend of his was there. I didn't really have a problem with being around him, I would of course be civil but I supposedly make him uncomfortable.
But anyways, I'm now completely cut off from him and his friends. I've probably not spoken to them for a month and a bit. Not even online.
I know I need my own friends but it's so incredibly difficult for me to go out of my way to talk to people given my anxiety and awkward appearance. I dread going outside let alone talking to strangers.
They were the perfect group of friends. They loved boardgames and DnD and "nerdy" stuff in general and most of them were just the friendliest people I have ever met. I'm so alone now. I haven't spoken to anyone besides my boyfriend in real life for ages now.
I fucked up.
>>17358965
>I'm in the middle of transitioning between genders
Oh boy, here we go again.
>>17358973
Is that a common thing or? Not sure what's wrong with that.
>>17358973
This.
Fuck off op. I've had enough of that type of feminist trams-queer lgbtq faggot fucking mental illnesses that you represent.
And yeah I'm kinda mad but at least I'm capable of normal social interactions.
>>17359064
Woah waoh, what's wrong with wanting to be a girl? Not sure what the hate is for...
>>17359078
Op you're using changing gender as a cop out for own depression. Look 4chan pretty much hates trans people so keep that in mind.
On the friends note, you're blowing it up in your head so much that you can't even begin to make friends. Try a meetup group, try an anime site with a chat room, just get used to talking to propel again, then try in person with anyone - a store clerk, whatever a simple hey, how has your day been?
Socializing I'd within all of us or you wouldnt want to do it at all.
>>17359078
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsNERpRvz4c
>>17359095
I'm not genderfluid. I don't "feel" like a boy somedays and a girl other days. I always feel like I'm a girl and I want to be a girl.
>>17359094
I just don't get how people can be mad at someone for being mentally ill.
But anyways, I'm pretty okay at talking to people online, it's just in reality. I don't know what it is. I think a lot of it is I just lack confidence. I obviously dislike my appearance and myself in general so it's hard to be confident and start conversations.
I've tried it before and most of the conversations bomb and I just feel like shit afterwards. I know failing is part of life but it feels really horrendous.
I always worry that the person I start a conversation with wants absolutely nothing to do with me and that I'm just being a nuisance.
>>17359115
If you go into a conversation thinking this will go badly, it probably will - which can be sad about almost ANYTHING. Get out of your head, no one cares enough about you to think that you're a nuisance before you've said anything to them, and they especially don't care enough about how you look to not talk to you because of it.
Some people are assholes, and are annoyed by almost anyone talking to them, some people are unaccepting of trans. Putting that aside, overall, no one fucking cares about you. Get over yourself.
>>17359136
Sorry I'm about to go to bed so I wanted to clarify, I don't mean that no one cares about you. What I do mean is anyone you do not know doesn't care about you enough to immediately take an offensive stance on becoming your friend. If you realize how much people do not care, it will help you get over your childish self confidence issues - which we all have, no one on this planet doens't feel bad about themselves at some point.
