My boyfriend of 5.5 years broke up with me today. It was all an escalated tear fest.
Basically, my bf had an escalating porn addiction. I honestly did not mind the porn, it never interfered with out sexlife. Everything with him was amazing. But It escalated to talking to real life bitches through dating sites. In which he'd flirt, talk to them on the phone at night, ask for nudes.
I caught him doing this about four years ago and almost ended it. He begged me to stay and I did. Not knowing what it actually was.
I found out again today, confronted him. He dumped me because he said he can't stop. He cried, said he wanted to be with me and knew I was so rich for him. He said he didn't want to continuously hurt me.
I'm hurting real bad right now. Within these past five years I practically dedicated life to him. I'm really introverted, it was hard to keep up friendships while being in a relationship. I'm so lost on what to do for myself, just socially emotionally.
I don't want to date anyone else. I completely adored my boyfriend aside from this. I know I don't deserve it, but when will the pain go away?
>I was so rich for him
Meant to say right
if he cared so much, why couldn't he stop?
>>17345033
Well, the first step is to realize that this separation is benefiting you. That relationship was headed nowhere good, and that now you are stepping out, you are free to commence the healing process. I'm not going to lie. It's gonna be tough. There will be days where you'll be tempted to call him back, and "give it another shot".
You have to be strong. You have to hold on, and remember that life didn't begin with him, and it sure damn doesn't end without him.
>>17345033
How the fuck do losers always get the right kind of girls
>>17345033
The pain goes away when it goes away. Time is the only thing that can heal you emotionally. He wasn't faithful to you even if he wasn't physically fucking someone else. It's okay to have a wank to porn but chatting with other girls in a flirty manner while in a relationship is disgusting. If I found out my gf/bf was doing that I would throw her/him out on the street.
>>17345048
Thank you for the pep talk. I'm trying to keep myself busy. I don't know what to do with all our things. My room is filled with our pics, paintings he painted me, clothes of his. I don't want to get rid of it. Is that normal for now?
>>17345068
That's what most of me is saying. Why couldn't he just not? Like I'm being real when I say I was so chill with him. I wasn't overbearing, didn't get jealous often, was cool with his friends, I know I'm attractive. We clicked, like best friends but also lovers. I did everything possible to make it work, to be all he wanted and it wasn't enough.
>>17345102
Yeah is normal, but you have to get rid of it. There's no reason to keep any of it. I know... it may seem cold hearted to do so, but it's the only thing you can do.
Put everything, and I mean everything, in a box. Throw them out when you're ready to do so. Don't open them. If you have social media, go there and expunge everything as well.
It's tough, but it's the first step towards recovery. Think about it, what sense does it make to keep mementos of something that you want to leave behind? You're gonna carry a cross, that you don't have to.
>>17345102
Some people just don't want to be changed and they don't explain why most of the time. You were accepting of his faults and it sounds like you didn't try to change him. Which isn't a bad thing but he probably should have realised that his obsession with porn and then flirting with other women through the internet would hurt you. But he didn't and you should move on.
Don't waste your time with people that don't recognise when they are hurting you and don't change for you. If my gf said I was wanking too much to porn and it was making her feel unwanted I would stop wanking to porn.
Your bf had no self control so fuck him. His loss your gain. Also I know it is hard especially if you were together a long time but you just have to let go especially when he fails you like you described.
Talk to him and tell him he needs to get actual professional help with his porn addiction. You can let it be apparent you haven't closed the door on him, but you're not going to stay in a fucked up situation you're not okay with.
>>17345033
L O N D O N
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D
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>>17345126
I almost don't want to move. I know I should and just try to keep on keeping on. I'll try to move things when I can. He blocked me from all social media already. Im just dying inside. It was such a quick cut off. He acted so normal, so affectionate all these years. I called up our mutual friend and she said she knew the entire time and said he needs help and has been like that for all the years she knew him. I feel like a fool. Embarrassed.
>>17345102
Get rid of all that shit that reminds you of him. I broke up with a very long term girlfriend and kept a picture of her in my wallet for over a year, hoping that maybe, somehow, we'd get back together.
Don't lie to yourself like I did. Getting over a breakup doesn't just happen, you have to make the effort.
>>17345154
Looks like he's moving on, why shouldn't you? Don't overthink it. There's no need to. Let him go his way, and worry about which way you're going.
And I don't want to give my 2 pennies on matters that I know nothing about, BUT, I will for your sake.
That "mutual friend". Into the fucking trash.
