There's a friend of mine who I completely fucking failed at wooing because I was too beta to act on her signs
When I finally did via text she didn't outright reject me, mainly because I added "but if not that's cool I hope we can still be friends" to the end of it
her response was roughly "Oh sorry for taking so long to answer everything's been so busy but of course I hope we can still be friends!"
This was in April
I thought I'd be over it by now but its just been plaguing me more and fucking more and I can't get her out of my mind. Probably because we still talk as friends, but this is seriously starting to destroy my mental health I feel. There are some nights where the only way I can fall asleep is thinking about us hanging out and doing mundane shit.
Then tonight I finally decide to finish this show she's been egging me to get through since January. Turns out the moral of the last two episodes is how timing plays such a heavy part in love. I wanted to simultaneously breakdown and smash my laptop at the end
Is it a terrible idea to try and pursue her again? Tomorrow we and two other friends are hanging out and while I don't think its the right time to burst out with something like this, would it be wrong to start acting flirtatious with her again?
If no, how the hell do I get over this? I feel like this is the single biggest failure in my life. She's not a 10/10 or anything but her personality is one of the greatest I've ever seen in another human and to think I've pushed something so rare out of my life makes me sick
My advice is to just give it up op. If you can handle being friends then you shouldn't hangout or talk to her. You were the one who said you were cool with being friends but you obviously aren't.
>>17339317
I said this out of being a coward at the time and thought it was a safe way to keep her in my life
This was a mistake
Is there really no okay way to go about pursuing again, like extra light flirting or whatever, that won't make me seem like a desperate creep?
I just can't really deal with failing myself in such an extreme way, it almost causes me physical pain at times
I don't think it's a terrible idea to try and pursue her again
But yeah take it slow and don't burst out with all these feelings, just play it as cool as possible and see where things go
How close were you guys? What's changed about her life since she was sending you signs?
>>17339326
You tried to make a move and failed. I don't know you and I don't know her but I wouldn't reccomend making another move. She thinks your a legit friend and it sounds like you aren't. You lived before her and you'll live after.
The pain is their because you are still hoping to be with her.
>>17339332
>How close were you guys? What's changed about her life since she was sending you signs?
Our group of classmates were getting closer and closer and as a result of this + projects we were hanging out independently more often and during these moments she'd drop lines that made it seem like she was interested more and more, but it seems like she hit a breaking point about a week before I sent that stupid text which led to her being pretty cold towards me. After it, our relationship has been pretty much the same as it was before sans the flirting. Detailing this makes me hate my own cowardice so much.
>>17339339
I don't want to think you are more correct than the other anon but I'm deathly afraid that you are
Mainly because I don't know how to move on. There's no other girl I know as cute and as wonderful as a human as her, and I sincerely don't think this is me putting her on a pedestal but fact. I thought most of these things before feeling attracted to her and then out of nowhere she became extremely pretty to me for some reason
>>17339369
You'll find another OP. Don't get hung up on person who doesn't have feeling anywhere as near as strong as you. Maybe try asking her if she has any single friends? Even if she doesn't know anyone now it doesn't hurt to network.
>>17339306
>im not a beta
>writes 4 paragraphs about how a girl rejecting him mentally devestated him for months
Op you arent ready for any kind of rejection and the fact that you think some random chick wont date you is the "biggest failure" of your life is hilarious, are you 15-23?
>>17339394
22, I also didn't say I wasn't beta. In fact I said I was just in case the situation wasn't proof in itself.
>>17339391
This would be easier if she wasn't someone I couldn't detach myself from because we'll have classes together for another year
not to mention I don't think I could actually bring myself to do it. Maybe I'll ask since I know she has some incredibly pretty friends but from my experience with her I doubt she'll put in a good word.
>>17339399
Well op everyone is like this at some point, a chick rejecting you is by no means the end of the world and you are HEAVILY(huge emphasis here) putting her on a pedestal, dismissing her personality flaws, and exagerating the good things about her. You will get hurt if you continue to view potential relationships like this and its the reason why youre hurting now. You give her all these "perfect mate" attributes that arent really there and are viewing her as the ultimate catch that got away. She isnt and youll meet more girls.
My advice is still the same, until you can handle rejection and not place chicks on pedestals as soon as youre interested you shouldnt date. Youll be taken advantage of by shitty people.
>>17339399
Ok then just keep being her friend. Don't do anything you wouldn't do for a guy friend.
How do you know she won't put in a good word? You aren't a total creep if she still sees you as a friend. Even if she doesn't know anyone it serves as a way to show her you arent just hanging around her to date her.
See if she still has any feelings for you or returns flirting before you listen to the "more fish in the sea"fags. You could be missing out on something great by following generic advice.
>>17339451
this
