I haven't been in a relationship before this one. I have no past experience. The GF and I are 22 and have been together for 9 months. I need an external opinion of my relationship, and if its something I should get more invested in or back away from.
I'm introverted, and I have trouble trusting women. I'm relatively in shape with 160 pounds at 5'11". She is bigger with 230 pounds at 5'7", she looks good considering her weight.
I have actually been living with her and her parents over the summer (they insisted) because I would've lost my job and had to moved back in with my mom in another state. I live on campus in an apartment during the semester. Her family is super nice to me.
We don't argue that much, and we keep the drama to a minimal. Worst argument we had was over after a 10 minute cool down period. In general she treats me well. A lot of the time she will have lunch packed for me and she likes to cook. I feel we are really stable as a couple. Her friends like me, her family likes me, and she doesn't seem like the impulsive type to just leave.
The downside is that she has no libido. We haven't had penetrative sex yet and its rare for her to get horny. I believe this is what is giving me doubts.
Aside from her weight and libido I wouldn't change a thing about her. A lot of girl's personalities turn me off, but she doesn't. I have tried to talk to her, but I haven't really got anywhere as for the libido. She has shown me that she wants to start dieting, but her weight isn't as big of a deal to me as not having sex.
Do I cut and run or do I keep trying to work through it with her?
>9 months
>no sex
Most men would have bailed long ago.
>>17346079
>>9 months
>>no sex
>Most men would have bailed long ago.
Most men aren't looking for a relationship though.
>>17346088
False. Where did that idiotic quip come from?
>>17346072
>Aside from her weight and libido I wouldn't change a thing about her.
Well, aren't we a shallow cunt here OP? Why did you become her boyfriend if you wanted to change things rather than arrange yourself with them?!
>The downside is that she has no libido.
No she doesn't.
>She has shown me that she wants to start dieting
She's only embarrassed about her body so she's denying sex completely rather than showing her vulnerable spot to a shallow cunt like you.
>Do I cut and run
I hope you do, only for her sake you midget.
You think the world is full of cool comparison people with pretty cool friends and family? Well then get the fuck outta there. Why bother her and waste her time? She'll be perfectly fine and will want to have sex with someone other than you, someone who thinks her body is banging hot.
>>17346114
>cool comparison people
*cool compatible people
>>17346072
Since you're living together for a few months, why don't you try to diet and work out together?
I was her weight (230 and 5'6") and losing 80 lbs turned me crazy horny.
I felt sexy in my body, I wanted my boyfriend to notice how fucking hot I was, I even had better orgasms.
One other thing that really helped my boyfriend was learning how to get me horny. I don't need to get off every day, but I definitely am down for it if he does certain things (flirting, teasing, complimenting, cuddling me, making out, etc).
>>17346114
>>>17346072 (OP) (You)
>>Aside from her weight and libido I wouldn't change a thing about her.
>Well, aren't we a shallow cunt here OP? Why did you become her boyfriend if you wanted to change things rather than arrange yourself with them?!
>>The downside is that she has no libido.
>No she doesn't.
>>She has shown me that she wants to start dieting
>She's only embarrassed about her body so she's denying sex completely rather than showing her vulnerable spot to a shallow cunt like you.
>>Do I cut and run
>I hope you do, only for her sake you midget.
>You think the world is full of cool comparison people with pretty cool friends and family? Well then get the fuck outta there. Why bother her and waste her time? She'll be perfectly fine and will want to have sex with someone other than you, someone who thinks her body is banging hot.
I didn't know about the libido before I dated her. She was making all the moves at the beginning.
I don't understand why you are being so aggressive. All you have done is attacked me without helping me with my situation.
>>17346124
>>>17346072 (OP) (You)
>Since you're living together for a few months, why don't you try to diet and work out together?
>I was her weight (230 and 5'6") and losing 80 lbs turned me crazy horny.
>I felt sexy in my body, I wanted my boyfriend to notice how fucking hot I was, I even had better orgasms.
>One other thing that really helped my boyfriend was learning how to get me horny. I don't need to get off every day, but I definitely am down for it if he does certain things (flirting, teasing, complimenting, cuddling me, making out, etc).
I have offered to take her to the gym with me, but she doesn't want to go. She's afraid she will look stupid. And we will both be dieting when the semester starts back (that's the plan at least).
So what should I do? I have tried to make it really clear that I am attracted to her, but she just shoots me down.
>>17346135
Start dieting now. Go walking together, an hour every evening. Then start running a bit, or doing something like swimming if she feels comfortable enough.
> I have tried to make it really clear that I am attracted to her, but she just shoots me down.
Be more subtle and constant. I love the built up.
Use any chance you have to make her feel sexy and wanted. Flirt constantly. Send her cute/sexy messages when you're at work. Start making out/teasing her and then leave for work. Compliment her a lot.
One thing that drove me insane is feeling my bf's boner against me while we're spooning. Simple things like that work amazingly.
