Get it off your chest
If you can't recognize that other people besides you have flaws and problems and crises they need to work though, I simply don't need you in my life. Period.
I am slightly concerned that I may fall for her. And that she'll fall for me.
But Geographic distance would be an issue
>>17350792
Do it faggot
>>17350792
bro what? are you just trolling for the attention?
Dear M-
I know you're incapable of understanding this, but I really wish you'd stop being such a dick to H-. I'm sure it's very difficult for you to share your space with anybody, but you two have to live in the same house now and there's nothing we can do about it. You've just got to get along. It'll be better for everyone if you do. I know she's a little bitch sometimes too, but she's scared and you are literally throwing your weight around to control her. That room downstairs isn't just for you and I really want H- to be comfortable there, which is impossible with you terrorizing her. You are making things difficult for the whole household.
>>17350792
yes, why not kill evil people instead of innocent animals? come on I think we can all agree that animals are better than 99.9% of people
There's a pretty cute redhead who started at my place of work recently, or in the department next to mine, who I'd like to ask out. I'm thinking I'll see if anyone can introduce me and go from there.
This girl is certainly going to be a more viable option than the doctor who's at least 15 years older than me.
I don't love you. I used to, I mean I thought I could not get another woman like you, but honestly, I just blinded myself. You don't love me and I doubt you ever will. It is quite the time I, we let each other go emotionally and don't hold up the past as a flaming torch to our platonic friendship. It was never a true friendship. Friends give mutually, because they want to, but I never got anything, you never wanted to give. I am exhausted wih all this shit. Don't misunderstand, I am glad for all these years, but I just can't do it anymore. I cannot love you, it is painful, it holds me down, all your bullshit, jealousy, clawing away at my person and the girls I might be interested in. The emotional manipulation for you know you were, and still are to an extent precious to me. I don't love you anymore, and looking back, I don't know why I did.
I think I'm having a panic attack. My heart has been racing for the past 30 minutes and I feel a sense of dread, but literally nothing is wrong. How do I stop this fucking fuck
>>17350829
breath in, did you intake an excessive amount of caffeine or something?
You could do push ups or some physical exercise, idk why but It's what I always did
>>17350833
I took two ibuprofen pills earlier for a head ache. Do you think that's causing this? I'll try to do some exercise, thanks
>>17350842
I was always worried advil stuff might dull my senses than anything, but then again I know nothing about chemistry and pharmaceuticals
IF MAN IS FIVE
IF MAN IS FIVE
IF MAN IS FIVE
THEN THE DEVIL IS SIX
THEN THE DEVIL IS SIX
THEN THE DEVIL IS SIX
THEN THE DEVIL IS SIX
AND IF THE DEVIL IS SIX
THEN GOD IS SEVEN
THEN GOD IS SEVEN
THEN GOD IS SEVEN
>>17350829
Do you have any xanax? If not, take 50mg of Benadryl or take some Nyquil. Basically you just need to get yourself tired and knocked out. Get a paper bag as well if you start hyperventilating. Most importantly, find a distraction to make you not think about it - distractions always help me
Sometimes I go through backpages and look at the girls who are my type and think about buying them for an hour just to spill my guts to them and maybe fuck them, but really just to say everything going on in my life right now and talk about what's wrong.
I haven't done it. It's just something I think about.
Kinda funny. The two girls that I may be interested in both share the same last name, but live on two entirely different continents.
I kind of wish I was autistic so I could blame how shit I am at life on it
>>17350969
Weird, I had the same thought.
I'm very confident in my sex skills, but I don't like the thought of someone else pleasing my ex more than I did.
110lb, probably less since I haven't been eating
acepromazine, half a pill of it
it's an animal sedative
at worst it'll make me tired but I still want to know if it'll do anything worth taking
>>17350598
I have very low self esteem and it completely ruined my whole social life and I'm afraid I won't even have to courage to post on 4chan.
When im done doing something for myself, seems that every other thing start falling apart. Men, i'm so tired of this, living is an actual pain.
I have a sexual attraction to my girlfriend's younger cousin
It took over so much that i offered her cousin money to give me a massage just so she could touch my body while i was nude
I wanted to feel her hands on my body and it lead to me getting an erection
i know it was wrong but it felt so good
I wish I was white.
I hate being Hispanic and this current trend of swj bullshit has only made me hate being Hispanic even more. I hate these spics that attack trump protests. Gangbangers, wet backs, those that wave the Mexican flag and disgrace the American one while asking the government to change things for them.
Fuck I hate them all so much.
I don't want to be an edgy person, but there are some people the world would just be better off without. I've meditated for years, became a peaceful person, but there are those that just won't ever change and are mistakes that need to vanish. The people that have been given many chances, blew it and continue to be nothing but burdens and sources of negativity to those around them.
You're such one individual and every night I pray to whatever that will answer that you'll die in your sleep. You've caused your family nothing but grief. You've stolen and back stabbed everyone that has known you. To wish you'd fall off a cliff and be eaten by mangy coyotes would be unfair. Those animals deserve a better meal than you.
I've just given up on an all-nighter studying for a re-take exam that I failed before.
I started college when i was 19, in 2009. I half-assed 2 years, fucked up a couple of modules in my second year and switched courses.
On the new course: I did reasonably well in the first couple of years, but then heading into what was allegedly my final year lost my grandmother, aunt, and uncle within the space of 2 months. I still managed 60-70% passing grades in 2 modules, but that left 5 remaining that I woefully fucked up because hey...bereavement utterly fucking sucks.
I took a year out, as recommended by the advisors, and landed a shitty retail job dealing with shitty people and earning shitty money. I discovered I'd have to cover the entire cost of my retake year...so elected to undertake it on a part-time basis so as to work at the same (in a new job at a travel money bureau) time and cover the costs.
Bring in the twin devils of procrastination and general fuck-headedness. I'd typically finish a four hour shift of work, figure that was me done for the day and sit around playing video games until late at night. Then wake up late on my day off and leave myself with fuck all time to do much in the way of studying. I missed lectures, I missed practical tests and I generally missed the fucking point of what I was paying thousands of dollars for.
So I had summer exams, bunked them off under the heading of "extenuating circumstances due to anxiety" and had the opportunity to retake the modules with no cap on the marking. This would have given me 3 months to study and work and achieve.
Did I do this? Did I FUCK. I continued my thumb-up-ass attitude and here I am, night before a heat-transfer engineering exam with the rough understanding of 4 lectures worth of material when I have about a year's worth to cover.
I'll probably even get another retake and maybe take a loan out to take everything full time next year. I literally fucking hate myself.
>>17351156
In I similar position although not quite as bad I have a couple of weeks till my resits and the work isn't particularly hard, some maths and physical Chem. I could pass if I worked for the next couple of weeks but I just can't bring myself to do it
>>17350908
Fuck yes.
>tfw pixies inspired me like crazy in HS
>tfw first time getting laid pixies came on my playlist
I've been recently lamenting my lack of art, music and animation the past five years. I think it's time to change that. Been listening to Pixies a lot recently again.
Never mind. Even if he's better in bed than I am, which I doubt, I'm still better in general. And I can always improve, in areas he can't. Touché.
>>17351114
It's cool, they'll vote in a woman because SJWs said "Women are on your side immigrants, we want equality too".
And then you'll watch your right to due process be ripped out from under you.
I strongly suggest moving back to mexico, because give it five years and you'll be safer there.
SJW's have every minority thinking they are all friends, but 2 weeks before that gay club was shot up they were all like "No, gays are normal now, we don't gotta represent them".
And which group is always seemingly oppressed no matter what, and speaks for almost all SJW's?
White bitches.
You're all gonna get the hell you deserve, the one you created.
You are currently in a different country for your work but I want you here right now in my arms. I want to hold you but I don't want to ruin your career.
>>17351164
Please believe me when I say that it is the easiest thing in the world to make bullshit self-platitudes of "oh yeah, I will definitely do it" or "oh you've still got time".
The most painful thing I have right now is the disappointment. Not from my family or friends - they essentially justify my procrastination and dumbfuckery as charming absentmindedness or the fact that "it's okay, he's a lovely guy".
No. The seething, gut-wrenching disappointment that whilst your peers have surpassed you by every conceivable metric; you are still there. You aren't even making an honest effort at things that students, 6 years your junior, are competently succeeding at.
I'm not struggling - that would imply some concerted effort on my part - I am literally evading every aspect of personal responsibility and accountability until the point of no return.
I don't know your circumstances, I don't know your justifications (trust me, I know we can validate any bullshit justification for doing nothing at all); but for the sake of fulfilling what you are capable of, what you've invested time and money into - get your shit together and just get the fuck on with it. Go to a library, break out the coffee, and just fucking do it. No one else will do it for you, no one else will hurt like you when you let yourself down yet the fuck again, so just fucking do it.
I confronted my deadbeat junkie dad about some of his behavior a few weeks ago, and he went off in a huff and stopped talking to me.
Those weeks of peace and quiet were the best of my life.
Then I got a call from emergency services, because my dad got hurt in a fall and named me as his emergency contact.
