I have my licence, I got it when I was 16. 20 now and talked this through with a counselour and I still haven't dropped my fear of driving.
Never been in an accident, always stay less than 5 over the speed limit, etc.
But my mother taught me to drive and she wasnt the greatest instructor, her body language told me that she was always nervous with me behind the wheel so I thought for a while that my driving was wrong in a way I couldn't see it.
My older brother, was a straight up bad driver, which the counselour I talked to about my fear, told me is the likely cause.
>He didnt understand that turning over 30mph was dangerous
>Very indecisive so quite a few honks our way
>Bounces in between the lane
>cant accurately determine when hes supposed to slow down so he ends up getting inches close whilst slamming the brakes
Even worse, every sunday for a year and a half, he drove me to church, which has so many stories and situations where we shouldve just called 911 but didnt: I became terrified of the road.
All these years later I always talk myself out of driving unless I absolutely have to.
I'm reaching out here because I'm very much hoping to hear some words that would make ultimate sense to me and will just snap me out of it as my counselour served just a bit useless.
You should drive a bit everyday/often on your own or with someone you feel comfortable with. It doesn't has to be a long trip, something like going to the church like you said or go shopping.
I would also avoid being in the car with your brother unless you really have to.
>I became terrified of the road.
You fear doing the same thing as your brother or having it happen to you? (like a car "getting inches closer" to you)?
>>17340896
If you have good spacial awareness, and know what you're doing, then you have nothing to worry about.
I personally love driving, and driving fast, but I don't berate people that don't. If you don't want to drive fast or aggressively, and take your time, cool. At the end of the day you're driving a tonne of machinery at speed, you can't fuck around.
Take your time and do it your way, it sounds like you're aware of what makes a bad driver, and so you won't drive badly. If you worry you're holding people up, pull over and let them by, then be on your way.
Maybe find a nice quiet road and make yourself comfortable driving up and down it, then start going places with a little bit of traffic until you feel comfortable there, and slowly build yourself up with more traffic.
I feel the same, I feel it come more from feeling like I constantly have to make sure everyone around me is driving correctly as I live in a place full of horrible drivers, only one of NY friends still on my first car. Hasn't really gotten better, I just try distract myself from how I feel while driving
JUST DO IT! YESTERDAY WAS TODAY'S TOMORROW SO JUST DO IT
OP there's not much you can do besides just getting behind the wheel. My wife was involved in a car accident (she wasn't even driving) and was terrified to even get in the car for months. She finally just forced herself to get behind the wheel and just drove around town, places she felt comfortable. Within a few weeks she was driving to other cities. She still has her bad days where she gets nervous if people are being morons on the roads or if road conditions are hazardous like rain/snow but she pushes through. She drives defensively and you just gotta do the same. She said having loud music in the car helped her, maybe that might work for you?
>>17341000
I'm not scared of doing the same things my brother has. I'm just worried about an accident itself, the anger, stress, money. It just feels so possible and ready to happen at any moment I fear being on the road.
>>17341006
My counselour had me drive to a place with very few cars but its a bit far away. Though I think i'll start convincing myself to go. thanks
>>17341084
Music may help, I havent thought of that. Though being in texas means i'll have to find a radio station that isnt blasting the same country music.
Thanks guys for the suggestions, today I've forced myself to start experimenting.
