Anon, she doesn't want to talk to you or hang out with you. If she wanted to do either of these things then you wouldn't be posting here. Once you admitted your feelings and she said that she saw you as a friend, that was your cue to move on but you missed it.

Right now all you are doing is torturing yourself, what do you hope to accomplish by contacting her? that she will want to hang out? Then what? Are you going to blind her with your wit? Are you going to fuck her?

Move on man, hate to see you be obsessed with a bitch who couldn't give two shits about you

>>17340683
The thing is that in reality she is quite shy in person. Only talks to one other person at length.

She did NOT say the "Only see you as a friend" or even anything alluding to it. If she did say that I would have.

And really, if she did not even want to talk, why would she carry on conversations for upto 5 hrs?

Honestly, I don't know what I would want to accomplish, I just have an urge to do so.

Also, we did "Agree" to hang out at some point when I asked the first time following class ending.

Just follow your heart maybe and not think?

>>17340795
Not OP, that shit doesn't work at all, at least for me. When I think about what I'm doing I'm nearly invincible in everything, when I follow my guts I always fuck up everything

>>17340827
What would you recommend to op then?

>>17340835
Too few information (and love is something I'm still learning about) but from what I read the easiest thing would be to just forget her.
But
If he thinks that really there's a strong chance and she's actually just busy and shy then he has to take the control of this, find a moment when she's free and just get her with all the shit flirt is about, I'm not going to explain here.
If she's shy all he has to do is just go on and don't expect her to do anything

If she keeps avoiding him she's not shy, she's not interested

>>17340848
OP here. I can provide more info if you want.

But honestly I do think she is busy. But I just never can find a time that works with her.


It's not really like she avoids me in person, it is more so when a friend of hers is around. Only then is she actually kind avoidant of me. Once they are not around, she is more open.

We have locked eyes from across the Room, and she has appeared near me at random in the past.

I genuinely think she's shy as she has said that she that she is only just now coming out of her shell.

>>17340665
Bro, at this point, you have two options.

A) Continue to bother her.
B) Ignore her.

You're thinking through things way too much, you're acting to preserve a potential future relationship with this girl. She definitely doesn't think that way. If she likes a guy, she'll hang out with him and see where it goes. She thinks in the present. And currently, you're a friend, who clearly wants her pussy, asking her to hang out. She is probably scared by the disproportionate investment between the two of you in the friendship, i.e., you've made it clear you care much more about its direction than she does.

That comes off as clingy and bothersome, especially since you've already proven to her you want to see her again. Beating a dead horse doesn't help.

So, let's imagine continue to bother her. It basically preserves the status quo, only it makes the situation worse and worse each time you ask her.

Now, let's imagine you ignore her. You spend time with your friends that actually want to see you, you meet new people, and you distance yourself from her. If you do all of this confidently and for yourself, you'll figure out she's, relatively, really not as important to you as you once felt. And, who knows, maybe you'll see her in the future (a few months, I'd guess) when you're a changed, more confident person, and the whole game will change. Maybe she'll text you, say "hey, long time no see!" That's just how most girls operate.

Also, I'm going to take a guess and say you're in high school. If so, chill out dude, you have your whole life ahead of you, and half of the world is women. Just learn about yourself.

>>17340871
I don't know, if there aren't more problems (like you appear once a week or less) she can be busy 2 or 3 times, more mean that she's avoiding you or that you're not important enough for her to find a free spot.
That's what I think and should be enough for you to stop with her. Try saying that you'd really like an evening with her and ask when she's free instead of proposing.
Also
>>17340886
He's just right

>>17340886
I guess that would be best. Not to contact her. I am trying to do that, but it will just keep buzzing around in my mind until something happens for closure.


And I finished my 2nd year of college, its just that I am terribly awkward socially, and I never been in a relationship before.

>>17340900
I always ask her to hang out on Saturdays. And once on short notice on a Friday.

So really only 3 times. Twice were Graduation for her siblings. And the third was that she was going to a private event.

If I do say something it would be like what you recommended. But it probably wont be for a week or two until I get paid.

>>17340907
I'm in your position too, just finished my 2nd year of college and never had a relationship before.
In September I started liking a girl, in December I've been friendzoned (as usual).
From January I decided that was going to change and I tried, fuck I tried a lot with her.
Now I'm here, alone and sad, thinking about her but I've gained my first kiss, my first relationship (even if short and unlucky) and my first handjob and more important I've learned how to get a girl. So if you really want her do it, even if you'll fail, for all the girl you'll fuck in the future.
Just remember, if you fuck up then be cold enough to study why you fucked up, take what you can from failures.