I took him home from the hospital, got his apartment cleaned up to a tolerable level, and brought home groceries for him because he had no food. He spent four straight hours berating me and calling me a failure and hellbound because I stopped attending his church (he is weirdly obsessively religious).
Then my stepmom came home, and threw out all the groceries because "they didn't need them" and insisting that she would buy groceries herself. Then she went to score drugs.
Dad's social worker tells me he will need someone functional to check in one day a week, and help with tasks around the house.
I spent all my teenage years taking care of them 24/7, and thinking about goign back to it, even one day a week put me in a deep depression.
Just being with them for that long, I can't see how they can live with themselves. Maybe that's why dad is high all the time.
I went home and got drunk for the first time in ages, and just wept like a baby. I don't want to do that agin or self-medicate in any pother way, but I sure as hell, don't know how I will get through this.
I'm so angry and depressed that I let them drag me back into their life. I hate the people they have become. I hate watching their spiral of self destruction. I hate knowing that there is nothing I can do to help, because any attempt at showing love or helping them just makes them fight and lash out harder.
Flirting with traps online cos I too afraid to talk to women. Jesus Christ.
>>17351186
This post hit hard, man. It hit really hard.
>tfw 28 and at home
>depression fucking wrecking me after countless fuck ups at jobs or lay offs
>happiest moment of my life was when I was still in school, 24 and about to move out but life fucked me over hard
>lost all interest in hobbies and living
>parents nudge me and support me "Oh anon is just going through a rough time"
>that rough time has been forever and now I'm just procrastinating
>feel like shit, trying to find a job but I'm so behind I'll only get mcjobs and anxiety consumes me daily until I sometimes drown it out with alcohol
>want to give college a go again but feel to old and still have no drive or passion
>friends that I run into always ask me how I'm doing
>that gut wrenching feeling when I smile and say "Same old same old. Just surviving and enjoying the weather."
>tfw I always tell them I work remotely from home (I did in the past) for a company when in reality I'm struggling to make any money doing stuff for neighbors
>tfw they always ask if I'm still painting, etc. like that's my big purpose of living
>just go blank and say "no"
I don't know where to go but this post is the truth. You have to want it. Right now I don't know what I want and honestly death would be great if no one would grieve. I feel so fucking lost and I know I can't afford help right now. All I'm doing is making myself get out of bed every day and try not to be a burden to my parents although I know they probably feel complete disappointment in their stupid son.
>>17351311
And they all look like like parodies of women, even the "passable ones". And they act like overdone stereotypes of women. But I'm desperate.
I'm paranoid of all my friends leaving me.
I act stupid sometimes but I'm always there for them but I feel like whenever I complain about something even though they listen and give advice, that they get tired of it.
They will get tired of me and leave someday.
I haven't kept a friend for more than eight years and every four years I have a completely new circle of friends, while the rest move on in life and we never speak again.
I know I'm strong and stable minded despite some insecurities about my body but I know I'm social enough and confident to be comfortable in any times of solitude and that I can make new friends whenever I want to.
I just wish I could get over you.
You made me feel so insignificant and irrelevant and turned me out to your friends like some kind of abusive monster. Why do you want to stay friends with me? Why are we so reliant on each other? Why can't we ever just say goodbye for real and on good terms?
Why do I feel so lonely without out you?
>>17351156
Did your grandmother, aunt, and uncle raise you or something?
Dear S,
I've been thinking days about you.
We're not best-friends anymore, because you're an overdramatical bitch.
You didn't like my new friend circle and my boyfriend. You told me you HATED them, because they will bring me down:
They don't do drugs, they socialy drink, intelligent, non-judgmental.
And look at yourself, S.
For years we've been best-friends, but somehow, after years of suffering, feeling bad about myself, it was because of you. You were the person that made me feel like shit and now letting go is so fucking good but painful as well.
We we're best friends for 11 years and look at us now.
Look at us fucking now.
>>17351050
Whenever I think about this it fucks me up.
>>17351319
Your bf pimped you out to his friends? That's pretty fucked up.
Good riddance, filthy slag.
>>17350908
This honkey's gone to heaven
>>17350598
just fucking let's just try something damn it, that long distance stint we pulled was a mistake...how many lesbians are going to have to break your heart before you realize I will always love you. I thank you for the best of times. but you fucking women and me fucking coke whores is NOT GOOD we need each other and if we can't have each other than so be it. I jsut have to pray love and lighting can strike twice... PS FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME GO THROUGH THIS SHIT WITH NO ONE TO SHOW ME ANY REAL LOVE FOR THIS LONG. Ive extended my hand to you so many times and I know you find glee in pulling it back just to hear you cry later that you want me in your life still...
I wish you could understand that you have problems and need to fucking get help. But I guess everything is my fault. Fuck you.
>>17351164
If the school thing cant be salvaged then you need to find what honestly makes you as a person happy.
I moved out, dropped out, living with a friend now who I did a few years in prison with..by all appearances my life is in shambles but honestly I got my games , my PC , my car family just a call away, romantic life fell to SHIT but Im optimistic on that front I know im not a piece of shit,,, just step back and remember what you want , what you need , and what you deserve. make a list..fuck it. ben frankiln made list ALL day apparently.
>>17351421
A.?
>>17351437
Ex at this point.
>>17351444
plead your case?
seems the ones that throw their hands up and say " I guess it's all my fault" need some growing up to do.
>>17351459
I was saying the exact opposite bud. I said I wish she could understand that it isn't all my fault, but she won't listen. She refuses to. Because in her mind I am in the wrong for everything and nothing good I did matters.
Do you bleed?
You will.
I work at one of the large banks' headquarters in NYC. There's this guy who works next to me and he is depressing/annoying the shit out of everyone. His life is complete garbage (his own fault) and he constantly moans about it. Today's topics included how he was going to break 300lbs soon but going to have pizza for dinner anyway, how he's many thousands of dollars in debt, and something about still being a virgin at whatever age he is, 30 or 40.
Like I normally don't give a shit about other people's lives, but he's spewing his shitty life all over everyone and it's annoying the piss outta me.
>>17351469
nah in times of break up thats ALL they think about man. ALL! if they thought of the good they'd be with you and that not what she wants...for whatever reason...relationships like this are Cancerous. hard to get out of smoothly. I think that's the reason some people cheat or do bad things to others, just makes it easier...
>>17351322
Essentially, yes.
I've always had a close-knit family on my Dad's side. He was doing night shifts when I was growing up, my Mom worked full-time during the day. Up to the age of 16 I'd spend summer months with my gran, aunt and uncle until it was time to go back to school again.
They were phenomenal people. I've come to realize that the few aspects of myself that I actually appreciate and enjoy are essentially my emulation of the things I loved about them.
>>17351316
My one point of recourse, and potentially yours as well, is that I'm young enough to still actually amount to something. It won't be the normal, well-trodden path of least resistance, but by actually establishing what I want to achieve and going about it in incremental stages...with an honest effort in doing so...I just think I might amount to something.
>>17351485
Yes. I'm sure you know how the saying goes, too. "If it bleeds..."
>>17351496
I'm so sorry, anon.
Those parts of yourself that you are so proud of, the things they taught you, will always be with you. In a way you are never alone.
I want to kill myself.
I don't really find any reason to hold on and live in this stupid world. I can't be happy, I used to find pleasure in a few things but it's not the same anymore. Even though lately I thought of a new way of living, a new reason to be here, it's hard to sort of reprogram your brain... Sometimes I just don't have the will to go on, to cheer up, to do things, to change them...
I feel lost and lonely. I wish I had at least one friend. Idk. Even writing this seems so futile.
>>17351508
This is true. It's just frustrating seeing all the things that need fixed that I can't touch right now. I guess my impatience leads to disappointment and I need to realize that I can't fix the mess that is 'me' in one swoop.
I've been trying to better myself but I'll make a list. Although I feel old at 28 most people still call me young. It still feels bad to know that I've been surpassed by people younger than me.
>>17351603
>>17351599
Thank you. That's genuinely comforting, take it easy anon.
"I just want to die" is such a common thought.
>>17351603
The problem is that we focus too much about what others think. Don't let negativity proselytize your way of thinking. Care for your self and dedicate yourself for a purpose.
I'm bummed dudes.
I've had this friend for something like 17 years.
We were best buds, you know?
Like, the type of friend where you can just make a grunt and a gesture and they'll know everything you mean.
The type of friend where if you were in a warzone, you'd trust with your life.
He got married two months ago. A year ago he started dating her. That sound stupid as fuck, right? Yeah it is.
Anyways despite their relationship being amateur as fuck, it is what it is. I've gotten over it.
Now I'm salty as fuck because we used to share an apartment for 5 years, we split ways a month ago, and now he's posting on Facebook about how he's having his first official guests at his new apartment.
I feel petty for being emotional about it, but god damn I've been his best friend for almost 20 years.
And he invites some people he's known for less a year over me?
It hurts me.
Like, he's been almost a friendless loser for over 10 years. I was his only friend. Now he gets a wife and is assimilated into her friends circle.
