Sex hurts
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
/adv/, i'm a 19 y/o girl and a virgin. i've tried twice in the past to have sex but both times the guy had difficulty fitting inside and it was extremely painful for me and so we had to stop trying. the second time i thought i would be able to push through the pain but i started to cry because it hurt so bad. i don't know what to do. maybe i wasn't turned on enough (i have a low sex drive which is another problem in itself), or maybe it's because i'm too tight (i have very narrow hips). either way it's frustrating and embarrassing and my boyfriend is unhappy without being able to have sex (his sex drive is much higher than mine). is there something wrong with me? or is there something i can do to make this easier? even when my boyfriend fingers me i feel uncomfortable because it is slightly painful. also i have never used tampons, never tried to insert anything in there while masturbating, so maybe that's a factor...
if anyone could offer advice or share similar experiences it'd be greatly appreciated. thx.
>>17357252
Try anal
lube it.
>>17357252
What is your height and weight?
Its important to relax. And by relax i dont mean you think about being relaxed, no you stop being tense, you stop thinking about it not fitting and you actually loosen up. Make the foreplay very long, use lube, use the right position (doggy maybe?) and again, get relaxed, when everything down there is tight it will not work, especially for your first time
^this, and more foreplay. Get dripping wet and turned on, lube, take it slow, try different positions
>>17357252
There is nothing wrong with you. It's perfectly normal for virgins to be tight and plus on that you are nervous and tighting your muscles. And your boyfriend is jackass in this matter if he isn't virgin himself. What you need to do is to loosen you with finger. It will take some time. It might take week for example. He should pleasure you with his fingers. I had girlfriend that I had to start from just 1 finger, 2 was too painfull for her. But after couple of sessions, she was ready and happy. It can be pleasurable for both of you.
I bet you're a innie, roasties are always loose and disgusting. They don't call em loose lips Sally for nothing.
Ignore some retards ITT who don't know what they're shitposting about.
Some other advice is sound but what you describe sounds like vaginismus.
It is normal for a first time to be uncomfortable because of (subconscious) muscle tension, but there's a difference between a bit of discomfort or pain and what you describe. The discomfort should also be exclusively related to a lack of foreplay and/or nerves - for a relaxed, aroused woman it is entirely possible to have painfree, bloodfree sex even for the first time. It just gets a bad reputation because many people want to get it over with and rush the experience too much. Even then, an uncomfortable first time is not nearly the same as excruciating pain.
Another giveaway is that you never insert things at all. Vaginismus means that your vagina subconsciously "flinches" shut the way you can't help but close your eye when someone tries to poke their finger in. A simple test is trying to insert a finger - if you are not stressed, this should be perfectly doable even if it is quite tight, especially with a bit of vaseline. If you cannot insert a finger painfree, that's a definite sign of vaginismus.
The good news is that this is something you can very much cure, but you will need to practice with dildos so your body can relax and grow used to the sensations. I have heard one story of someone successfully doing this by themselves, but if I were you I'd visit a gynaecologist and get a recommendation for a good sexual therapist who is experienced with vaginismus.
>>17357297
Also wanted to add that it is a spectrum not a set condition that's the same for everyone. Even just the fact that he did manage to ultimately insert his dick means that if you do have vaginismus, it's a lighter variant that will take less time to overcome.
>>17357274
>>17357275
These. Sex is only uncomfortable if your body is resisting.
>>17357318
Sex is only comfortable if her body is resisting.
>>17357252
>never tried to insert anything in there while masturbating
If you do want to give that a shot sometime to loosen a little before moving on to a regular dick and you find fingers aren't your thing, I personally prefer using the caps to these travel toothbrushes. The small kind, not the case kind that holds a whole regular toothbrush, and the kind that's rounded without square edges. You can just remove the brush part. And it's a lot easier to clean afterwards if you put it in a condom. These are about the same size and shape as a bullet vibrator.
And always remember there is no shame in using lubricant. I find mine in the pharmacy in the isle with tampons and condoms, but if you prefer a natural lube you can try coconut oil, though it doesn't work as well.
>>17357274
I am 5'8" and 125 lbs.
thank you everyone for your advice/feedback, it is very helpful.
you don't have to have penetrative sex if you can't do it or it makes you uncomfortable
