>>17352995
Women don't want sex without love, and you don't want to give love without sex.

That seems to be your primary problem.

Does she live with you?

>>17353040
Correct!

To further elaborate:

She constantly wants affection, but cuddling and kissing in previous relationships always gave me a boner. In those relationships if that happened and I wanted sex I got it, no problem.

With her she never wants to, so I somewhat avoid the cuddly kissy stuff, which works against me. Because I don't show affection but am willing to have sex, she tells me I just use her for sex.

Now with that being said, I've been the bigger person more times then I can count. I'll cuddle her, watch dumb movies she knows I have no interest in. I'll take her out and do whatever she wants, eat and drink wherever she wants. Basically be the perfect gentlemen.

It still does nothing, and I see it as a slap in the face and withdraw back to my original ways since my attempt got me nowhere.

She on the other hand will never make the extra effort to try, she never comes on to me in anyway shape or form, never dirty talks me, never texts me kinky pictures while I'm at work. Sex with her is extremely robotic, it's almost like a doctors appointment.

Also, she uses sex and blowjobs as a bargaining tool and doesn't see anything wrong with not holding up her end of the deal. And becomes extremely angry when I get angry over it.

Example: can we go do this or that? I know you don't want to but I'd love to! I'll blow you when we get home and I'll wake you up to your dick in my mouth if you do! We get home and she goes to sleep she wakes up and doesn't touch me. I become bitter and quiet and she acts like she's confused as to why I would have any reason to be that way. When I tell her she lied and used sex as a manipulation tool she gets extemely defensive and acts like its no big deal.

>>17353063
We have been dating for 3 years, have lived together for 2 of them.

>>17353070
Just break up, Jesus.

>>17353073
How's a typical day in the life?

You wake up, and?

>>17353090
Lol it's more complicated then simply just breaking up.
>>17353091
It's different all the time because of my work schedule, when I'm working we don't see each other much, my days are 15 hours. But I work a 7 shifts in a row and get a full week off. So I'm free then to do whatever she wants. Usually I wake up earlier, we usually sit around and watch tv, drink coffee, watch a movie. Run errands or do things around the house if anything needs to be done. I workout frequently which she has no interest in, I usually go to the gym somewhere between 1-4 pm for a couple of hours. Come home and shower then ask her what she wants to do for the rest of the day/night.

>>17353106
It really isn't.

You gotta present an ultimatum and get the relationship back on track and then leave if the attempt fails or she doesn't try / gets angry.
You are sexually incompatible.

>>17352995
>everyone will just think she's a piece of shit and tell me to leave her
Piece of shit is subjective, but you can't force her to want to have sex. If you want a fulfilling sexual relationship, sounds like you should find a girl who actually likes sex.

>>17353070
>Now with that being said, I've been the bigger person more times then I can count. I'll cuddle her, watch dumb movies she knows I have no interest in. I'll take her out and do whatever she wants, eat and drink wherever she wants. Basically be the perfect gentlemen.

Sounds more like her perfect bitch. Do everything for her, but ask something in return and suddenly you're using her? Nice double standard.

>She on the other hand will never make the extra effort to try, she never comes on to me in anyway shape or form, never dirty talks me, never texts me kinky pictures while I'm at work. Sex with her is extremely robotic, it's almost like a doctors appointment.

So you wait on her hand and foot for whatever she wants, but the minute you want something it's like going to the DMV? Your relationship has no balance. Please see the previous bitch comment.

>Also, she uses sex and blowjobs as a bargaining tool and doesn't see anything wrong with not holding up her end of the deal. And becomes extremely angry when I get angry over it.

What part of "she's totally using you" are you not getting by now? Holy shit.

>>17353106
>Lol it's more complicated then simply just breaking up.

Fuck no it isn't

"Hey, you are a manipulative bitch who uses me for whatever you like and never reciprocates with anything for me. Literally anything. I'm done. Go find some new dipshit to jerk around."

Problem solved.

>>17353112
>you are sexually incompatible
This

Although honestly don't set an ultimatum
If you really care about her, come forward and admit that you associate affection with sex and just because you want it doesn't mean you don't love her, that you're just put off from getting too affectionate because you start to crave sex, and you've almost been made to feel like this is a bad thing. Allow her the opportunity to talk about her own feelings about intimacy and admit her own fault about expecting affection while not acknowledging the other things you want in the relationship.