I wasn't even best man at his wedding.
I'm getting pathetically emotional over here, but I was like his brother and he's forgotten about me now that he's got a girl.
The worst bit is that their marriage will break up. She's got more than a dozen mental illnesses. Fuck, I lived with her for a few months. It will end.
And where will I be?
A thousand miles away. And what friends will he have?
None.
I seem like a jealous fag in this post, but we were genuine friends. Good friends are hard to come by in this day and age.
The type of friends where you could stand back to back against anything.
We were like that. True brothers.
But now? We're nothing and that hurts.
>>17351607
You ever watch/read One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest?
There's a character who only says "I'm tired" until he has a lucid moment where he describes the hardships of his life and ends with "I'm tired'.
I'm tired.
>>17351511
It's a superman quote you dip.
I'm falling in love too fast and this scares the shit out of me
>>17351733
If you're a man, then you should desperately try to restrict that emotion
I wish I didn't have an interest in CIA mind control and social experiments. I've read so much about it over the years and it has caused me to not be able to conform in social situations. Now I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Group think makes me feel like I'm in a cult. I always have to pretend I don't know what the social dynamics are and it's exhausting.
I can't agree just to fit in without thinking for myself so I either remain silent or cause a ruckus. Over the years I've learned to live as an actor to get what I want since I can't rely on truth from other humans. I feel completely alone.
I literally feel like a spy in every situation with nobody to report to.
Why is my girlfriend questioning our relationship?! I've done nothing wrong, I do everything to make her happy but she keeps drifting away. Now she's thinking about wether she want s to be with me or not. This fucking hurts. Especially when she denied me the first time I asked her out. We were just going to stay really good friends. Then she told me that she had feelings for me. Fast forward to a month later, now she's doing this fading and coming close again then fading again. It's especially hard because she lives and hour away and we both have jobs. I just can't stand to lose her.... she's the only person I want to love
Honestly I'd just like to find some neat people to talk to. Social interaction is something I severely lack and I'd like to fix that.
I just wanna feel like I'm appreciated man. Apparently that's harder than it sounds.
I always low key had a giant crush on you and I never once said anything about it to you while living here. I never told you goodbye properly or that I love you. But now that you moved to Sacramento and are enjoying your life there more than when you lived in Oregon, I can't help but feel so fucking happy for you. Yet, I'm still sad I don't see you in person at work anymore. It's only a matter of time until I see you again K.B, I love you.
I have this desire to do something spontaneous and destructive and I recently discovered a way to make it go away temporarily, but I'm still looking for something that will make it go away forever. Preferably something safe.
My family's dog is sick and I really don't want him to die, but the fact of the matter is, he is old and his time is coming up. Fuck.
I wish my sister would stop teasing about my "how cute I am." I'm about a 4/10, but she seems to think it's a good idea to make fun of me by pretending that I'm so attractive that women are flocking to me and I'm just too oblivious to see it. She insists that she's serious, but I'm not stupid.
I finally made contact with this person I've been interested in and, just as I suspected, we don't have any chemistry. After I finally managed to break the ice by asking her things I knew she would have good answers to (she did), I didn't have any idea what to say after that, and neither did she. She is conceited, suspicious, and borderline-judgmental. I know I should just leave this alone, but a part of me doesn't want to. A part of me doesn't want to give up, even though I know that there's really nothing there. Maybe it's just the part of me that just thinks she's cute. Or maybe it's the part that just wants me to see the insanity that this person harbors for myself. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Speaking of which...
Am I ever going to see this? I really want to. I've read about it, encountered people online who are acquainted with it, but I never get to actually see it myself. I find it fascinating, and I want to see it, but I never can. Why? Honestly, it probably boils down to my parents. The way I was brought up makes it really hard for me to see this IRL. I guess it will be easier for me to find success once I graduate and become completely independent. I know, I know, setting a deadline for success/happiness/whatever is never a good idea. I wish I had a response to that. But I don't.
We'll just wait and see how it goes.
My current relationship is falling apart as my gf is beings complete bitch who is cold to me. She tells me she is depressed but simulationeously angry at me irrationally at the dumbest of things.
I cant help but fucking hate her i could care less if shes depressed if shes mean to me
Meanwhile in my college class i sit next to a girl 3 maybe 4 years older than me who i feel really good vibes from and i mean like anything on my mind i dont need a filter for before i speak. I go for really intelligent women generally.
I want to make it work with other girl but she wont open up to me or really dedicate anything to improvement
>>17352127
>i could care less
>could care less
Faggot.
You can't even speak English and you except your girl to stay with you?
First of all, depression doesn't mean "I'm just sad all the time".
It means a dampening of spirits. Good, bad, sad, happy, angry.
So your girl being angry doesn't mean she's not depressed.
It means that this one thing she's angry about is especially grand.
Maybe she's depressed and borderline. That makes weird shit.
Anyways, you seem like a sperg faggot. Learn to read emotions, idiot
>>17352159
>except your girl to stay
>except
Faggot.
>>17352170
Look, I've drank in the last hour more than your last year.
Expect and accept sound the same.
Let it go
I hope to see you again, someday.
>>17352190
After the bitch fit you had?
You are such a fucking faggot.
That is why she left.
I miss you so much and I never stopped loving you. I love you.
God I hope I mean actually something to you. Please talk to me, I want you to notice me. I hope I'm not disposable. I love you so much.
I want to kill my parents
I want someone to take care of who will also take care of me
>>17352320
We all do. Life is shit, drink up.
I have really intense anxiety over death. Life feels really fragile and I feel like if I close my eyes then I won't be able to protect my loved ones. I don't ever want to be in a position where I wouldn't be able to protect my family, friends, or boyfriend.
I really am afraid that I might be obsessive over death, I know it's not normal to worry to this extent. I have incredibly bad luck so I just spend my days waiting for something big and bad to happen.
My boyfriend recently had an MRI done and I absolutely lost my mind over the thought of him dying from some tumor in his brain. I will cry and cry and cry because there's a possibility that I could lose him permanently.
I think my anxiety has gotten a lot worse recently, and I'm not sure what triggered it, but for now I'm too afraid to go to sleep with the chance of something terrible happening when I'm not awake
D,
I don't understand why you would still want me around. You have everything you never had in your life growing up. You've your own place, a job you don't hate going to, close friends and co-workers, a new adoptive family like the one you never had, and someone you can hold and cuddle and feel peaceful with. I don't see any reason why you would still talk to me or acknowledge my existence after what I did to you. I can't forgive myself for it and I've contemplated cutting it all off or just offing myself for what I did. But you still talk to me despite everything, still tell me things, confide in me. I don't get it. By all rights you should have left me to rot already and I wouldn't blame you for it. I don't know how or when to ask why. I think I missed a chance to recently, and I don't want to just spring this on you. I doesn't make any sense to me, really. Maybe one day I'll figure it out, and whatever the answer may be, thank you. I don't know where I'd be now without you, I'm grateful I'm still wanted to some degree. I just don't get why.
C.
Need some advice.
4 years ago I met two different type of women.
One was a chubby cute girl that liked anime, was into games (point and clicks actually, so something of note) and was horny as FUCK. Did some stuff while on her friend's car while she watched, Fucked on trains and on the beach, and LOYAL to boot. Loved rollercoasters and going into adventure trails, bunge jumping.
Bad traits where she was kinda crazy and the horny as fuck part was somewhat off a turn off due to being like that on the most innaproppiate places. Hated to cuddle and wanted a kid after a year of going out.
Other girl was shy, into some anime, but only some stuff. No vidya but marios and birds. Skinny and sporty, loves volleyball and futbol/soccer. A bit of a prude since she only likes sex in missionary and it took me 6 months of going out JUST to have sex. Does not like fast rollercoasters or fast action, so no bungee jumping or sky diving.
Bad traits where she gets angry fast and does stupid shit.
I had a chance to marry one. I choose sporty girl.
Now 4 years later, chubby girl is married and has a kid. When I found out, i was sad and I dont know why. I now think about what my life could have been with chubby girl constantly and want to make it stop. Why is this messing with my head so much? Is it because of the whole "not having it, so you want it" deal? Is it becuase of being married so many years just now I hit the point where I am kinda bored and famtazizing about other women?
Of all my f.buddies and dates, these are the only two girls I care about. What can I do to make it stop?
Posting in mobile so bare with me
Could someone help me?
I love someone. We were together for a long time but no longer. This person did some things and in a sense it's good that they're gone.
This love mutates to hatred and disgust then back to love almost on a daily basis. I go from wishing we were together to wanting this person as far away from me as possible.
How do I deal with this? I think that at its core, I want this person back since this is the most prominent feeling. But I also know I can never trust or look at this person with the same eyes ever again, unless I decide to ignore a lot of things they did and that'll undermine my self confidence and love.
Thanks for torturing some ugly bitches for me their smashed in faces via traffic accidents is really great, the footage is sometimes on camera.
>>17352537
These situations hurt, it looks like you went with someone who looked better and let someone go who you were more in love with. Although, she was obviously interested in a family off the get go. That was your time to say no, you did and you stood up for yourself.
