Been extremely suicidal lately. I found a really nice channer girl that I hit it off REALLY well with. She's honestly a really cool girl and I'm 100% happy with just being her friend and don't even care about anything else.
We'd be in voice call for hours, we'd just good off and play games or watch anime together. She genuinely laughs and has a great time with me. She's gotten into serious topics with me about her issues and insecurities, I've helped her and she's told me many times she appreciates my friendship.
But she tried to commit suicide recently and went to a psych ward. She only spent a week but she hasn't been the same since returning. I've tried being there for her but she mostly goes MIA. She's apologized and explained that she gets super anxiety lately and feels like she doesn't deserve friends and that I'll just be disappointed in her like everyone else.
We hardly talk anymore. We went from talking literally every single day for hours on end to radio silence. I try poking her for conversaiton and she rarely responds. The times she does, it's just like before, where we just have very long discussions about anything and everything; so it isn't as if she's bored of me or anything, she just doesn't get in the mood to talk anymore.
Her depression is kinda worsening mine. I relate to her really well and it makes me wanna kill myself more. I just want to be there for her. I just wanna help her, but I can't if she won't let me.
You're not a good match. You both need what the other can't provide: stability. Neither of you are capable of helping each other, even if you want to. It's cliche, but you really do need to help yourself before you can help someone else.
The most confusing aspect of it is that she really has told me that she's happy she met me, she admires a lot of my traits, and she really cares about me and feels like shit for making me worry so much.
I don't pressure her. I don't excessively message - usually space out my pokes about a week apart. She DOES eventually get back to me, we usually have a brief 1-3 day period where things go normal again and then poof...
I'm trying to be patient but this has been going on for about a month now. I don't want to ditch her, I truly care about her, but my emotional well being is really being strained out.
I don't wanna lose her as a friend, she's the coolest person I've met in like a freaking decade. I don't relate to other people or share niche interests with them as easily.
>>17356364
wtite her a sincire message saying that you care for her and want to be there with her to lead a more progressive future. dont say that you love her or anything like that but tell her that you would be devastated if she killed herself.
>>17356376
I am normally pretty stable. I've grown to cope with my depression really well. I never ever weigh her down with anything, and I pass my coping methods to her and always help her after she vents out with information that she actually puts into practice and works for her.
So far I have the means to provide a lot more stable lifestyle for her. My anxieties and stress mostly come from knowing I'm capable but she won't allow me to. She's too scared of letting people too close.
>>17356383
I've done something similar to this. She actually has considered moving in with me because her family is really poor and emotionally abusive by always telling her she's a piece of shit and they wish they aborted her.
She just won't take steps for me to help her. I can work out a plan for her, I don't care if she leeches off me because I've got too much money (sounds odd to say, I'm not rich but just too comfortable financially to the point where buying things for myself isn't fulfilling).
She has this self sabotage thing going on. She's also too scared of big steps and changes.
>>17356414
do you live near her or is this LDR? if not, take her out, away from all the moise. something fun. make her forget everything.
>>17356444
Long distance, and we aren't dating. She knows I like her but I don't particularly care right now how she feels about me honestly. I only made my feelings known to her so she understands, and it hasn't affected out friendship at all. If anything, since confessing to her months ago she's gotten closer to me.
But I definitely WANT to just take her away and do fun things with her. She's like a caged bird over there because her parents don't let her out the house.
I have the money to just fly over there on the dime and pick her up for a return trip but that's really creepy. She needs to come when she's ready, me forcing her won't really end well.
>>17356364
I FUCKING HATE AMERICAN PSYCHOTERAPY.
She's not the same because they probably pumped her full of anti-depressants and now she's having major withdrawls.
Tell her to stop taking any medication.
Psychedelics help ,meds don't.
Tell her to go in nature.It helps,a lot!Living in a big and noisy city almost drove my mother crazy.
And stop being such a pussy:I JUST WANNA HELP HER BUT SHE WON'T LET ME.
She's confused and doesn't know what to do.
You just have to pretend that you aren't and actually HELP her.
>>17356474
She can't go outside because her parents literally lock her in her room, but it is possible her meds are messing with her badly. I've wanted to discuss the possibility with her for a while now but she hardly gives me a chance to talk anymore with her.
I can't do anything from my position if she won't get back to my messages. I do have enough money to fly to her on surprise but that wouldn't be helpful since she can't leave her room and her parents wouldn't let me near her.
No, police involvement isn't really an option either. It's complicated, but for the time being she can't get social services involved for about another 6 months.
>>17356396
>Been extremely suicidal lately
Stable people never use sentences like this. You need professional help.
>>17356529
What the actual fuck
>>17356529
...is she underage?
>>17356474
Speaking of psychedelics and meds...
>>17356364
>)
>>17356474
commit suicide together hand in hand
>>17356529
>No, police involvement isn't really an option either.
>>17356687
American psycho therapy is BS. I wud listen to this dude because antI depressants can cause changes in mood. If your in the city too and going through that, the noise can drive u mad
>>17356739
Lol get outta here
