Was in a 5 month whirlwind of a relationship with someone who exhibits many characteristics of BPD. She spent the relationship emotionally manipulating me but she ended up falling for me anyway. She liked me so much she kept warning me and telling me I "deserve better" and that she was "a horrible person". After a few weeks of back and forth a I left for good. Blocked her everywhere and send her all the shit that reminds me of her. I fucking miss her, but I know this is what's best. I've heard that's many BPD's try to reestablish contact down the line. What do I do if that happens? Have any of you dealt with BPD ppl? Any suggestions on how I maintain NC and not cave when she inevitably comes around
If she tries to contact you then you just keep ignoring her. It feels really fucking bad to do that, but if you don't then she'll keep doing that shit to you. Sometimes you have to think about yourself.
I have BPD parents and have read many books; the most common being
>their children say they want their parents dead but feeling guilty
And
>a lack of being able to completely cut contact because of guilt
The key in all BPD cases are guilt. It's used like a knife. You did the right thing. Saying "you deserve better" and stuff is just crocodile tears to lure you in.
I once dated a BPD girl as well, for about 7 months. She cheated on me after pushing/scratching/punching me in the face, then contacted my ex girlfriends for a pity party after I blocked off all contact.
I think it's been about five or six years and she's never tried to make any contact again. She will though.
Borderline people deal with a constant fear of being left or forgotten, which turns them insecure, crazy and uncontrollable people.
They are not people who know love, only a need to hold onto people like emotional leeches. It is sad, but that is like most extreme psychological disorders.
Does she know where you live? Your phone number? How many other forms of contact?
>>17346579
No contact man.
It never works out.
I tried to heal a girl, I could stand everything, suffer with her trough everything and she would always try to cross the line.
She was dependent to me, literally like a kid, and I thought that I love her and only I can truly understand her. I'm her best friend.
Finally I've discovered she's been keking me just before the wedding.
Don't be a nurse OP, she has right in one thing, you really deserve better. I had over 9000 red flags but I was telling myself that we will make it. Unfortunately, it can be only worse with this kind of people. Don't let your life get ruined because you try to nurse someone.
>>17346579
so you reinforced her feelings of abandonment. If you were so into her, just date her and stop breaking her heart, otherwise just fuck off
>>17346923
Dude I tried, she says she doesn't like that she feels so much for me. She even initiated the space thing but i called her bluff. We tried to be friends but it worked for two days then she went apeshit over some girls comment on my Instagram.
>>17346708
She knows my phone number, I temporary deleted my Instagram and I blocked her on whatsapp. She doesn't have my address but she does have my email
>>17346860
Did she cheat on you?? That's terrible man. This one has a lot of guys that are always on her ass and I never really cared because I'm not insecure but now it seems she was probably leading them on
>>17346669
She made me feel like I was very different she would always tell me she never felt like this with anyone. That I was special and that she wouldn't forget me. Was that all bullshit? Is it just her wanting me to keep a glimmer of hope?
>>17347355
Sounds like she loves you, I know how scary that feels, real love. Awful, I fell in love with a man who did this to me. Perhaps I have bpd..
>>17346645
Your advice is terrible. Don't bother
>>17347369
It's just hard to deal with. Sometimes she'll be intimate and other times she'll be so cold. I kept reassuring her that I wouldn't leave and that she just needed patience and therapy but she got so hostile and angry at the fact that she felt things for me. It's hard to believe what she says because it's so hot and cold but I know deep down she appreciates that I care and that I tried so hard. It's been hard but this is what she wanted and it's better for me this way. I won't be so hurt.
>>17347396
You are being hot and cold by going no contact. It hurts. Love her hard and get paid a thousandfold
>>17347477
She leaves him no other choice than no contact.
>>17346579
Ok so does this sound like BPD
>she constantly belittles herself
>I compliment her and try to cheer her up
>she refuses to get better and any little thing will cause her to want to cut herself.
>try to give advice
>just wants me to listen
>basically uses me to sext
>turns out she does this with other guys
>comes crying to me when her nudes get leaked online
>constantly complains without fixing her own problems
>basically using me just to vent all of her feelings to
>lashes out on me for trying to help her
>>17347511
>>17347511
lol also sounds like a young 20 something
>>17347477
Listen I tried my best but she wants space and time to "work on herself" am I supposed to wait for her to make a decision?? I'm not going to do that to myself. I told her we could take it slow and work on it and she did her best to blow it to shit. I understand what you're saying but she gave me no choice
>>17347511
Yeah I would say you need to step back and ask her what's going on or just NC
>>17347493
Exactly!!
>>17347867
She sounds like she lacks any kind of structure to even begin working on herself, desu.
Just go NC, if you've already blocked her from contacting you, I'd suggest moving on yourself. It's easy to miss someone you've gotten to know, but it's easy to replace someone who's a shitter.
>>17347867
Can't she work on herself, with you?
She needs someone to keep on top of her, or she'll fall apart again
>>17348341
She says she thinks it's better because she doesn't want to keep hurting me. A lot of people are saying she's full of shit but I'm unsure, she has hurt me and she says she can't keep dealing with that as she can't control her mood swings.
>>17347885
Thanks m8, she doesn't have the structure but I stressed the fact that she needed to see a therapist. I kept reminding her of how volatile her relationships with people are how much it has hurt her. So I hope it gives her the impetus to seek help
>>17348341
Bpds need space if they start feeling something for a person
