I fucked up
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hi /adv/, I think I fucked up bigtime.
>25 M, New gf of 1 month. Things going great til 1 week ago.
>I told her I love her b/c I fucking do. She doesn't say it back straight away. Later she says she doesn't think I love her, she thinks I love the idea of her but not her. She thinks I don't like her enough or something, some super insecurity issues.
>I love the shit out of her but she says it so much she makes me question myself. I accidentally tell her a story about my first gf who totally hurt me and ever since I've dated 'safely' (only girls who obviously like me more than I like them). Tell her she's the only risk I've taken since then, but that I don't know if I'm capable of the blind passion that was my first girlfriend, because she essentially left a huge hole in me and I never want to hurt like that again.
>She doesn't take it well. She thinks I'm incapable of falling in love. Halfway convinces me too. I'm still undecided about this because if I don't love her then what the fuck is love supposed to feel like? She says "you'll just know" but I think I already do. She doesn't believe me.
>We've agreed to just wing it and move past it.
>Still miss the shit out of each other
What do? I fucking love her guys. How do I convince her that I love her?
To be fair, i do think you love the idea of her more than HER. you can't know her in and out after a month. That's just not possible. And since you only know fractions of her, you can't "decide" if you might be capable to love her when you discover the things about her you don't know yet. I think she has a point. Also, everybody gets hurt. If you aren't willing to be vulnerable again, you HAVE intimacy issues and might not be capable of love at this point.
>>17339497
I should clarify. We were friends and talked to each other for like 6 months before getting together. We know a lot about each other. I had a crush on her for pretty much the whole time but didn't act because I didn't think dating was a great idea (she doesn't live in my city, we'd have to travel to see each other, I would constantly worry about her and be a mess etc.) but we ended up talking about our feelings and dated anyway. Now we're together and I can't shake these feelings anymore.
And even if I really do have intimacy issues, what's wrong with me saying "Let's work on it together"?