>>17346135
You don't have to go the gym to lose weight and get fit, honestly most women would see someone asking them to go to the gym as fucking rude. Try going for lots of walks, swimming, generally going outside, bike rides, hikes, etc. Not only are these great for burning calories, but if you fill your day with 'spontaneous adventures' then you'll generally keep her away from food longer and help her forget about it, she'll lose weight and you'll have bonding time together in places where- unlike a gym environment- she wouldn't be constantly obsessing about her weight or worrying about her looks and she'll end up a lot healthier and happier.
Also try setting goals for yourself, if you become motivated to work out or want to achieve some kind of pb in a race and regularly ask her for help/support then she should become motivated to get fit too. But again, avoid gym/stereotypical workout environments.
Plus losing weight would probably raise her libido.
>>17346072
You might be the issue OP. You clearly have a big problem with her weight, which is likely effecting both of your sex drives. You aren't going to get her in the mood by counting her chins out loud and questioning her libido constantly. Your negative attitude to her super-size-me figure is a real quick way to dry up her juicebox. You should be thankful if she's putting out at all.
> she looks good considering her weight.
So stop worrying about it then. It doesn't matter if you think she'd look better thinner, you just have to take her as she is. You can't make her lose weight and she won't keep it off if she isn't doing it for herself.
Try supporting her as she is now, if you want a good relationship AND some pussy. However, ff you can't get over her mass then leave her ass.
tl:dr, You're contributing to her self-esteem issues and wondering why she won't put out. You must accept her oversized derrière before you can plow it.
>>17346131
>I didn't know about the libido before I dated her.
Because she didn't have any issues before. And you very well knew she was fat before dating her.
>I don't understand why you are being so aggressive. All you have done is attacked me without helping me with my situation.
I'm not being aggressive you dumb dipshit, I'm telling you the truth. All you do is not taking my advice as it doesn't go to your taste. You're an ignorant selfish fucker wondering why your relationship is shit. I give you the answer, it's because you're a shallow cunt and you complain I am not helping.
You do realise that she could have been perfectly happy with someone else right here and now, instead you're fueling her self-esteem issues because you are not satisfied about her looks.
Look, shitface I'm not even complaining about your preferences, I'd not date fat too. I'm complaining about your shitface accepting her as a girlfriend and wanting to change her to your own tastes. That's not how it works mate. Either you like her as she is or you don't get together in the first place.
There are plenty of nice fat worshipping guys out there and she doesn't need you to make her feel like shit about herself, when she could feel loved and appreciated for what she is.
>>17346178
>>>17346072 (OP) (You)
>You might be the issue OP. You clearly have a big problem with her weight, which is likely effecting both of your sex drives. You aren't going to get her in the mood by counting her chins out loud and questioning her libido constantly. Your negative attitude to her super-size-me figure is a real quick way to dry up her juicebox. You should be thankful if she's putting out at all.
>> she looks good considering her weight.
>So stop worrying about it then. It doesn't matter if you think she'd look better thinner, you just have to take her as she is. You can't make her lose weight and she won't keep it off if she isn't doing it for herself.
>Try supporting her as she is now, if you want a good relationship AND some pussy. However, ff you can't get over her mass then leave her ass.
>tl:dr, You're contributing to her self-esteem issues and wondering why she won't put out. You must accept her oversized derrière before you can plow it.
If anything I'm helping her with her self esteem. Like I have said before I think she looks good. I compliment her all the time. I haven't been pushing her at all to lose weight, I have just offered to take her with me to the gym if she wants.
The weight isn't even the problem, I can deal with it. Its the low libido. I've done everything I can to turn her on and it just doesnt work.
>>17346191
>>>17346131 (You)
>>I didn't know about the libido before I dated her.
>Because she didn't have any issues before. And you very well knew she was fat before dating her.
>>I don't understand why you are being so aggressive. All you have done is attacked me without helping me with my situation.
>I'm not being aggressive you dumb dipshit, I'm telling you the truth. All you do is not taking my advice as it doesn't go to your taste. You're an ignorant selfish fucker wondering why your relationship is shit. I give you the answer, it's because you're a shallow cunt and you complain I am not helping.
>You do realise that she could have been perfectly happy with someone else right here and now, instead you're fueling her self-esteem issues because you are not satisfied about her looks.
>Look, shitface I'm not even complaining about your preferences, I'd not date fat too. I'm complaining about your shitface accepting her as a girlfriend and wanting to change her to your own tastes. That's not how it works mate. Either you like her as she is or you don't get together in the first place.
>There are plenty of nice fat worshipping guys out there and she doesn't need you to make her feel like shit about herself, when she could feel loved and appreciated for what she is.
"I'm not being aggressive you dumb dipshit", I seriously hope you are trolling.
I'm not fueling her self esteem issues. I do everything I can to make her feel good about herself. Hell her friend just thanked me for being so good to her because she has been the happiest she has ever been.
I am trying to be unbiased so I can have you guys give me valid advice. I just need to know how this girl compares to others when it comes to a relationship.
>>17346072
>fat
>doesnt put out
uwotm8
since this is your first go at this whole thing, i will indulge you. people do not change unless they want to, and even then, it is uncommon. unless you see a clear and concentrated effort on her part, she will not change- in fact, she will get progressively worse, since she knows she can get away with it. if i were in your shoes, i would have left long ago. i have my own shit to deal with, i have no time or desire to fix someone.