The key is to admit your fault first though, and you have to mean it, not merely as a means to get sex or have her admit she was wrong.

>>17353112
That's where it becomes really complicated. I've actually tried to break up with her many times. We currently rent, we split the cost, but everything in the apartment is mine except for a few decorations of hers. I paid the damage deposit and she openly admits that if we broke up she can't afford to leave here by herself so she would move out.

So I've broken up with her before, she gets mad, starts packing, throwing things, saying mean things. Then she usually cries, apologizes and says she will try and change, and doesn't. Before I use to accept that and we would try, fail, the situation repeats.

The most recent few I've actually not agreed to try, flat out told her nothing changes and I don't want to try and she has to go.

She won't leave lol.

She will leave me alone, possibly cry or go to her sisters. Then later act like NOTHING happened and I didn't ask her to leave. I've actually asked her wtf are you doing I asked you to leave why are you talking to me, then she just recycles the situation and leaves me alone for a length of time again.

I've came out and said to her it's so fucked up she won't leave when asked to, I told her the only way we will break up is if I pack up and leave her with an empty apartment, or I pack all her things up and drop them off at her sisters and change the locks.

The civil adult talks, and ultimatums don't work. She is somehow so mentally fucked she won't accept being broken up with.

>>17353106
>Lol it's more complicated then simply just breaking up.
But you said that if you go more into it it will skew our opion to hate her more. You have clear issues in this relationship that are spreading into the rest of your relationship. You both getting angry and starting to think that your both judt using each other for x. Talk to her, get this sorted out or break up. Ignore and it'll get worse

>>17353132
>tried to break up many times

Stopped reading there

There is no "trying"
Just break up with her if you want or don't if you don't.
Stop being a bitch

>>17353132
If your name is on all the paperwork for the place you're renting, talk to your landlord, explain the situation, and tell them you need help getting her to vacate the premises because she won't do it on her own. If you landlord isn't a total doucher they'll do whatever they can to get a squatter (your now ex-girlfriend) to fuck off their property.

>>17353131
Get a lawyer involved.
She is scum

>>17353156

Whoops meant it for
>>17353132

>>17353140
Well when she won't leave the success rate is 0 and it's not an actual break up.
>>17353147
Another complication in the matter.

Her dad has moved in with us for a few months, where he was living unfortunately had a fire. He is suppose to be only here for 2-3 months. I get along very well with him and the rest of her family. He has no idea there's any issues with us because she doesn't tell any of them. He moved in last month, so basically now if I do break up with her I need to kick him out also. What I'm trying to do is fix the relationship because we've been together so long and our lives and families are so intertwined now. But if I don't come to any sort of resolution then when he moves out I'm going to tell her she has to leave to. Or I'm going to forfeit my damage deposit and just leave this place with her in it, but that means giving up 1600 dollars.

>>17353180
lol

are you saying you are incapable of removing a woman from your appartment

Like I said stop being a bitch

>>17353180
Fair enough. You can also wait for her father to work that issue out if you're going to break up. Don't fret over the intertwined thing because none of the family members change the fact that this relationship is a dud and the gf is a manipulative mess. You sound cool OP. You deserve better

>>17353124
She uses me when it's put forth in a context like you put it.

But at the same time, I don't pay her bills, I don't pay for the apartment myself, we split the rental cost. Because I work out I eat a lot of high protein foods(I mass cook meats and freeze them). She has no interest in my food so we don't split groceries, she buys and cooks her own food and I do the same with mine. When we have date nights at home I'll cook for us but other then that we have separate diets. She basically handles all her own finances, so if she is using me its for going to the movies and to restaurants, or asking me to visit her friends and family when she knows I'd rather do something else.

This is not a gold digger situation I guess you could say because I dated one in a previous relationship so right from the beginning in this one I kept our money separate.

>>17353180
>so basically now if I do break up with her I need to kick him out also

No you don't. Did you ever stop to think that if you explained the problem to her dad, he might understand what a shit deal you're getting? He might actually want to help you get his daughter to stop being a helpless manipulative total piece of shit at all?

>>17353198
OK, she's not using you for money, but she's obviously using you. Dragging you around by the ear, making you do everything her way constantly, promising you things she never delivers on with the sole intent of just getting her way.

