I recently went through and ended an emotionally abusive relationship. During that time, I destroyed a friendship with one of my closest friends. She couldn't stand to see me keep going back to my abuser and started to harshly criticize me in a condescending manner. I couldn't stand it and stopped talking to her even after I broke up with my ex. My attempt to mend our friendship failed after that since she said I hurt her and even though she's asked to talk again since then, I still find it difficult to forgive her for how insensitively she treated me. I also had another friend who was frustrated with me going back to my ex but she wasn't as emotionally invested in my situation as the previously mentioned friend.
I've been reflecting a lot on my situation and I find that it's akin to Stockholm Syndrome. I don't think anybody but another abused person can really understand what I went through. I know my thought process was irrational and it truly felt like I was brainwashed by my ex. Even now, I find it difficult to get rid of some of the remnant emotional attachments to him. It's gotten me to ponder if my friends' response toward me was appropriate or not, if it's something that is or isn't helpful for victims of abuse. It seems like there isn't a good answer to this. Was I really wrong to have been upset by my friends' anger and frustration toward me? I understand their thoughts came out of a place of concern but it just felt like I was getting beaten down even more than I already was at the time.
Groa a thick skin already you dumb idiot, stockholm syndrome doesn't happen unless you were literally incarcerated with zero means of communication to the outside world. You're just an oversensitive retard with a victim complex.
>>17346017
I didn't say it WAS Stockholm Syndrome, you ass. I knew I should've typed traumatic bonding instead and it's a real thing that a lot of people have gone through. Thanks for not answering my fucking question. Fuck off to /r9k/ you prick.
>>17346022
If you knew it wasn't that then why bring it up at all? Perhaps fishing for pity by being overdramatic, hmmm?
Go attention whore somewhere else already, retarded cunt.
>>17346037
And you go fuck off with your pedantry. Jesus fucking Christ.
>>17346012
Just go talk to her again. It sounds like she cared for you a shit tonne and got frustrated. Yeah, maybe her response wasn't well thought out and sensitive, and you would have been right to be upset by someone close to you criticising you, but understand now that it came from a place of love and lack of understanding. Reach out to her. In the meantime, I would reach out to a support group of fellow victims, because as you said yourself they are the only ones who can understand what you went through and will probably be of the greatest help.
People make mistakes and have ignorances. Maybe now that you're out of that situation and her treatment of you isn't as dire, you'll be able to patch things up and help her understand why you did what you did. If she's a good person, she'll probably try and keep an open mind now that your well being isn't on the line and freaking her out.
But if she's no willing to understand and just judges you, don't think you need to put up with it. The road to hell and all that, even if her intentions were good doesn't mean she's a healthy person for you to be around.
It sucks to be the more put upon person in a situation having to take care of people on the periphery who don't understand, but that's the reality a lot of the time. It's up to you if you have that patience, or if you want to start a new life with friends who don't know or friends who've been through the same thing, etc.
Reach out, apologize and have a sit down talk. She got upset because she loves and cares for you. Hopefully you and her can move past this and become stronger as friends.
You are retarded,its not stockholm syndrome is stupidity.
Your friend tried to help you but tou were a total bitch
Why did you go back to a guy that beat you ?dafuq
>>17346228
Do you really think someone goes back to get their ass beat just to be a little shit to their friend who doesn't want to see them get hurt?
Obviously if someone's doing something that seems fucking crazy and objectively harmful, there must be something dragging them back, even if you don't understand what it is. Maybe instead of being wrapped up in yourself and focusing on how much it sucks to watch someone get beat, you should stop and realise it sucks a lot more to actually get beat. You're the shitty friend in this scenario.
>>17346012
> Be a dumb bitch
> Friend says I'm being a dumb bitch
> Be a bitch to my friend
> Friend gets mad
> Get mad because friend is mad
I can see that being an irrational dumb bitch is a chronic problem for you, maybe your ex was onto something.
>>17346217
>>17346225
Thanks guys... I guess I'll talk to her again. I haven't actually expressed to her how much this whole thing made me unreasonably irrational because everything about this has been too painful. She just doesn't get it and I need to tell her that.
>>17346228
>>17346253
Fuck off. I made a mistake and admitted it earlier. Yes, I shouldn't have worded it as being akin to Stockholm Syndrome and should've said traumatic bonding or whatever. So much for any constructive advice on this board. Seems like you guys just want to get off on hurting others who are asking for genuine advice and insight. Assholes.