Similar story;
In grade 6 girl I like comes to say hi in local arcade
I say hi and ask her what's up
She says nothing then goes to giggle with friends
Every moment after that was regret
She started a relationship with that guy and to this day they are still together (and now engaged)
Every little thing we do with others is important.
Also
What are retarded things sporty girl does?
>>17352723
I was really mostly in love with both.
I like sports, but I am a complete weeb at the same time.
I like how the chubby girl is smart, but do not like that she cannot do anything sport wise.
I love how my wife is sporty, sometimes better than me, but does not know who Casanova or Marco Polo is.
Also, I was not ready for a kid back then. 19 and not even enough on my bank account for 2. I just joined the military and was still on my first tour. A kid could have changed a lot, but I will now never know.
By retarted things I mean she will get angry and not think things through.
Got in a fight with her and aimed with a really expensive vase. Wasn't even ours. That is what I mean.
Either way, is too late now for me to do anything BUT slowly forget the other girl and wish her happiness as she raises her kid, as she wanted to be Mom. Maybe one day we will talk again, but for now, it will be better to put "a lid" on it and continue with my own life.
If only alternate universes / time travel could be had to know how it would feel..
I miss you. I think you miss me top. At least I hope you do. You should message me. We should try to reconnect at this point.
I hate it that the one time in forever I've met a woman that clicks with me on a lot of levels, talking wise, interests, black humor, politics, she's seeing someone else.
I want to try and not fall for her because I know its silly to get attatched, but I feel like there's a sliver of hope in holding out for her. It's a stupid notion.
>>17352806
If that's how you feel, you should probably do the messaging. You'd have to be a special kind of crazy or desperate to randomly hit up your ex because of an anonymous letter on 4chan, which is basically what you're hoping will happen. Hope is not a plan.
I am a retard. I dont like myself for few years already. I've been a lying and manipulating cunt that plays the overall honesty card really fucking well.
The only thing that I'm good at is psychology, I can think rationaly and be supportive, but when it comes to me, I am cunt that cant help itself get better. I sometimes want to hurt myself for being this way but thats not an option and I know that. Do I need to go to the psychiatrist to fix some issues I got in my head or what? Also, I broke up with my gf today, and I actually dont feel sad or anything. I didnt feel sadness so fucking long, not even pure happiness, there is only like the feel of regret that I didnt kill myself when I could have jumped of that bridge.
I feel emptiness, people come to me only when they need help, and I help them whenever I can. But then again, I'm overall insensitive cunt and I know it. When I talk, people can feel that I have no feelings left inside me. I'm dead inside.
I guess I was pushing my feels so deep inside that I killed them. I had a rough childhood. Dad got sick, forgot who I am, while I was helping him, I was a stranger for him. The girl I was with at the time destroyed me mentally so hard that I couldnt breathe. It passed almost 4 years since then, and I still feel like shit.
I was overall happy kid, but shit changed and I dont know what to do with my life.
>Pic is me
I secretly dislike my mother.
>>17352688
Is it possible this person has changed? With you being conflicted, this would go a long way.
Feelings that persist for a long time after a break up, if mutual, are one of the only reasons to try again.
You should talk to them at the least. We only live once and genuine feelings are rare.
>>17352948
I'm genuinely afraid they'll stop loving me one day. We still keep in touch but she's in a new relationship, although she told me this week she hasn't moved on yet.
>>17352948
And no, I don't think they've changed yet. But maybe one day, then maybe I can reconsider, if she wants me back too.
>"Anon, you're like the equivalent of a gay best-friend, except you're not gay."
I mean I've known for ages that I'm friendzoned as fuck but damn, not even sure whether to laugh or cry at this point.
>>17350598
I'm a big guy....
>>17353240
For me
I feel like such a piece of shit. I had to stop dating this amazing girl because of my mental health.It gets in the way of everything and I'm just so tired of it.
I think I've come up with a truism recently, which is that there are multiple realities, and the goal of each one is to deny the existence of all others. By realities, I mean ways of perceiving the world, and viewing it in ways such as optimistically, pessimistically, striving for perfection, aiming to be alone, wanting to be social, etc.. As my mood continues to turn on a dime (I think it's a genetic trait), so too does it seem that the only constant is how everything's changing. This might seem like a bad thing, but it's actually quite nice. No great aspect of life is ever truly lost, it's just tucked away, and you need to find the right trigger to reawaken it. On a few occasions I've just been walking to my classes on a routine day, and picked up a smell which reminded me of my childhood, and the bitterness and nihilism of my time spent on the internet washes off. The internet's quite good at this as well. The real energy behind all things is malleable, so have a lot of patience, because despite what your mind may tell you, the search for truth does not end in the pit of despair.
Does any of this make sense?
I don't think there is any escape from my sexually degenerate side. I hate it. Help.
Either I'm ugly af or okcupid is fucking with me. I think it's the latter because I get a reasonable amount of matches on tinder. Mostly big women though
>>17353724
Post profile or pic. Or tell us about yourself - maybe you're just an asshole and that's it
I'm trying to help my uncle install software by going the whole way and attempting to set up remote desktop bullshit because he doesn't know how to run an .exe. He can hardly follow the incredibly simple and easy to follow instructions I'm sending him. Please god help me before I throw myself out of the window.
It was fun while it lasted.
/adv/, got any songs about forgetting her and being thankful for having your friends?
>>17353504
Yes
>>17353787
https://youtu.be/75Oct1Qv8x0
A classic
>>17353736
Rate
>>17353928
You're black, found your problem
>>17353787
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owLrG05UmA0
I got a new job recently but I don't know how I feel about it.
It's a new experience, different to what I'm used to and the actual job itself I think I'm really enjoying and having fun with learning new things I don't think I've ever learned this well.
But the manager is a really nasty bitch, the second day at this new job she had a meeting with me about my hygiene, which was completely out of order because I take care of myself. Since then she's just proven on numerous occasions how horrible she is.
I've applied for other jobs and I have an interview tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I want to do that job. I'm not sure if I should just suck it up, stop being a little bitch and just deal with this manager and hope she keeps me on. Or if I should go and risk having a bad experience like this happen again.
Life is hard.
Few things make me feel so adult as when i throw away half my coffe instead of drinking it all.
I'm not attracted to my bf anymore. I don't know if I ever really was, or if I just convinced myself I was because he's all I have right now. He says he loves me, but only if I've prompted him to say it somehow, by being upset or by saying it first, but he spends all his free time avoiding me and telling me he wants to be by himself, and I just don't believe he really loves me anymore. I gave up so much to be with him, I thought it as what I wanted, and now he's all I have. I can't leave him because there's nothing else in my life but I'm so miserable. He does his best to give me all the things and experiences I want but I feel so alone every time I'm with him. So now I sit here in my gilded cage because I locked myself in. I don't know what to do.
Why the fuck am I surrounded by retards
How can you be so bad at what you study that after two years you still can't fucking parse a string correctly.
Went to my first AA meeting in more than a year on Monday, going again to today in about an hour.
Everybody's been so nice; people calling to see how I'm doing and to call them anytime I feel like drinking, or even after I drank.
I feels nice to be wanted somewhere again, if that's the principle of the group. Still, it feels nice. A lady saw me shaking and stuttering when it was my turn to talk and she gave me a hug and said everything was going to be okay and I almost cried.
Things get better, for anyone here, no matter your circumstances.
There is always good to be found in the least likely of people, places, and things.
Shit's going to get better. Hang in there.
>>17353981
>I don't want to know what to do.
Fixed it for you. You're welcome.
>>17350598
I want to jump off a building for about 2 years now
>>17353991
Because parsing strings is boring and not entirely trivial unless you do it the retarded way.
>>17354031
That's a really high building.
>>17354044
wot
>>17354044
You're my kind bro, bro
I simply want nothing to do with anyone, and it is simply out of nothing but selfishness.
All I want to do is listen to podcasts, shitpost, play guitar and read.
The idea of talking to someone or having to be nice and polite just feels like an annoyance to me, even to family and friends.
I'd like to know what might be happening to me, but at the same time I feel sort of liberated.
Confession:
Years ago i usedto to this carding site where people post cc info. Iused 1card for 2grand on brazil fetish porn and a atleast 1grand on playing eve online random ammounts on pc application and i dont even own a pc today .guess trying to get this shit of my chest it been along time since i have done anything like and know i have fucked up lots of peoples lives guess i believe in badkarma cause aint nothing been right in my life since.idk just trying to get it out my head and move on .Lost alot of friends been through so much drama that im sick.thats all amen
I don't want to fight/drink alcohol because I'm afraid that i will enjoy that
>>17354079
When i feel like this i always ask myself why i still keep shitposting on a Filipino coral diving bbs.
My roommate's cigarette smoke is killing me. Believe me, I've tried everything but nothing helps. The only safe place is in my small bedroom (not enough room to move everything into here, I have to leave stuff out in living room) but even this place isn't always safe, I've had mornings where I got abruptly woken up because he cigarette smoke was so strong I couldn't breathe and had to leave the house there and then. I can't move for another year but I want to die now.