None of this seems like user behavior to you, even if she's not rifling your wallet? Emotional manipulation is just as bad as financial manipulation in a lot of ways.

>>17353189
If he forcefully removes a woman from a household their are a lot of accusations that could be thrown by her depending on her mental state and how bitter/angry she is. She could cry wolf to the police saying he abused her, raped her, she could state claim to the residence and have him removed with nothing other then what he can pack while police are there. It's not as simple as just grabbing someone and throwing them out... You must be young, or just stupid.

>>17353211
don't samefag mate

Just call the police and get her removed and change the locks or move out yourself.

LITERALLY simple as that

>>17353199
I considered that, but how do you approach a 60 year old man with a relationship issue such as this.

Hey man, we are on the rocks here because your daughter doesn't put out, she also uses sex as a manipulation tool to get me to do things. Sorry, I won't be the son in law you thought I was going to be because I'm a horny bastard who won't put up with lack of sex.

His wife(he's still with my girlfriends mother) lives a few states away. He is here for work, he works roughly 24-30 days in a row then flys home for a week at a time. So due to the fact he is giving up sex with his wife for a month at a time for the sake of work I don't see him being as understanding with the issue, considering I'm only going 1-2 weeks without any sex.

Have you tried telling her father that you have been having doubts? It may get a little messy if he takes it badly, but it would be a very fucking effective way of breaking up.

And if he takes it well, he could be a decent temporary roommate until he and his daughter move out (hopefully that situation would have him look for a place for his duaghter and then she has no excuse.)

Has anyone seen the new ghostbusters film?

She's a sociopath, and she's not attracted to you. You really need to get out of this relationship.

Is her name on the lease? If not, break up with her, and when she goes to her sister's place, arrange to have the locks changed and have her stuff packed up ready to hand to her when she shows back up. Not sure how you'd get it to her without opening the door though--at which time she might force herself in: you don't want to physically touch her, she might tell the cops you hurt her. Maybe drop her stuff off at her sister's while she's there.

If her name is on the lease, then you just gotta suck it up and wait for the lease to end... but definitely don't renew when it does, and go find your own place.

>>17353192
I'm a very quiet person, but looks wise I can see how people would judge me or be intimidated by me. I don't talk much when I'm at family occasions, she plays on this and acts like I'm an angry ogre to her family and that's why I'm not as social. So I know that if and when this ends, she is going to cry victim to all our friends and families. I'm going to be painted as a horrible boyfriend that just wanted her for sex and nothing else. My close friends and family will believe my side of it, but because I'm such good friends with her sister, brother in law, her brother, and her father it's upsetting to know what their perception of me will be in the end. I'm not a bad person, but I look like an anti social convicted drug dealer who served prison time, and that will serve to her advantage when she plays the victim.

>>17353238
Chill you just have autism. It will cure itself in time

>>17353239
I heard cocaine can be effective in high doses, leaning towards that.

>>17353226
He's one of those positive people that no matter how bad someone is, he won't talk about them. He doesn't put anyone down, if anyone tries to bad mouth someone in a conversation with him even if he absolutely hates that person, he just says he doesn't want to talk about it.

She's also his first born and he seems to be extremely protective over her, he's also quite rough around the edges and uneducated, he's very much a classic woodsman. He's more likely to shoot me with his hunting rifle he has hidden behind our couch then to actively discuss an issue in which his daughter is being discussed in a negative fashion.

All jokes aside he wouldn't actually shoot me, but he would be extremely upset I would no longer be in the family and not his future son in law. When I'm not around and he discusses me in front of my girlfriend to acquaintences he refers to me as his son in law, which warms my cold heart ever so slightly.

>>17353234
Lease expired, the landlord wants to do month by month currently because the housing market is changing. Basically he's debating raising our rent to the max he can legally do it in September, at that point I'll have to see what he raises it too and either stay or find somewhere nicer. He's an older cheap Asian and all his repairs are done by him or his friends and they sure as fuck aren't handymen. So this apartment will more then likely not be worth his request and I or we will end up moving

>>17353259

The solution is simple: find a new place and sign a lease there, once found, tell your gf that you're not renewing your current least for the next month, and then move out.

Yeah, it's going to be emotionally stressful dealing with the breakup, but you'll get over it sooner than you think.