How long have you guys been together? How's the communication in the relationship?

>>17348657
6 years. I don't know to be honest. We tell each other everything but idk. Sometimes I feel like he listens because he has to. I'll say, 'remember this'll and he doesn't. Then he tells me I am wrong and never said that.

Trust is there but I feel look like he doesn't care to listen and at times I'm to stubborn to hear different. But I always try to make the effort. If that makes sense

>>17348665
I really don't want to fuck anything up but it's like we are just here.. together. Some nights a fingerbang without a kiss. But we both love each other and don't want to end the relationship

Yeah I totally get it I had a relationship like that not too long ago we moved in quick and the longer it went on the more conscious effort I had to put in to keep from drifting apart towards the end we felt more like roommates who occasionally fucked more than anything

>>17348683
That's how I feel now. But neither of us want to end it. But I'm tired of feeling alone.

If I wanted to feel alone, I'd be alone.

>>17348683
We don't fight a lot but it's because both be of us would rather bury it than fight. We got in a fight last night over I don't even know. I just know he got pissy because I I'd not agree with his view then he went outside. I left him alone because I don't like being messed with when things like this happen.

So I let him smoke. When I take my turn alone outside he follows me continuing. Idk i just feel like I'm fucking up

Sex can become a little routine after a few years. You know all your partners moves you can probably tell when he's about to finish just by the position your in huh lol it takes a lot of effort to keep that flam lit luckily me an the ex at least had good communication so we were able to talk about that when it came and what we could do to fix it. Have you tried mixing things up. Asking your partner with an open mind what he's into can help.

>>17348705
He's vanilla. I have a lot of things I want to do and tried to hint at it but be he's not about it. Even outright said, 'ill do this'll but we, be that's gross. You're gross.it is stale, I know his moves but I am not hard to please. Seriously, I don't even have to finish. I just want enthusiasim. Like fuck yeah, sex. Cause that's how I feel until I get the ol' one two slip of the hand

>>17348701
Burying things only creates passive aggressive tendencies in other parts of your relationship. It's important to talk things thru or they spill over other areas

>>17348716
Sorry.

But he says it's gross or weird

>>17348718
I know. Because there is a lot that comes out when we fight and the rest of the time is 'okay, yes'. I know I pin things up. But when I try to talk to him and tell him how I feel it always turns into an argument. Like he is always right

>>17348730
So it's easier to just agree and keep going. The little things are trivial, you know?

>>17348716
some people aren't compatible sexually. It sure helps but it's a good thing sex isn't everything. As for just not wanting to be alone, all i can say is people sometimes choose the pain they inflict on each other rather than the pain they would other wise inflict on themselves. Me I'm not afraid to be alone anymore. I've found two half trying to make a whole doesn't work out. Any way you look at it one is taking from the other. Otherwise It starts to lean torwards codependency and can make relationships unhealthy

Sometimes I think, what if I am just paranoid? What if he is into it just that's how he is in to it. Idk last time I felt he was into it was about a year ago. We will do oral and shit but it's because we don't have a set birth control

>>17348743
I feel like unhealthy codependency is where I am at. But I don't mind that. I just want him to want me like I want him, you know? We will start but it gets to the point were I'm like shit when is this going to end

Yeah I hear you pick your battles for sure some things just aren't worth the effort or emotion. However creating habits like that is what make it hard to talk about more serious issues like your sex life. Which is okay to be important to you..

>>17348751
Guys have a fragile ego most times especially when it comes to sex so I'm not suggesting to treat it like a problem but being able to communicate with your partner is crucial in a happy relationship.

>>17348753
Fuck I know but I'm too much of a little bitch to argue.

When I try to talk we start to quarrel. Then I get butt flustered and can't remember what I was talking about. Only he's crying and I'm crying and I just want to be left alone.

Here's an alternate theory. Guys tend to get really exhausted after orgasm in a way that women usually don't. If you make him orgasm first, he's more likely to be exhausted.

However, if he never gets you off, that's a big problem. And if he won't communicate or try to fix it even when asked, that's a much bigger problem.

>>17348758
I know. I don't want to hurt him. "Touch me here' and 'too much pressure's are things I've been worried hurt his feelings but I was thought I was doing good

>>17348762
That's it though key word is communicate not argue

>>17348770
What about wording that different instead of saying touch me here be like I love it when you do this.

>>17348764
Yeah, I know. I try to stretch it out as long as I can. I can tell when he's about to come so I stop so he can regroup. But I get to the point were I'm just done so I finish him off. I don't know how to say, 'you're not making me come so you need to do better'. If he said that to me, I'd be so hurt. But when he's done, he rolls over and we are done. Sometimes he will keep going but it's mechanically. Like he's trying to push my insides back inside me.

To be honest, I just want tonight to end so I can try again tomorrow

>>17348773
I have. It's the same thing. I'll tell him, 'I love when you pull my hair' or 'I love when your hands are on my waist'. He'll do it for a minute but it's really not enthusiastic. Then it's back to being mechanical. I'm going to use more positive reinforcement though. I hope it helps.

>>17348770
As for too much pressure that's not to bad I assume we're talking about the clit here. Every girl is different and unless you communicate your never gonna be in sync. Furthermore that shit gets engorged with stimulation some times you like it hard and sometimes slow it's the same with the tip of the penis. I don't always like quick movements or to be jerked around sometimes slow and deep is the way to play yall would do better in relaying that information vocally. It can even be sexy I love hearing a girl talk in sex. And I'll do the same in return to direct each other to great orgasams. Faster slower softer harder are all great words to get you were you need to go... after you work on that then it'll be easier to tell your vanilla more of what your into in bed

>>17348791
He says talking dirty is a turn off. Look, I appreciate everyone's help and I will try to talk to him again.

But right now, I just wanna end today and hope tomorrow is better. Thank you for the advice. I'll check back tomorrow if the thread isn't dead. Maybe later if it hasn't 404'd I'll check again. i just know right now my heart hurts

Tbh tho some people just aren't compatible sexually. Just as some personalites don't mesh niether do sexualities. Not to say it can't be worked on but again it requires an open line of communication and the desire to fix it. No one's happy with a selfish lover. I mean not Cummings hear or there I can see. Even guys have times I didn't get to cum or couldn't because the girl wasn't in sync it's a shitty feeling every time would be a problem

>>17348800
Np... IdK if you do kik or snap but you could hit me up another time if you wanted

Jp2327 to both of mine anyways later and goodnight

>>17348810
It's cool. Realized I can't pull myself away. I think I'm a sucker for masochism..

Thanks for your help

>>17348822
Haha all good, nothing wrong with that..

>>17348830
I guess. I feel like I know what the real problem is, I just don't want to face it

>>17348853
Shit I mean it happens. You'll be aight tho...

>>17348856
I know I will.

I don't feel like I got the answer I wanted but thank you. Makes me feel a little better