>>17354218
You're roommate smokes in the apartment?
Tell your roommate that anon thinks he's a huge butthole.
When I went to camp awhile back I got into a relationship with a girl named A..... and at the end of camp she gave me her phone number as one would and when I got home I didn't have it it was gone I never found it to this day I have no ducking clue where it went and I never found it and k never saw her again or heard from her I went back to the camp the same time the next year because we were both c.i.ts and she wasn't there and I'm scared she had maybe killed herself or something and I think about this aloe and it happened 4years ago
I have a degree in Technical Writing and IT and I can't fucking stand the field. But I'm smothered in student debt and will forever have room mates since I'll never give a shit about my 'career' enough to get decent pay...
And I have no idea what I'd rather be doing.
I also can't stand how shit nerd personalities are. Why am I the only nerd who knows how to talk like a human and be nice. You cliquey, triggered, specialized, insectoid fucks.
>>17354264
cliquey?
Normal people are cliquey. It's fucking annoying.
>>17354293
To a point... 'normies' will at least play along and give you the chance to surprise them. And might even admit they were wrong in their judgment.
Maybe it's just easier to take a dismissive glance from a normie than it is some overweight troll with cheeto stains on their hands.
Either way, annoying in both situations. But in one you expect it. In the other, you kinda just wanted to be yourself, play nerd games, and escape from the world of normies. So getting snubbed by peasant-cliques stings and incites rage.
I feel like I'm being controlled in my relationship and find other girls more attractive now
I have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life and it's stressing me the hell out.
I'm sick of lacking solid direction in my life and it's actively crippling my growth as an individual as well as any prospects of achieving other goals I might have later down the line (ie like having a family).
>>17354358
Right there with you. Though I'd rather have a group of breeder-less friends, myself. Too many kids, too many people, why should I squirt out more bastards with my high anxiety, ADD-riddled DNA.
I just want to enjoy life, make it easier for others, and then diggity die.
I'm on the autistic spectrum, that's it, that's all you need to know.
I wish my friends would include me more.
I'm nearing my thirties and I still don't feel like I 'click' with society. Everything feels like a song and dance with most people preaching but never putting it to practice. My money, save for necessities and books, is used for the less fortunate. It's not uncommon for me to take homeless people out for lunch, listen to their lives, or help at shelters or kitchens.
I don't follow celebrities, music, have a fb, twitter, tinder etc. I don't understand it. I've had flings and women before but it never satisfied me fully. It felt like a pleasurable distraction from something bigger.
I want to figure out this inner conflict and find purpose. I don't know what to do. I feel boxed in no matter what city and the faces are the same. I feel a greater calling I can't grasp. Being a monk would be splendid but I'm not a religious or spiritual man. Then again, maybe I am an animal reborn as this? It would explain why this life has felt so alien. I have been told multiple times in my life that I had a gold aura. I guess that's special.
I think I'm worried I don't love my girlfirend? But 10 minutes ago I would of swore I did. What's going on?>?A?
I don't love my family and I don't love my girlfriend. If I had a job and some savings, I'd ditch them both and get a place to live by myself.
Instead I'm a leech and reliant on people who love me unconditionally even though I give nothing back.
>>17354363
Man I wish I even knew where to begin.
I have so many ideas of what I could do, or what I'd be good at, but I always find some negative counter point which makes me hesitate and prevents me from moving forward.
>>17353750
Try doing the same thing but for a job.
>>17354439
Oh god, good luck with everything anon. Is the pay good at least?
Here's an update if you're interested: in four hours I managed to get him to allow remote connections and create an invitation file, and he sort of managed to create a new email address because his low quality email provider won't work on IE8. At least I think he did, he said it wouldn't let him log in (I think he was trying to put in his email password into the remote assistance password field, I don't know) and then he was describing some page I couldn't find after creating my own throwaway account and he wouldn't give me the URL. I wanted to originally use Easy Connect but it doesn't look like I'm able to, so I don't know if this is going to work in the first place. I'm gonna try and get my cousin to go over, apparently "he's good with computer stuff", but I'm a little skeptical.
God, if only he could install Teamviewer or something.
I get off on slasher/torture horror movies, and I have no idea why. I can't get off to porn anymore, not even the hardcore stuff. It only works if the killer is masked and doesn't talk.
I'm also on the search for a platonic dom that will do nothing but sadistic shit to me. I have no interest in having sex or kissing or cuddling. I lost all interest in sex and romance since I left my partner last week. I just want to be hurt.
I think I'm losing my mind. Is this how I react to loneliness?
Yes I'm far away but get your ass over here, and stay. I will love you and treat you well and we will do lots of fun stuff and have lots of sex. We will be happy. Come.
>>17354834
Tell that to her then, you donkey
I don't know any more. This loneliness just hurts.
I'm 26, have a 4 year degree, I own my own home, have no debt aside from the mortgage, and have a stable office job.
I have no friends, I've never dated, and it just hurts. When I was young I took things so seriously, and when I wasn't doing that I buried myself in distractions.
I don't even know how or where to meet people, and have trouble relating to others.
>>17354840
You know what's sad? I'm so fucked I envy you.
Everytime I'm on someone's house, I ask to go to the bathroom and I grab their toothbrushes and I brush my butthole
>>17354840
Are you still virgin?
>>17354852
of course
but the lack of friends hurts more than the lack of sex
>>17354855
What is keeping you away from making friends at the office? have you tryed?
I'm starting to feel like i should try again to be happy.
This makes me scared because experience tells me i'll fail and bring even more misery to myself than what i have right now.
Today i also realized i have a fast way to kill myself in my house; it feels tempty.
>>17354835
I'm worried I will scare him.
Besides, he's not even in the same country as me. It's so dumb, but I can't help it.
>>17354865
Just do it. Better to speak from your heart than keep it bottled up.
>>17354846
Ditto.
You can make friends any time.
But a career requires something more.
>>17354840
My advice to you is to go out and meet people.
My current group of friend I know because I dated a girl through OKCupid, made friends with her ex (she was weird like that) and then made friends with his friends.
All through going through online dating.
Just meet people in whatever way you can.
Join clubs. There are lots in every city.
For clubs, it often cuts the awkward phase of "Do you want to hang out?" like you do with coworkers.
Meet people any way you can.
>>17354865
Hearing that from the person I love is all I want and everything I need.
>>17354861
>What is keeping you away from making friends at the office? have you tryed?
yes and I regret it
they are all 5-10 years older than me, married, like different things, and look down on me for not being like them
I don't talk to them about my personal life any more.
Dear god/lady luck/whichever deity has it in for me
Can you please stop having life punch me in the dick? Seriously its been 7 years of non stop getting shit on. What did I do to deserve this? Was I fucking Hitler in a past life or something? If this keeps up for the next 60 years when I die I'm coming for your ass you hear me?
>>17354862
I've been through some tough times, mate.
There was a point when I was younger that I spent pretty much a year alone in a room only going out to get food (I ate dates and bologna sandwiches).
I was pretty fucking miserable.
But I broke out of it. I went back to school. I graduated. I'm in a bit of a rough time now, but I know I can make it through because I did the last time.
What you got to do is start small.
Just go out and go for a walk in the sun. Or sit and read in a park.
Cook yourself a good meal.
Clean the house a bit.
Small things that can take as little as 15 minutes.
But it builds. It's like a snowball rolling down hill.
You just need the start
I still love you and it hurts
I have feeling for a girl who will never reciprocate them. She's used me for everything imaginable, money, attention, etc. and I can't shake her. I wouldn't call it love in the slightest, it's just a pathetic bastardized version of sympathy that I can't seem to ignore.
>>17350598
It's tough being an alcoholic when you've got no one else to guide you to sobriety. I come home to my apartment alone, having done stupid things, I got into fights with people, some won, some lost. I broke my nose in one of them, I cracked my ribs too, but there was no one there to ask if I was alright, no one to comfort me. My family's gone. My friends are gone. All I do is hope the next drink I have poisons me or kills my liver. I just want to live, not exist. Drinking everything from lagers, ales, pilsners, stouts IPAs, wine, whiskey, rum, etc. it's the only thing I find some form of enjoyment in. I never usually come on /adv/, as I've got other stuff to do, but I made an exception this. I need to get my mind back on track, try and be happy again. I just need that extra help.
What should I do, /adv/?
>>17354894
Seriously, there are somethings you can just vent and feel better about, but there are others that won't really make a difference unless you directly tell them to someone. It might not need to be him/her you tell that to, but have it be someone you can trust who you trust enough to have a conversation with about it
>>17354883
See:
>>17354873
You don't need to look for friends to make them, they just appear if you go out and interact with people.
When I moved to another city to start my career I was alone, didn't know anyone in this city, in my first classes I was forced to make a group and I made a friend, he introduced me to their friends, now I'm part of an 8+ peoples group, we hang out, drink, go to nightclubs.
