Hey /adv/, recently had a pretty nasty breakup and now I'm

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Advice on friendship
2016-07-14 22:35:16 Post No. 17357689
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Advice on friendship 2016-07-14 22:35:16 Post No. 17357689 [Report]

Hey /adv/, recently had a pretty nasty breakup and now I'm having some thoughts that I'm not sure how to handle.

>still in college
>this recent semester, meet Jap exchange student
>hit it off
>not much in common, just really enjoy each other
>fall for her
>hesitated to ask her out because of summer break and distance
>decided to take the chance and ask her out
>she says yes and the rest of the semester is great
>finally summer comes
>we hang in there the first month, it's actually not too bad, good almost
>second month, her messages start changing halfway through
>she needs wi-fi to message and we're living in different time zones, so communications are already strained
>been working my ass off all summer in case this happened
>decide it's worth it and I need to visit her
>talk to her about it, we agree it's for the best
>beg for time off work and spend two weeks planning this out
>get there
>two hours later, she dumps me

I'm not sure how to feel about all this. I'm pissed, obviously, because that's a lot of money down the shitter; but, I can't shake this feeling of wanting to be back with her. She told me that her feelings probably won't come back and that she doesn't feel like dating right now anyways; but, also, that she wants to remain friends. I don't know how to take this. I really want to remain friends with the hope that we hit it off again but I'm not sure if I'm just gonna end up hurting myself in the long run. Any suggestions?

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Anonymous 2016-07-14 22:40:20 Post No.17357701
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 22:40:20 Post No.17357701 [Report]

The time you spend trying to attract her again could be used on someone who already likes you.

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Anonymous 2016-07-14 22:42:16 Post No.17357709
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 22:42:16 Post No.17357709 [Report]

>that she wants to remain friends
that's just what people say to make you feel better, move on

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Anonymous 2016-07-14 22:49:51 Post No.17357724
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 22:49:51 Post No.17357724 [Report]

>>17357701
The problem is that I'm so rarely interested in people romantically. This is the first girl I've had a legitimate interest in in over three years, so I'm hesitant to give up on it both because I really like her and because it is so rare.

>>17357709
I would accept this as the truth except that she messaged me right before my flight home, after a day of fighting and two of silence, to thank me, apologize, and wish me safe travels home.

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Anonymous 2016-07-14 23:21:22 Post No.17357834
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 23:21:22 Post No.17357834 [Report]

>>17357724
>after a day of fighting and two of silence, to thank me, apologize, and wish me safe travels home.
she clearly didn't do this to make you and herself feel better, clearly

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Anonymous 2016-07-14 23:50:30 Post No.17357909
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 23:50:30 Post No.17357909 [Report]

>>17357834
Maybe you're right and I'm reading too much into it, but she was under no obligation to do that. To stop, in the middle of work, right before my flight, and type out what sounded to be a pretty sincere message in her second language just doesn't sound like the doings of someone interested in just making me feel better before cutting ties. I'm not saying she still has romantic feelings for me, but it just seems like she might actually be sincere in hoping we can still be friends.