I need fucking help, now. This is the most delicate part of my fucking life and I'm fucking love sick. I can write about my feelings all day. Asked her out 6 months ago asking if she'd like to do something sometime. She said sorry I currently have a boyfriend. I said oh alright bummer and she probably fucking forgot about it 2 days later or so I bet. I denied all emotions and denied all premise of her popping up in my friend group, so as to not suspect I'm still attracted to her. I'm fucking torturing myself everyday, and I don't know how to stop. I've tried meditation, eating healthy, hanging out with friends, hanging out with family, doing work, doing my hobby, playing video games (recently beat Undertale in one setting because fuck all), writing down my feelings in a journal, and posting in the fucking advice threads. The only person that knows what I'm feeling is my brother, except I told him I'm over it like a week ago (not because I didn't want his help, because I actually thought I was over it).
TL;DR, I'm 18 years old, fell in love with someone in which I don't even fucking know them to fall in love with, and started this negative spiral of emotions in which I feel trapped and cannot get out of.
What do I do? I feel utterly trapped. I feel no motivation, I feel no passion in my hobby anymore, I feel terrified of the future, and I feel terrified at what would happen if I were to add her on facebook..
Become a carpenter
I'm literally dying
Fuck guys what do I do
I'm so lonely :(
>>17341760
Can't help you OP except that I did the same thing at 15 and at 23 it's not any better. But I'm not normal. You probably are.
>>17341863
Do you have a girlfriend now? Did you ever have a girlfriend?
>>17341868
Actually yes, at 17 I did. For 3 months. Never liked her but she liked me so I gave it a shot. I still like the other girl. She got married last year. I've graduated college and I'm doing pretty well monetarily speaking. But I still have a complete loss of motivation.
>>17341880
Do you feel the need to motivate yourself? Ever? Has you life turn to shit right after that incident? Or was life awesome until that moment? I'm sorry
>>17341760
>denied all premise of her popping up in my friend group, so as to not suspect I'm still attracted to her.
do you mean inviting her? you don't invite her to hang out with you and your friends anymore, or are they her friends too?
>>17341887
I was honestly on the track to being one of those people who gets a 4 in engineering. I created my own 3D fps at 13, game engine and all. I knew calculus 2 at 14. I really don't know if these examples are impressive or not because my perception of reality is a bit screwed up now. But I sincerely believe I would be much farther in life.
I work at an embedded software company right now, and have for about 1 year. I barely try. In my opinion, I work slowly and poorly, but I've already been told I'm better than most people who have been there 5+ years. I hate that I could be more but this has just taken a hold on my life that I can't shake. I might just kill myself.
Try not to let someone else control your life, in any way. Especially, don't let someone else be your reason for living or succeeding in life. It was the worst mistake of my life.
>>17341897
i don't know the girl all that well so i thought it'd be weird to talk about her, i thought it'd look bad on me yknow?
>>17341907
ok well the part of the story you leave out is, is she a stranger or someone you knew? what was your history before you asked her out? did you even know her? how close were you to her?
>>17341904
why would you kill yourself? how stuck are you? what haven't you tried yet? i feel like i'm heading that way too, except no where close to being that smart. if you say you're good at all this shit, then whos to say you won't be good at say, cooking? idk i feel kinda dickish saying this to you considering i'm kinda in the same position
>>17341887
Also, I should ask. Are you at all attracted to other women? Because I'm not. Just her. So, that might also be a problem unique to me.
>>17341912
i never knew her, i found out about her while trying to facebook search this other girl i found out about. tried adding her twice but she didn't respond and i felt weird after that. the second time being by accident after i took the first one off.
>>17341916
now that i think about it, i don't think so. she has become like the 'main' girl so far.
i'm feeling like a stalker and i don't know why i even like her in the first place
>>17341913
Tried what? Just, in general? Well, it's my fucked up perception of reality and logic. No matter what I do, I will never be with her. So, why try anything? If I were the next Elon Musk or (non fag) Zuckerberg, that won't do me any good. I no longer feel satisfaction from any success I may achieve.
If you can, date other girls. Try a lot. Maybe that's the key to breaking this. I think it's too late for me.
>>17341920
so if she is a stranger, what do you think is so attractive about her? why do YOU think she has the effect on you she does??