He even introduced me two female friends of him, I've fucked both of them (first one in 2012, second one last year)
We've been friend since 2012 and we still are, just because I went to that class.
And that's not the only friend I've made here.
>>17354907
I'm an alcoholic too (I'm currently drunk/returning to normal).
I don't know how I can help you, but you're not alone.
I can only really say two things.
The first is to not be bored. I drink because I'm bored. Find some friends who have fun sober and that'll make it so much easier. If you have friends that drink often, you get trapped into that loop.
The second is that it gets easier once you pass the hump.
Go 3 nights in a row without a drink and you begin to see how can you live without being drunk.
It's then you start to feel the strong parts of withdrawal, but once you pass that, you start to feel good.
Like waking up in the morning feel comfy instead of shitty. Man that feels good.
You're a true straight son of a bitch for wanting to quit and you can do it. It's hard but doable and it makes you a strong person.
>>17354891
I don't know. I tried so much from 17 to 21 only to fail that i am really afraid to try again.
I haven't been happy since i was 15 and i don't even remember how it feels to be happy. The only thing the pursue of happy brought me was sadness, before i wasn't happy but i didn't have this constant feeling reminding me that i feel like shit.
The thing that brings me most fear the possibility of being sucked even more to this nightmare.
>>17354907
Go to some AA meetings, if you think it's good for you keep going, If you think they're all losers and it's not for you, you're better than you think.
Meet women, get a girlfrind if possible, look for someone sweet and fun, someone you can talk to, not just some whiny sexy bitch.
>>17354925
18-22 was my shit period. I'm 27 now.
I went to university across the country away from my friends and family. Had a sort of break there. It wasn't very good.
But I came out of it.
Nothing is as bad as the first time when you understand what rock bottom is.
It's always better the next time if at least for the bottom being familiar.
One thing that really surprised me after coming out of my funk was how good being happy was. You forget about it when you're feeling down. You forget how good it can feel.
It's always worth it to try. Even if you fail.
Surprised with how quickly we became friends....
I think I am better friends with her than my normal friends....
Talking for 3-5 hrs easy every night..... Such odd topics though
>>17354932
>Meet women, get a girlfrind if possible, look for someone sweet and fun, someone you can talk to
While this is a good idea, I think a good strong friend really helps more.
Having a straight talk with a good friend without any sort of worries about seeming unattractive.
I think a lot people lack that type of intimacy and it's important to have.
Having a woman in your life is good for the affectionate type of love, but there are other types of love and they're all important.
>>17351726
that quote has been around forever. before superman eve. i wont call you a dope tho
>>17354943
Infatuation, nigga.
It's normal.
It'll pass.
>>17354914
>>17354873
thanks for the advice I suppose
by a lot of metrics I have my life all sorted, but I often feel I only made it to that point because I skipped a bunch of steps along the way.
>>17354949
I feel literally no attraction to her.
I only see her as a good friend. that's it
>>17354941
My shit period has been going since i was 13.
The bottom for me will be the barrel of a gun. The only reason i haven't killed myself is my family, specially my sister but i think if i fail i'll do it and that's why i don't try.
>>17354966
Suicide isn't the bottom.
It's a response to being at the bottom.
You can make it through this. You just gotta start building.
The future isn't set. Never think that it is.
You'll have no way of knowing this, but you're the reason I drink. I wish you'd just tell me what a piece of shit I am instead of this artificial compassion and attraction to me. I wish you'd cut me off because I'm unable to do it myself
>>17354834
Please say this!
>>17354835
>>17354986
Don't listen these faggots, it sound like a good idea in paper, movies, etc, in reality doesnt works.
If you tell her that, she'll think you're a looser, and even if she doesn't it WILL be awkward, and the most attractive thing to girls is confidence.
Talk to her, hang out with her, throw her little compliments, be subtle, make her know you like her, but not too directly, DON'T BE AKWARD FOR GOD'S SAKE, you might ruin your chances.
Good luck man, there's nothing as good as finding true love, and don't listen to faggots, true love exists, not all girls are bitches.
I know you're leaving soon but I want you to know I really wish you wouldn't I know this is the best for you and I'm not going to tell you. I feel pretty crazy with how much I need you and I know you're busy with scholarships and making games but can't you just talk to me? I don't want to force you but it'll be nice if you just talked to me sometimes.
>>17355015
>If you tell her that
>her
>implying it isn't a closeted anon trying to ask a guy out
>>17355029
Yes I also implyed it isn't a zoophilic grandmother talking about a monkey.
I also implyed it isn't a pedophile father talking about his son.
God, there are so many possibilities
>>17355029
I'm not a guy and he's not a she.
But does it matter? Anon might be right anyway, it will probably make things awkward.
Getting difficult to keep it subtle though.
>>17355085
>I'm not a guy and he's not a she.
so your trans then?
either way anon it's just fine and I hope you find the courage to not let love slip away from you
i don't know how i feel about you sometimes
i know that you are important to me
but i know that if you weren't here i would still be able to live my life
sometimes thinking about being with you annoys me and gives me headaches
sigh
i wish i was better at this
i want to be happy with you like you seem to be with me
but at the same time you repress your emotions constantly
you are pretty fucked up yourself
but the times it's not i do feel very lovingly about you
the few moments where i've actually laughed and meant it were wonderful
and the times when we are heartfelt and totally open are rare but worth it
i won't leave you
i couldn't, not for grievances of grayness
but i wish i could be with you without this dullness that pervades me about you
even that being said
i do miss you
and am eager for you to come back
so i can feel your warmth on me again
and maybe forget how we lack
after all relationships are less a testament to compatibility as they are commitment
if you are dedicated you don't have to get along perfectly
although it makes things easier
we resonate too well now to forgo any other option
maybe that's our crime?
sigh
or maybe i'm just fucking tired
and need some water
body and mind
or maybe you
or a hug in general
I knew she didn't want me. She told me as much.
I knew it on an intellectual level, but it wasn't until a thing happened that made it hit me on an emotional level that she didn't want me, that i was able to start letting go.
That emotional realization almost made me puke.
>>17355085
Wait wait wati, you're a woman?
That changes it all, then it depends a lot on the guy.
ask him to do something, invite him to your place to watch movies, if he's intrested in you, you'll notice it, again go with the subtle compliments, if you get no comeback on the compliments start trying some physical interaction, sit closer to him when watching movies, after like half of the movie lean on him, and even try to hug his left arm (if you're on his left).
If nothing works, just tell him you want to try something, and kiss him, his reaction would tell you everything.
Good luck, and I hope he's not a douchebag.
And, finally, there is no longer even the possibility of contact.
Very bittersweet, as I truly believe we were meant to grow old, together.
So it goes...
>>17355127
iktfb
>>17355105
>>sigh
Oh my god, this is so cringeworthy and pathetic. Not trying to insult you though.
This looks like something I would have written when I was 12, even 13.
Dude if you're under 16 years old, It's ok, if not, you need to let it go, hang out with more people.
You sound like you don't have much of social interaction.
>>17355121
Also, to make a women attracted to someone, you need to make her fall both from her ears and from her eyes, but specially from her ears.
With men, you catch them from their eyes, so you don't need that much of previous work for jumping on him, with him liking your looks it's enough.
You know, if a girl kisses a random guy in a nightclub, almost any guy will be happy with it, if a guy kisses a random girl, he might have trouble.
>>17355131
i don't think using sigh connotates immaturity
it encapsulates a feel of being disheartened and disappointed
i use it pr often
my socialization may be shot though
i grew up in a big family, and was popular at school while i grew up but a homebody anywhere else
now that i'm older and am rather indifferently involved in many groups of friends i believe one of my aspects may have been overstimulation rather than lack of stimulation--not necessarily a problem, but would explain why you find me out of sorts
sigh
it's an easy and welcome idea to use on this board
good to let it out
>>17355092
no, she is a she and he is a he
>>17355146
>i don't think using sigh connotates immaturity
It doesn't matter what you think.
When it comes to language, the only thing that matters is what everyone else thinks. Because that's the point of language.
You sound like a fag.
>>17355146
Nope, "sigh" does not connotates inmadurity, it connotates social akwardness which may be caused by inmaturity, or by lack of social contact.
I can't fucking motivate myself. I can't finish anything I start or see things through. I always feel down and starts to feel like I'm not good enough and never will be. I spend all day procrastinating and telling myself tomorrow. I just can't get out of this funk.
>>17355146
This is my reply:
>>17355157
>>17355158
I once heard that if something takes 10 minutes to do, you should do it immediately.
Do the small things and build on it.
Put some music on
Clean up, cook.
Doing anything makes you feel productive and that only grows
I recently left a relationship of many years because the person cheated on me. A little while after I was talking to this person online who was really cool and we had so much in common; we kind of clicked. Today I found out they had little interest in dating, despite telling me many times how cute I am, how I'm everything they want in a partner, but they said they're moving to Wisconsin. I feel like I was lead on. When I told them I wish they were up front with me, they told me they never implied that they wanted to be anything more than friends, which is bullshit. We were meeting up next Friday but now I guess it's not happening because they blocked me on all social media. I'm so hurt, lonely, and depressed, especially after I just got out of a long-term relationship in which I'm still hurt over. All my friends are in college, moved away, or have their own lives. I have literally nobody to go two except my 65-year-old coworker who I sort of became friends with at my shitty retail job. I have nobody. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do. I'm in tears writing this.
