Self respect.

>>17344771
It's not that simple. I respect myself a lot, but when it comes to situations where I decide to look past it, I can't just force myself to stop. It won't help the internal problem. I need to be able to do it naturally, not forcefully.

>>17344742
Dude...think about this...
IF you don't start respecting yourself now you will eventually lose this girl.
Learn NOW the things that you like, learn how to have fun with yourself (im not talking about jerking off in 4chan) and with your friends.
Trust me...if you keep being needy you'll lose her.

In addition to what the other anons said, it could just be a matter of you having too much time on your hands as to where you can be up her ass all the time. Do you have friends? If so, spend more time with them. Get a hobby. A job. Something that also arrests some of your time and attention

>>17344786
Look past what OP? You lost me

>>17344804
I have a hobby, a job, I go to school and hang out with friends whenever I can...but none of those interests me more than her.

>>17344871
Decide to look over respecting myself. Like saying okay in this situation I'm not going to pay attention to self respect.

>>17344787
I know, that's specifically why I'm trying to stop it..I really don't know how to invest in myself or other things. I've spent essentially my whole life looking forward to love. I don't know how to stop it, that's why I'm asking. I need to do this for myself, but also so that I don't lose her for good....I've already lost her three times.

>>17345284
If you arent a chad you can say goodbye to all notions of love for anyone hnder 30
The decent ones who havent been snacthed up are all waiting patiently at chads feet for a chance to swing from his dick.
Its what females do, get better at lying or learn to suck your own dick

>>17345313
>If you aren't a chad
I guess could consider me one apart from the fact that I'm a needy fucking cunt. I'm good looking, in fantastic shape, big dick, fuck well etc etc. She finds me irresistibly attractive too. If she's managed to hang on this long then I'm lucky as shit. My problem is that I need to fucking change and have no idea how. Basically all my qualities mean fuck all to her because of this. None of them matter at all. What matters is my behavior turns her off so I look worse than the average guy to her. I need to find a way to stop this shit.

>>17345313
>get better at lying
I did. It works for a while but I can't keep up the charade forever. This is why I need to actually change as opposed to fake it. This is the third time I fake it and it always ends up backfiring once we get deep.

>>17345284
Anon, put yourself in your girls shoes.

She's sexy, guys hit on her daily, she's got it going on. She's dating a guy that seems nice enough, but is never giving her any breathing room. After a while all those other guys seem so much more interesting than her needy guy so she drops him.

Typical "nice guy" scenario. You get attention after years of being treated like shit and you go bonkers.

Why do we do this?

Humans require relationships in order to have self fulfillment. When we for some reason or another don't get it we become desperate for it. If you have learned anything about causality, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. As you are more desperate for something the more it will elude you.

So if you want love, you cannot find it being desperate for someone else. You become so engrossed in another person that you forget your own basic needs. And no women will ever have sex with a man who does not respect himself. Period.

You say you've spent your entire life looking for love. Have you ever thought that love isn't something you gain from someone else, but instead something you make yourself?

Do you believe a woman who you have "lost" three times cares enough about your feelings and believes in you like you believe in her? I don't think she does man.

Maybe along the way you lost your confidence. Maybe in six grade Suzy rejected you and you haven't recovered from it. Maybe your from an abusive household, maybe you were pampered by sisters, maybe you had it rough and don't have a lot of confidence. Whatever it is you've got to find out why you don't have enough self respect to leave some bratty girl and live your life. No girl will ever fill that void.

>>17345379
She's already gone, with other guys, but refuses to be in a relationship, but her main focus is me. She only fucks me. I'm her priority.

>but instead something you make yourself?
Elaborate a bit. I don't look for love, I try to find some to create it with. To develop and cultivate it with.

I understand what you mean by filling the void. I really don't know what to say. I've had trouble my whole life with this relationship shit. Lack of friends growing up, low self esteem, dad harsh and distant, mom dead in my teens. Various things. But knowing that, what the fuck does it mean? I know the cause, okay, but what do I do about it? How do I become independent? I don't know how to fix it. I can see where the problem lies but now what is the solution? How do I do it?

I love myself. I really do. I view myself quite highly. I used to have AWFUL confidence and self esteem. I've mostly fixed it. I worked on it a lot and I really do love myself as a person. I value myself and think I deserve good things. But why, when I have a girl, am I so gung ho? Well, it's not with "girls", it's with her and only her. My first girlfriend. My first love, the kind of love I value more than anything. I could care less about any other girl Seriously, any. How can I stop that? What is the fix? Is it to just SUDDENLY stop caring? Is it to invest more in myself and other things and NOT her? If so, how do I even do that?

I don't see how telling myself to suddenly gain more respect for myself is going to change anything. Maybe I don't value myself as much as I think I do? If I don't, suddenly telling myself to do so doesn't exactly make sense to me.

>>17345436
Your mom died when you were a teenager and your dad didn't give you much attention.

So now you seek people who create that same dynamic. You clamp onto this girl who obviously isn't making you enough of a priority to be in a serious relationship because of your own abandonment issues, and you desire their approval from the lack of approval you didn't get from your father.

This is just a guess of course.

I don't think you ever grew a healthy relationship with yourself. So now you project the inherent lack of emotional security on your own relationships. Thus perpetuating a cycle.

To break the cycle will take baby steps. You must do the one thing you haven't been willing to do with this relationship: be selfish. If she won't commit you don't need her and stand by your decision. It's high time you stand up for yourself and be a man. You can have women in your life, but you should NEVER depend on a women for love, happiness, or validation. The only person you need to validate is yourself. The only person you should please is yourself.

To practice this do things for yourself you don't do. Go hang gliding, rock climbing, study the coral reefs on the coast, something exciting. Hang out with more men to get your emotional needs met so you don't have to depend on a woman. And date more women. See what's out there. There are millions of attractive women waiting for you man. Don't limit yourself.

>>17345575
If I were to describe it, and this probably isn't the issue at its core, but I see her like a challenge and I want to overcome it. It would be fulfilling. But the pressing issue right now isn't that. It's me saying to myself
>Okay, I JUST want to SEE what would happen between us if I did NOT have this issue. I want to see if we'd sink or swim. I want to see what happens without this huge wall between us (my neediness)

I want to see if it would work because before I became needy, I didn't like her that much. Thus, I wasn't needy. Didn't care about her. She was all over me. Like in LOVE. It was like that for a while. Whenever I would become less needy, we would get along great. She would love me and I'd be satisfied. But when I'm more needy, she strays away.