>>17341925
>
because i see alot of her in me, that no other girl has.
my friend seems to agree too, but then again, he's kinda retarded sometimes and has no self confidence. but he's my longest known friend ever since kindergarden. we used to hang out like every weekend. this person i have created in my head seems legit in real life, and i think that's why... but i already asked her out
>>17341924
like, what haven't you tried? that's my exact fucking question. honestly it's just a bunch of fucking chemicals reinforced by patterns, so what haven't you tried?
>>17341937
meant to say love is a bunch of chemicals
>>17341937
In reference to what? Are you asking why I don't try succeeding or attaining accomplishments? Or asking why I don't try finding someone else?
>>17341924
honestly man to say its too late for you and you're only 18 seems to be stretching it.
if you're in a tough spot, realize that nothing is forever, everything changes, anything can happen, and in the meantime to explore other paths in life. you can't predict what tomorrow will bring. sometimes it is good we don't get what we want when we want it
just keep up with your friends, stay healthy, and make choices that are good for you. you can't force anything. I just wouldn't be so FINITE about the whole situation.
>>17341943
to fix your lovesickness? what haven't you tried in all 7 or so years to fix it? and yeah maybe move out and goto like california or some place by the beach and become a spoiled happy pup with your knowledge, or talk with a therapist if you haven't tried? god i feel like a dick for saying this
>>17341944
I'm not OP. I'm 23. Done with college. Everyone said I'd meet someone in college. I wish I hadn't believed them. It would have hurt less.
Your advice is still good though. Not so much for me, but for OP
>>17341953
oh. well why do you discount people like Zuckerberg/Musk etc? are you saying that wouldn't help you "attain" her?
>>17341952
No you're fine. That's actually one thing I'm trying to do right now. Move really far away. I'm looking for a new job right now. I also started going to the gym last year. I enjoy it and I am healthier now, but it hasn't really helped in regards to this problem.
I haven't dated other girls (except the one) so I bet that would have helped me.
Also, I don't consider myself smart anymore. My brain doesn't work as well as it used to.
>>17341957
She's married.
>>17341863
Hahahahahah
>>17341907
>i don't know the girl all that well
>lovesick
You don't know what lovesick is, guy. You're infatuated because you're placing your ideals on to this person you don't know.
>>17341965
god that must fucking suck. the girl i'm obsessing over is probably going to be married soon, too.
>>17341969
some of my ideals were CONFIRMED though
>>17341970
Honestly at this point it doesn't bother me or change anything. I want her to be happy and she is. I could never be with her anyway so it's the same now as it was years ago when she was single.
Perhaps having less toxic thoughts would help get over the lovesickness.
>>17341965
>>17341970
it seems like it sucks, but if you think of the alternative, stalking her and seeing who she's sleeping around with/dating/always running free, not so much.
marriage in a way seals it so tight you have no other choice but to move on. and when you start believing in fate.....
but I mean, there's also a 50% divorce rate and we're young as fuck relatively so .....
>>17341971
What, that she likes/does X, Y or Z? Because she's not the only person in the world who likes/does X, Y or Z. Stop treating her like some magical unicorn and stop listening to this friend that is likely just trying to placate you.
>>17341977
how the fuck is she not a magical unicorn though. i fucking love her for that. how do i turn her into something different? wtf
>>17341982
Then explain to me how she is, because you don't know her. You are not privy to her faults.
>>17341994
because she could be the most similar to me and i may not fucking know it. she could be the one or she could not be but i'm fucking left with not knowing
>>17341999
If you're left with not knowing, then the answer is that she isn't the one.
>>17341999
There are other people out there with varying degrees of compatibility, some more compatible and some not. Just because she may be somewhat similar to you does not mean she will be good for a happy, healthy relationship. Again, you don't know her so you don't understand her likes, faults, etc. Your friend, unless he's been in a relationship with her himself, does not truly know her above a surface level.
>>17342009
>>17342006
okay, now how do i stop these feelings?
>>17342014
By coming to terms with what we've told you. You don't know her well enough to "love" her, you're blindly infatuated with ideals you've placed upon her. Now go out and meet girls that share similar interests.
>>17342018
she's so unique in so many ways it's hard to distinguish between her and other girls. but in reality everyone is unique i guess.