>>17355158
I felt the same.
Although everyone thinks im smart, even the people I barely know, even if I had good grades in school, I've been stuck on the first year of my career for 4 years because I couldn't sit even 5 minutes a day to study, I've told myself to start going to the gym for 2 years but I never wanted to move my ass to the gym, everytime my friends asked me to have some drinks or some shit, I just made up some excuse.
but last year I've found the way around, I don't really know how to describe it, but it's like forcing your body to do everything.
For example, if I don't want to wash the dishes (I live alone, and I used to have piles of dirty dishes for months), I just stand up and do it, if i don't want to study I grab the books and leave my PC cellphone everything and I just walk to a park or something, I sit there and do it.
It sounds silly, but it works.
I just don't give a fuck if I want to do it or I don't it's like my body just does it.
>>17355154
the point of language is to express your ideas in a communicable format
sigh represents something different to you as it does to me, and i explained why i use it
using language to understand language isn't a novel idea
your confusion seems half-hearted though
i think you just don't like how sigh sounds
which is alright, but indicative of problems in itself
although i'm sure you're willing to argue otherwise
>>17355157
words have different meanings to different people
i'm comfortable using a word that may be interpreted differently than how i view it because i can explain myself as to why--
you don't have to adopt my usage, but not giving slack for the boundary of perception is a quick way to close good conversation
>>17355188
>sigh represents something different to you as it does to me
Yes, therefore you failed.
If say "gay" means happy to me and I call myself "gay", who is in the wrong?
I am, of course.
Because my intention isn't being translated.
When you speak, you write for your audience, not yourself.
You already know how you feel. You're trying to make others understand you.
If you feel "sigh", say "I'm so tried of X".
Right now, you sound like a fag.
>>17355167
Shit happens man, just keep trying.
I've cryed a looong time after my first break up, now I've been years with a girlfriend which made me realize what a bitch my last gf was.
after my last break up, I was so mad with everyone that I cheated on my first gf after that because I didn't trusted in anyone; I though love was pure bullshit amd I am really regretfull, years have passed and my gf has proved me that she really loves me and would not cheat on me.
I even have her whatsapp open on my PC and her facebook password without her knowing, and she doesn't even answer to those 10/10 alpha guys with hundreds of likes and shit, she let's me party, encourages me to hang out with my friends and she's not bitchy at all.
I wrote all this just to let you know that there may be something better for you up ahead, if she cheated on you, you should be happy she's not your gf anymore.
I spilt some rum on the counter and my first thought was to lick it up instead of using a rag.
That makes me feel something.
My inability to form relationships with the opposite gender undermines my self-worth despite constantly improving myself.
89.8lb today.
i still feel fat.
its been 9 months since my boyfriend left me.
i've slept with 4 guys since them.
and yet, my feelings for him are still just as strong.
i try so hard to let go, but i've dreamt of him 3/5 days.
it's hell.
i haven't left the house in almost 4 weeks now.
i feel so goddamn lonely, but i hate seeing people.
how ironic.
i wish i could just go back to the hospital.
after going through so much psychological therapy and hospitalization, it's the only place where i feel i belong now.
>>17355218
Why did you break up?
>>17355218
My uncle was anorexic.
He died.
You don't have to be like him. The route you're on now is terminal.
Salvation lies within. Sit down once a day in a beautiful place and empty your mind.
Just for a moment.
I know how you feel. Many others do. We're all alone together. But that doesn't have to be the end.
>>17355195
you are not in the wrong for using a word with ambiguous meanings--
i didn't think people had strong feelings about the use of sigh before i used it here,
so i explained what it meant to me in the next post after my usage of it was first confronted
i translated my intention once i realized it was being lost,
so i don't think i'm in the wrong--
your hesitation to see past different interpretations bars whatever constructive conversation could have followed,
although this could be seen as a learning experience
besides, this is a get it off your chest thread
the audience is irrelevant
i'm speaking for the purpose of myself
you have good logic,
but it doesn't apply to our situation
you're stuck in arguing for the argument's sake
too confused or prideful to back away
>>17355229
>besides, this is a get it off your chest thread
>the audience is irrelevant
You're right.
I'm sorry for attacking your language.
>>17355227
i was too depressed; he hated how i was always sad.
i was too clingy, i was too controlling. i was paranoid that he'd leave me. i was terrified of being abandoned. i restricted his freedom. i ached for attention. i was too much to him.
i knew the way i acted was bad, but i couldn't control these feelings -- i consciously tried but it was too overwhelming.
Went to see the doctor yesterday to look at a rash. Doctor instantly thinks it's herpes and does a poke and swab to test. Had a very similar rash years ago and had it tested and it was nothing plus I am prone to skin irritation, really not expecting this. I'm completely depressed and have a date on Friday which will be about the time I should get my test results. Awaiting the death of my sex life or what little of a sex life I ever had. Happy birthday to me.
>>17355235
Chill dude.
Something like 80% of sexually active adults have herpes.
It's somehow become a taboo but so many people have it.
Think of it as a mark of being a normal adult
>>17355237
It's more like 25% and those are only those that know they have it. I intend on telling anyone I sleep with that I have it if it is confirmed. That should be a deal-breaker for any sane person.
>>17355232
you are more than okay
i'm happy you aren't arguing anymore
although i'm socially overloaded
i'm still scared of conflict
even if online i feel myself anxious to check if my post has had a reply if i've been butting heads
i think that's due to my childhood
although getting any further would make you my audience haha
thank you for apologizing
>>17355233
It's a common thing what you're passing through, you were over attached, I'm myself overattached, I thank god my gf is such an inosent girl, I know she wouldn't cheat on me, but yet, I'm mad when she wants to go out with her friends or even if she has to make study group with males, its horrible, but it's something that has to change, noone would be EVER happy in a relationship with someone over attached.
My own mother went mad for being overattached, she ended up with severe paranoia, even started hallucinating, now she's on a clinic, heavily drugged.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you you'd end like my mother, that's an extreme case, I'm just telling you that over attachment wont take you anywhere.
>>17355249
I forgot to tell, right now it's been 2 days she's writting me and I'm not answering her because she wants to go to some club with her female friends, I don't know why it makes me mad, the same day I'm myself going to that same nightclub with my friends and she'll probably be at my eyesight, I don't know why I'm such a dick, but I know It's wrong.
I broke up with my ex of 5 years about 2 1/2 months ago. It wasn't a clean break; we kept in touch, fooled around maybe a total of 4 ish times (can't remember the exact amount), but it was meant to be rather casual. It became a problem when they, inevitably, held onto the possibility of us getting back together. So when I brought it up to them that I don't want that, we had a falling out where some very ugly things were said on both sides, ended up apologizing to one another, and I told them no more fooling around. I don't want to talk anymore and just want to cut everything off. Well they still contact me regardless. I don't reply with much if anything at all, and I've started talking to someone else I'm really interested in. Me and this person have been friends for about a year now and nothing has ever gone on between us until this past week when they started flirting with me. Even though it's been a few months since I officially ended things, I feel really guilty about wanting to move on. Not sure if I should wait longer out of respect for everyone, or if I should go for it and see where it goes. I'm mainly concerned about how this might affect my new interest. I don't want to hurt them because of ties that are still lingering from my previous relationship, but I really like them and don't want to regret not trying...
>>17350598
I want to fuck the shit out of my 21 year old thicc mexican coworker
>>17355267
Take it from someone who fucked several coworkers at several jobs over the years.....BAD IDEA. You will get fucked up and will be either fired or transfered to somewhere else. Not worth it.
>>17355261
Dude don't let yourself stay, If you've got a chance to start something new, do it.
Don't make her/him wait for you, because if you do, he/she may get tired of waiting, and you'll end alone.
Don't waste your chance.
>>17355270
Never shit where you eat, as they say
>>17355257
i get very jealous when my love gets along well with another guy
it's something inherent that i have not overcome yet, but it displeases me that i seem so possessive
i told her about it and she was understanding
she found it funny, which i found funny too
i cried slightly frustrated and humoured by the ridiculousness of the situation
and we made light of it in a good way
sometimes the people we love can't reassure us, even if they are innocent
it is nothing bad upon anybody, as it's natural to be defensive and protective of those you love from any feelings of romance
you can be honest with yourself and your love if you wish to make the best of an unfortunate situation
>>17355267
>>17355270
I've fucked coworkers too, and never had a problem, maybe a little of akwardness when we see each outher everyday after we ended fucking each other because she got a boyfriend, but that's all.
I think it depends a lot on how things happen.
Cancelled the only avaible date where I could meet my friend this month and I feel bad about it,but it's more of a money problem and just us two hanging out is making him feel uncomfortable,I can feel it. Not that great excuses,but seems like this year I'm going to spend my bday alone unlike last year with my family and friends (and a slut)
And to think I actually believed that I did overcome my depression makes me feel like a fool now. Or is it just stale empathy?
