Has anyone here ever successfully transformed himself?
I know this is vague, but you know what I mean. I've been a loser since forever, and I have this "big transformation" planned for almost a decade now, but I never got around to it.
Now that I live alone I'm starting to actually work on it, probably because now I can read in peace, I cook my own food so I have control over my diet, I have a lot of space for exercise, etc.
But I don't want to become just a better-looking or smarter version of me, I really want to change. I'm starting some projects designed to help me with it: forcing myself to socialize with people that are different, fixing my insecurities, looking to improve myself in areas where I'm been weak (for example: I've always been a horrible speaker, so now I'm looking into speech therapy and also doing a few things like improving my vocabulary, reading a bit on rhetoric, trying to talk to more people irl instead of online, etc)
Has anyone ever been through a similar period of "planned change", or intends to? What did you do/plan to do?
>>17346290
Aye, I'm working on it now. Two years ago I was a mess.
Right now I'm working on correcting my posture and practicing my conversation skills. I also practice my body language in the mirror. I probably seem aspie as fuck irl.
Godspeed, brother.
>>17346290
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Where I was a "20" and I wanted in my life was a "100" but what I found out was that I kept changing and adding stuff I did not see a progress I wanted to see aka being fit. I had opportunities to grow somewhere else and I felt like a 20 for a long time. But what happened was I did grow, just not in being fit, there's never going to be a "right time" there's just going to be a hard time and a less harder time. I felt 20 and still do, but I have loads more confidence, loads more insight and I'm well established. I'm probably a 79 but I feel like a 20, and that's okay. The only thing is my weight. My social skills are pretty good. They were never before I could barely hold a sentence with a good friend. But now I can talk to anyone. My comfort level feels like a 20 but is a 79. As you get better at things you feel uncomfortable then they become comfortable and yeah. It's going to be hard and the big transformation isn't probably going to happen, it's a slow progression because the willpower you have is low. If you had high will
Power then yeah
>>17346300
>Right now I'm working on correcting my posture and practicing my conversation skills. I also practice my body language in the mirror.
Practicing in the mirror is a good one.
There was this one time I had to do a presentation for college and I recorded myself doing it in my room the day before, because I want to work on body language and speech.
When I watched the video I wanted to fucking cry
>>17346290
>transformation
>planned
You can plan all you want, just keep in mind that the change itself happens when you go past a point where you haven't been before and face your fears.
A terrible speaker may train for years, but will stop seeing himself as such only, for example, during or after delivering a good presentation.
Just don't expect the change. Don't look at yourself after every big event, asking "have I made it yet?". Most likely at some point you will forget about your desire to change. You will see yourself differently, but you won't be aware of the change. And it's okay, because it won't matter then, yes?
>>17346290
Yes, I have.
Bullied at school, no friends (except 1, who I lost contact with years ago), fat (or skinny fat, depending on who you ask, but looked shit anyhow) etc....
No job, restarted college 2 times etc....
Then one day I changed it all.
Ask me anything.
>>17346443
... what did you do and how long did it take?
>>17346466
I'm still working things out to this day, but the time it took until I felt that things were actually picking up was about a year or 2.
Started really, really small. Basically I just started doing pushups, I literally could only do like 5 at first.
And it wasn't because I wanted to get fit or anything, I just wanted to do something, anything.
I also went back to college and made an effort to finish it, I didn't really care about grades, just went back to make friends. This was probably the hardest part, I found people to talk to almost straight away, but my feeling were up and down for a few months until I actually felt like I had people.
Small steps man, that's all you can do, and I won't lie, it's not easy.
I then went on to start doing a martial art and meditation, started going to meditation sessions at a local temple as well.
Looking back it actually all changed pretty quickly, between 1 and 2 years I was going pretty good, if you consider the 10+ years of being a waste of space before that to contend with it's not very long at all.
>>17346496
Oh, I should mentioned I failed, failed A LOT.
I would drop weight, then gain it back.
I would try my luck with girls, and fuck up.
I would try make friends and fuck that up too.
Almost fucked up some of my college units as well, but I forced myself to pass because I knew I wouldn't get another chance (if I failed again, they woulda kicked me out permanently).
I fucked up man, I fucked up a lot.
And I'm still fucking up even now, lost my job, but you know what? I'm pretty happy cause I know that's not the end of it, I can just find another job.
I guess the lesson here is failure isn't the end of anything, in fact nobody cares about it except you. After you have a good cry, or spend a month healing from an injury or get angry at some stupid girl or whatever, you just get going again.
>>17346290
Went from NEET to successful college student, with a job and disposable income, that fucks popular /b/ camwhores that are nearly a decade younger.
Decide you will change, and fucking do it. Living this change makes a huge difference.
>>17346443
post pic of body faggot
This is now a motivational thread
>>17346551
>This is now a motivational thread
Here, have a quote:
>2. Refusal of the Call.
>Often in actual life, and not infrequently in the myths and popular tales, we encounter the dull case of the call unanswered; for it is always possible to turn the ear to other interests. Refusal of the summons converts the adventure into its negative. Walled in boredom, hard work, or "culture", the subject loses the power of significant affirmative action and becomes a victim to be saved. His flowering world becomes a wasteland of dry stones and his life feels meaningless - even though, like king Minos, he may through titanic effort succeed in building an empire of renown. Whatever house he builds, it will be a house of death: a labirynth of cyclopean walls to hide from him his Minotaur. All he can do is create new problems for himself and await the gradual approach of his disintegration.
tl;dr - Don't run from your life.
>>17346697
>your life
meaning?
Your talant? Passion? Something that someone already set up for you? Something that you did a lot and now are very good at?
>>17346290
I did. In my younger years, I was the fucking cringelord. I didn't understand the problems with some of the things I did, but this was more about negligence than a lack of knowhow. Realizing what I'd done was traumatic, but it set me on the path.
You don't actually want to know the details of how I did it. I got everything wrong, and this messed me up but good: differently, yes, but messed up all the same. Better on balance, but still not where I needed to be. So I did it again, and messed up in different ways. Each iteration brings me ckoser on balance, solving real problems but creating new ones which then require yet another iteration to fix. I think I'm on iteration 5 or 6 at the moment. The lines between them get blurry over time.
No, the real advice to take from my case is this: don't worry about screwing up. Even if you do, you can still move forward. The failures you commit in this iteration can be resolved in the next. In some ways, the ride never ends anyway: there will always be opportunities for improvement.
>>17346290
>>17346721
>meaning?
I don't know what is it for you. Or what it's gonna be in the future. Hell, it doesn't even have to be just one thing.
I know that for me it's dealing with loneliness or not knowing how to be intimate. It's a mountain casting a shadow over my life since childhood, but I became aware of it recently. At some point I have to move out again to a big city and interact with people despite fears or I will end up with a wasteland of dry stones as described.
It's also the broken motorbike standing in my garage, waiting until I break the fear from my last crash and ride it again.
This... law of nature is ever unchanged. Face your fears and transform, grow, thrive. Or refuse the call and wither away. All we have to do is to choose. This is what gives me motivation.
>>17346769