>>17340907

I'm >>17340886


Sorry it was rude of me to assume you were in high school.

But it takes two to tango. I think very similarly to you in these situations, I'm always twenty steps ahead of partners/love interests in terms of planning the course of the relationships. But people don't like to be controlled, man. Sometimes, you just need to put that aside and let something grow organically, any type of relationship requires both people planning together. It's much more real and satisfying to have things work out spontaneously than for things to adhere to your vision of the future. It'll catch you off guard every time, man.

So see if she texts you. If she wants you (and the only way things will work out would be if she does), she will text you. If not, it's not meant to be bro.

In the meantime, just try and make a bunch of really good first impressions with new people and women you find attractive. Then, see who out of them takes the initiative to talk to you again. Go from there. It gives you options, it takes the pressure off of you to get it right, it allows for things to happen naturally with more girls, builds confidence, and is just plain good practice.

Hope I helped, friend!

>>17340948
I never got to that point with her.

I met her in Jan, got friendzoned in April.

I have decided to improve my self, and finally get into shape. I am down like 35-40 lbs so far, and want at least another 50-60 gone. Hopefully that improves confidence in general

>>17340960

I guess its understandable. But yea, I'll probably just leave it for now and see where it goes.

But then again a shy girl may have trouble doing that

>>17340827

Yeah following my guts has left me with a long series of embarrassing events. Don't follow your guts if you are this socially stupid. You know deep down she has zero interest in you, that's your true gut feeling. You wanting to contact her is desperation, not gut feeling.

>>17340961
Think about your confidence with girls as something you need to learn and build. I've always been too shy probably cause I didn't want to expose me too much, I lacked of the moves.
Been friendzoned in highschool (for like ,2/3 years, terrible) then met a few girls in college but I didn't like them enough for me to fuck up my "image" by acting stupid. Then I found her and she's perfect for me, totally crazy and untrustworthy but perfect, sexy and smart, had a lot of men. For the first time I thought "I want her and I don't mind how much I'll fuck up, I'll get her and I'll built with her my fucking confidence". And so I did.
Now I just have to improve and learn the next step: how to maintain a relationship. Let's see if it'll be her again, I think this story is not over.
Do it man, grow up

>>17340969
If she has trouble communicating with you and taking the next step, it's not your job to take that step for her. People don't like having their lives pushed into other people's lives, they'll reject it every time. It only works out if it's her decision.

>>17340986
I suppose that is true. It is already clear that I am interested, and that if she is, the door is wide open.

>>17340983
I suppose that's true, but the weight loss will help my confidence, as I probably will fee more comfortable doing stuff.

>>17340665
>But it obviously seems that shes not, but has not said the dreaded "But I only see you as a Friend" line.
if you know shes not interested, she's not. trust me op. you should know by now that people dont have to straight up say how they feel about you for you to get the point. it seems like you already know this, you still have a hard time accepting it right now because you still feel attached to her.

>The thing is that in reality she is quite shy in person. Only talks to one other person at length.
>And really, if she did not even want to talk, why would she carry on conversations for upto 5 hrs?
op, she's just lonely and wants a friend, nothing more. a lot of my girlfriends are lonely people too and its not unusual that they would carry conversations that last more than 5 hours with other guys. The only thing is they're too ugly for their guy friends to like them back, so it works. too much wishful thinking going on here my man.
dont think too much about the details, because they dont mean anything. look at the big picture. you know she doesn't like you, so deal with it. if it hurts too much to stay friends with her, then cut her off. theres nothing you can do. move on.

>>17341017
The thing is that I still don't know for sure, I suspect it, but there still is a decent amount of doubt. How she acted prior and even during this could indicate something.
And I guess the lonely looking for a friend part is true. Excluding the part where they are too ugly to attract. She is easily a 7-8 for most.
But yea, you are probably right.

>>17341045
And I actually kinda want to remain friends with her.

>>17341229
Ok, this part is important
You made it clear now, you value her first.
No, for this first period you can't allow yourself to do this, you need to concentrate always on what you want for her and from her, and for you. That's it. You have powers, you have a plan, leave the love apart. Basically now love makes you weak and you can't allow it.
Again, don't concentrate on her but more on the fact that you want her. Don't concentrate on how she's so good but on why do you like her.
You're in the middle of this, she is your target.

>>17341242
Honestly I don't know what you are saying.

Try to just become better friends with her and ignore the love aspect? or what?

Just follow your judgement.

I am sure that something between you is causing you hold onto hope