It would be nice if you actually inquired about how I was doing.
I wish I was Christian
I've a different personality with everyone,, I'm a person with a group of friends and another with another group of friends.
If group B would know what I say in group A, they wouldn't belive it, that's just not me.
I have different opinions for diferent people, the only person in the world which with I feel comfortable being myself, is with my gf.
I have dozens of friends, and I hate them all.
One group of friends thinks I was in bed with 3 girls in my entire life, the other thinks I was with 6, one thinks I cheated on my gf, the other doesn't, I also lost trust in anyone but my girlfriend.
>>17355218
lmao kys
I don't have friends because I deliberately avoided everyone that I got along easily with because I hate every part of me, and any part of me I see in anyone else, I hate too.
>>17355320
>any part of me I see in anyone else
That's what people hate most.
Every person.
That's normal.
The weaknesses we know in ourselves and see in others are the weaknesses we hate most.
But you are not only made of weaknesses.
You have good parts too.
People who get along with you see the good parts.
Don't push them away.
Never forget that we are a mix of both good and bad.
Focusing on the bad is sinful.
>>17355316
im considering it.
Goddamnit Yuki please respond alreday or do I actually have to get a new mail adress and act like I am interested in your hamsters just to get you to answer me why the fuck you wanted to speak to me through my buddy? I'm gonna do this after this last mail. And it's been almost a year and I'm still worried goddamn
>>17355349
omg I didn't know it was YOU !
>>17355235
Shouldn't have fucked around with people of poor moral character.
>>17355237
>this is what degenerates actually believe
>>17355355
>probably has herpa derpes
>>17355353
Not sure if you're trying to be sarcastic or to be her but there's no way in hell she would not know it was me since I haven't changed my mail adress ever since we met. Also she shouldn't be awake at this hour but I don't know shit anymore ever since we talked last with each other which was over a year ago. Or if she even knows this website but who knows.
>>17350598
Of all the first girlfriends or boyfriends anyone could have, I can't believe you were mine. You fucking selfish borderline bitch. I gave it all thinking everyone overeacts when they say ''Don't give too much'' and now, see me here. Fuck, you fucked my mind so horribly. Manipulated me and made me cry without giving a single fucking shit. Was I paying the fucking broken dishes of someone else??? FUCKK FUCK FUCK FUCK Why the fuck. My brain now is fucked up. Fuck. I have this stress from when you and me used to fight because you just made me think that I was worthless and that you were a queen. WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. It's been a whole fucking year and a half, I'm seeing a fucking therapist so I can put my mind to rest from this perpetual stress I have and you, my first love, is probably out there just fucking everyone and whatever. Probably forgot me by now while I suffer every fucking day WHY YOU SHIT WHY ME FUCK YOU FUCK ME FUCKKKKKKKKKKABHSPPPPPdop
I'm a porn actor who has never had sex outside of work.
I gotta spill these beans.
I'm really frustrated. I just graduated hs a month ago, there was this new girl at my school who was a grade below. I'm not experienced at all, but I sorta approached her randomly because I'd see her everyday on my way to my car. I was confident enough since she was a little quiet and awkward, and my social circle was more of the popular kids. I got her number, she seemed really interested the first few weeks but slowly eased out of it, and I have no idea why. Whenever I'd invite her out w/ my friends she'd be all into the idea then flake out. I remember she told me she's going through some family shit. I was really friendly, didn't send any butthurt or thirsty messages, maybe she just has social anxiety? idfk
They say that if you want to get somewhere, you gotta try and get rejected a bunch of times. Well if this is what getting rejected feels like, then what's the point? Why shouldn't I just live the way I am now and suppress my sex drive by smoking weed all day? I never even got a direct answer, I'm sick of having to analyze all these passive hints, it makes me fucking sick. I'll be honest, I have awful social anxiety, but over the years I've learned to hide it. I really hate having all these shitty feelings. I just want to become asexual and kill any sense of infatuation or affection. I remember when I wasn't even into girls when I was little and that's when I was the happiest kid alive.
Sorry if I went a little Elliot Rodger there, I know it's a fucked up way of thinking but I really can't help the way I feel. I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at myself. She was attracted to me and I fucked it all up because she didn't like who I was, and that's what feels the most shitty.
I grew up without my dad. Big fucking deal, but for me it was a big fucking deal. He had two other kids with some woman other than my Mom and I grew up resenting you guys. Cause I thought you were bad people. But you weren't bad people, you were decent people who like the same stuff I liked, so I was surprised when I literally just bumped into you in fucking retail and you connected the dots based on my name.
So I felt guilty, that all those years I hated people who I assumed were shitty. I lost my composure and I cried, and I admitted it. I spent the rest of the day just out of control because years of emotion just fucking shot out of me. Yeah, looking back I acted a bit melodramatic. But fuck.
I always feared back then you guys would reject me. That was my worst fear. Even though I hated you back then, I always wanted to meet you anyway. So that I could be proud of myself, that I wasn't like you fucks. But you were good, and you didn't reject me at first. But when I poured my heart out to you, what do you do?
You don't tell me to fuck off, you don't tell me you hate me. You pretended to care, and then I never heard from you again. No calls, no texts. I tried to reach out on Holidays but I could hear the annoyance on the other end. You did something worse than reject me. At least then I'd have closure. It would be over and by now I'd feel better. You just ignored me, pretend I don't exist. Spit on my efforts to reach out and just turn away. Fuck you guys. I was always bitter and angry for no reason, I grew up with a chip on my shoulder for no fucking reason and the one time I tried i get shat on. And I can't forget or let it go nearly 2 years later. I'm still fucking angry, and sad. And I still haven't heard a damn thing from you guys. Fuck you.
My medications were helping me after six months of being on them. But then my doctor wouldn't refill them several times. I've had to stop taking them now because between the doctor's office and the pharmacy they never were refilled. Thinking about it makes me so frustrated.
I have multiple FWBs.
And i'm a female.
What can i say, i love sex. Sorry, not sorry.
I zero fucking self confidence in myself. Been playing music for over 10 and still feel shit at it. It's like if I'm the one doing it, it will always sound like shit. Trying to draw is no good either. Been striving to be an artist even longer than a musician. But anything I ever create appears to be absolute garbage. It's not even that I get alot of negative criticism, I just fucking hate myself. Fuck, I should go to bed.
I had a best friend for 15 years.
We didn't have true brothers, but we had each others.
We were brothers without blood.
But he got married and swept up into her bullshit.
I don't want to talk too much crap about her. She's an OK person. She's got a laundry list of mental illnesses but it wasn't like she was point a gun to his head.
I loved him like a brother.
Now where are we?
It's been 3 weeks since we last spoke. We used to talk every day.
I hate that I feel this jealousy. I hate that I feel like he should have said something.
He was my brother and now what are we?
>>17355371
You never forget someone you tried to love, even when you don't try that hard, or never manage to succeed at it.
>>17350598
deep down im mentally emotionally and psychologically lost. ive come to a point in my life were I wake up and its nothing but stress and possible slow life that just hurts worse and worse every day im gonna lose my family, my dog, and im gonna be on my own. im fucking terrified. I never wanted this. I want everyone to just be happy and show love and work things out. I don't fucking understand why everything has to be shat on and I have to be slammed with all this fucked up bullshit. I just wanna have peace again. peace love and happiness. why cant I just feel this for one full day and just an hero at the end? I just want one good day cause I cant go on living in a world where im constantly anxious, stressed, depressed, paranoid, and scared. all that helps is drowning myself in alcohol. but that don't help much cause waking up with a hang over with all those feelings makes me really want to fucking kill myself. im over this drama and my life being screwed with I just wanna chill be happy and let everyone else be happy. fucking over it
>>17355540
Peace is within you
Find a tree on a sun lit day.
And sit under it.
Empty your mind.
For five minutes just sit there empty.
You have a lot of problems. And that's OK. You are not bad for having problems. You are not weak or deficient.
Understand this. It isn't your fault.
Find a place where you can feel settled. And let your problems flow over yourself. Fear is the mindkiller.
Let your fear pass into you and through you and once it has passed, all you have left is who you are.
It's ok to emotional and feel worried and afraid about the future.
But sit down and close your eyes and let it go.
Then focus on how to change it.
Weather you decide to realize the reason you feel that way is intentional and do something to stop it for the future or you can believe there something wrong with you and go ahead and stop being a burden on everyone else.
>>17352948
Have you ever actually talked to her about this properly? My boyfriend and I went through a rough patch last year. He said I was cold and unaffectionate when we had a proper talk I confided that I was worried his ex gf who always msg him would end our relationship so I slowly started to detach myself to minimise the harm if it happened. After we spoke about it and he realised my true feelings we made some changes and everything has been perfect. Women run on emotions if something is bothering us we usually keep it in and in turn become distant.
I can't get laid no matter how hard I try. I'm starved for intimacy and it makes me want to fucking die
